Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Communicating, not talking

Having been missing in action for quite sometime now, I am now actually in London. I could have go to many other places for my holidays, but why London? I came here to be recharge spiritually. Staying with a friend that is after God’s heart, meeting people that are on fire for God, getting new ideas of people’s view of life.

There are a few things that affect my decisions in life since my stay here. I have decided on which church to go to, what to pray about and also getting closer to God, spending more quality time with Him.

I have heard many testimonies about prayer moving God’s hand. Very encouraged after each sermon and testimony about it. Uncountable times since was still a young kid. But I have been praying for a long time now, but quite inconsistent. Was i just talking and not listening? After coming to the UK, I have a room to myself, more time for myself, more thoughts of my own. Deciding that I would have consistent quite time with God(and actually connecting with Him) is one of the decision that I have made and am proud about it. From 10 minutes to 20 minutes to half an hour. It is not about the minutes, it is the quality time spent with Him. Sometimes when we are connected, time just pass by so quickly without us realizing it.

Human are like learning machines. Every time I read the bible, it now seems that God is talking to me in a different way. Revealing more and more to me. Only before my holidays, I was asking God to talk to me, why have I been praying for so long and not hearing His voice personally? Talk to me if you’re really there I said. After a few weeks of telling God that, a thought just came, “have not what I have done in your life speaking on behalf of me already?” Thinking of that, I wept and wept, knowing that God has indeed done wonders in my life, in my family, in my friends. Sometimes, God speak not in the way that we expect Him to. Just as Jesus coming to the earth was not the way we expect a king to come, but when we look at situation from a different point of view, we will be able to understand it. Having so many miracles in my life, the people that God bring into my life to grow closer to Him, He is indeed communicating with me in actions rather than words.

God have been revealing so many ideas to me in my life, changing my thoughts, my behaviors, my actions, I am truly not the same person that I used to be. Surely many of my characteristics are pretty much the same, but my thinking really changed. The reasons why I do things changed. My mum have always told us to be ambassadors for Christ. For the pass 20 years, only now I understand what it truly means. Not fully yet, but i am able to understand more of it now. Such an easy philosophy, just a few words, yet it took me such a long time to digest it. I used to think that I know quite a lot, but as I listen to more when others speak, I realized that my knowledge is so so so shallow.

God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow. But to be more and more like Him, we cannot remain at the same level of understanding yesterday today and tomorrow. We need to improve from yesterday and more today and even more tomorrow.

Just talking to God verbally and actually being in the presence of God is so different. I used to just talk to God, but as I grow and learn, I am now learning to communicate with God. There are so much that I do not understand, but with faith, I know that God is slowly drawing me closer to Him.

Sunday, November 30, 2008


White field, empty street, leafless trees. Yup, its snowing here. And it is getting colder by the day. All my body wants to do is to laze around, watch a movie, have a hot and filling meal. the sweet aroma of hot coffee just calms you down and bring you into dreamland sooner that you realise.

But then, when I was reading the bible, there it is, the verse that speaks to me. “IF A MAN WILL NOT WORK, HE SHALL NOT EAT!!!” Wow, such direct message. It is the warning against idleness.

I went to the library today, knowing that I’ll only sleep if I stay at home. Before starting, I said a short prayer that goes something like this “Lord, give me the strength to stay awake and study.” To no surprise, after an hour, my head gets nearer and nearer to the table, and soon enough, I went into dreamland and woke up only after an hour has pass. “too cold, too cold, I need to go home now.”

Many a times, “THE SPIRIT IS WILLING BUT THE FLESH IS WEAK.” but this does not mean that we can give in, we(I) might fail trying, but this test goes on. Try and try and try. Change the mind set, purpose in our heart!!!

Let us all have a fruitful winter and enjoy the lovely snow!!!

Continue to pray and ask for strength!!!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Supporting My BROTHER!!!

Support my bro on his study trip to LONDON. Please show some support by buying and promoting to your fellow friends. Thank you very much.

"Becoming a contemporary Christian to engage the prevalent culture of the day is not the same as getting the approval of that culture. If you are looking for cultural approval, you will end up compromising. And by doing that, you are allowing the world to define you, and to lead you. The power to define is the power to validate. As long as you are the head and not the tail, you will excel and lead in the world. And when you become a leader in the industry God has planted you in, you become the one who validates others, not the other way around." Pastor Kong Hee

Let us support each other and impact the market place!!! =D

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Open our eyes!!!

“Could you please pass me a ketchup please”
Looking around, I replied, “sorry, there is non here”
My friend sitting beside me, reached out in front of me, took the ketchup that is right in front me and pass it to the lady that asked for it.

Busting out in laughter, I said, “I looked around but missed what is right in front of me”

Sometimes, in our busy schedule, we often overlook the simplest things in front of us. Some simple concepts that are known right from the beginning but ignored or forgotten till one day it strike us again.

Was in church the other day, a simple message was preached, “hear the cry of the hearts”. The sermon went on just like any other sermons. But then, a thought suddenly stroked me when she preached about “You are there because people are searching for God”, “You won’t hear the cry of people until you get near”… It caught me thinking that we often pray for the people far away, in my case, my friends that are so far away, I care about them more than the people right here, around my, that I met daily, that I am living with.

Am I getting too use to praying for my Christian friends that have their prayer needs written down and forgotten that I am to pray for those around me who need the prayers but did not ask verbally for it. It is logic that when we see a person in need, meet their needs. Therefore, when we see a person who needs prayer, pray for them. They might not know that you’re praying for them, they do not hear it but God certainly hears it.

How do we expect them to ask us to pray for them when they do not even believe that this God that we worship really exist? We have to wake up, be alert, on guard at all times.

We do not know how much time we have we these people that are placed in our mist. Not only the “good people” needs God. The people who are living a sinful lives are the ones that needs Him even more.

“The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” Matthew 9:37-38

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Living a luxuries budget life.

We need to get back

To the basics of life
A heart that is pure
And a love that is blind
A faith that is fervently
grounded in Christ
The hope that endures for all times
These are the basics,
we need to get back
To the basics of life
-the basics of life-

Its quite a common phrase when you hear people say, “ I do not have enough money to spend”. I for one certainly used that a couple of times before. But do I really have not enough to spend or I just want to spend more than I could afford? If I am really broke, I would eat only bread everyday. If I’m extremely broke, then I won’t be complaining even if the worst food is placed in front of me. If I am not doing that, that means that I would have enough to last me for the next day.

This is more for a student’s point of view, how to live with what we have. To live healthy life, of cos we need to exercise. Exercising here is rather cheap if you do not have any transport to bring you around. Basically, we walk to our destination. Not forgetting the extreme exercise of cycling uphill, a real challenge, at least for me. If you’re walking 15 minutes, its consider near, if about 25 minutes its ok, if 45 minutes, only then you can call it far. My daily exercise is walking for at least 1 hour per day.

There’s lots of good budget food over here. Breakfast is rather ordinary, just cereals with milk followed with some fruits. Maybe some healthy oats as well. Sandwish, puff, and maybe a some hot soup for lunch. But I love dinner!!! There’s just so much food, tried roast chicken, curry chicken, “pai gu tang- pork soup”, different types of vege, fruits and nice chocolates, noodles, etc.

Well, not to forget your tithes and offerings though. Give and it shall be given. Give out of love, give because we are blessed to be able to give. Give not because it’s a duty, but do it with great joy, appreciating His works and what the small amount of money mean to others.

It has been a month and a week since I got here. Time pass so fast over here. I learned a lot of new stuff around here, especially about ships. When I first started the engineering science, I thought the class was so boring, he’s still teaching what we learned in form 4. But when I started my tutorial questions, I took about 3 hours just to complete 6 suppose to be simple question, with help on others.

Humans are very interesting creatures, we tend to want more and more and more all the time. There’s no ending to the list of what we want. Not to say that it’s a bad thing to want more, but sometimes, we ought to pause and think and give thanks for the things that we have. How many people out there that do not have a proper roof over their head and we here are talking about buying all branded stuff?

Humans also have the ability to make the best out of even the simplest molecules. New things are invented on daily basis. If we are willing to improvise, make the best out of the simplest things that we have, we can live a happy life.

I see people with so much yet they still complain, and yet some with such minimal and are so grateful. Is this not a common paradox of life?

My mum thought me something last week. “the LAW of life” - “Love mercy, Act justly, and Walk humbly with Him”.

Micah 6:8 He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy And to walk humbly with your God.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

New Semester resolution

Many a times, God speak to us through different ways. I know people who have very clear purpose or calling in their life. But why am I only living every day as it is? They will say, my calling is in Malaysia, my calling is to care for the children, my calling is in India, China, this ministry, that ministry…
Am I just a blur lost person who do not know what is ahead of me?

Or do I choose to live in this “perfect world” of mine? Well, I choose to be happy, there are bumps here and there in our life. But I choose to give praise for the good and improve on the bad. Time flies, after we fall, get over it!!! Well, no one says its easy. We are overcomers aren’t we? We overcome what ever thing that is ahead, it may take quite a while, a year, 2, 3, or even 10 or even more than that. But we will overcome it someday, somehow or another.

But dwelling in our problems too long and not doing anything about it is certainly not the solution though.

I do the normal stuff Christians does, go to church, read the bible, pray, give my tithes and offering, serve other, etc… but why is it that other people have such clear calling and me, “just give your best in everything that you are doing - can that even be a calling?”
Maybe its like the story of the talent, if I am able to treasure and make the best out of all that I have, someday I might be able to do greater thing.

But well, maybe its just our perception of “GREAT things”. We need to understand that not everyone is like Billy Graham. Serving as an usher and service as the worship leader is also serving. Most of the time, its our thinking that “washing the cups after refreshment is a less good serving than preaching in front of a thousand people.” it’s the way that we do it that matters, out of love for God, love for man.

We know so many things but its hard to actually believe it. Sometimes, I might think that all these thoughts are just to comfort myself. Well, I need to be comfortable when I talk to God, after all, He’s my friend, the only friend that I bring around even when I leave everything else miles away, or the only friend that brings me around.

Its good that my library is about 20 minutes walk to my accommodation. I can listen to some sermons, chat with God, do some reflection, the coldness around here is kind of calming too.

People normally have their New year’s resolution. But well, here’s my October resolution, it shall continue till Christmas holidays.

October/ New semester resolution :
1. More God, less chatting online
2. More studying, less sleeping
3. More Healthy food, less salt and preserve food
4. More exercise, less bluring
5. More work, less complain

Something I find interesting on my stay here. “When people tries to annoy you but doesn’t succeed, they get more annoyed instead. How weird is that?” Well, for everyone’s info, I can sleep through noise quite well, and having music loud will not annoy me much (unless I am have headache).

Monday, October 13, 2008

New chapter of my life

Newcastle, the place where the wind blows when it blows no where else.

All the buildings look the same, the business selling paint will not be any good here. All the buildings are bricked wall, brown bricks, light brown, really light brown, dark brown, really dark brown, reddish.. Good thing about it is it looks nice, different, down side is, you’ll probably need more time to get use and recognize your way. I got lost about 3 times since I’ve been here. But am getting familiar and able to find my own class without any problem. =D

Some updates about me here is that I found a church, Jesmond Parish Church, with nice people, quite a number of Malaysians joining the church too. First trip out with them will be on the 1st and 2nd of November, will be going to the Scottish border. It’ll be fun. Its funny how God works. In KL, when the church is too big, I tend to go back to my Ipoh small church where everyone knows everyone, maybe God wants me to learn how things run when you’re handling a big bunch of people at that time, I learned much discipline, commitment, importance of sacrifice, fellowship, effort that you need to put in before you actually run an event. When I try to find a big church here, I end up in a smaller church, maybe God is teaching me to actually serve more, and learn more about humility. Well, I kind of prayed and told Him that I want to serve Him more, maybe that’s why the Hillsong Church is sooOOO far away now. The church here is so traditional, so different from what I imagined, but I guess God have a plan for me. If its not the right church for me, He’ll find a way to bring me away.

My classes, are pretty pack though, besides Wednesdays and Fridays, which leave us time for groceries and random activities. I got to know many people here, however, they drink most of the time (almost every night - maybe it’s the cold weather), smoke quite a bit, loves really really loud music and erm… maybe its too early for me to fix these characteristics on them. Who am I to judge anyway. Explanation from a kind friend though, “ this is the first time most of them leave home, got lost of freedom, no one to look after them, therefore…”

As for me, I normally hang out with this girl from Sarawak. Simple girl, easy going, nice, and the best thing is we can cook together (save money and good fellowship). The other regulars that I normally hang out with are the MISC gang, including some other seniors that I get to know thanks to the many HARI RAYA open house. Besides that, a few locals, but not so many at the mean time. But thanks to the church gathering, I’m able to find some others that don’t actually drink so much and have a normal Malaysian lifestyle.

About the course that I’m doing. I’m very privilege that I’m able to play with the biggest toy that man ever created, the ships… The engineering courses is rather a stranger to me at first. My classmates, mostly have worked or deal with ships before, loves the sea, have their yatch, parents or close family members handling with it. But as for me, this is my first time reading about a diesel engine, my first time learning the names of different part of the ship, first time seeing how the bottom of the ship is suppose to look like, etc… I take about one hour to digest 2 pages of work, while the rest know most of the things that the lecturer is talking about. My lecturer bought a turbocharger as decoration, I would rather go for a small pot of flower though.

Do I have enough money to spend here? Well, I bought quite a number of things here, but going slow, can’t spend too much at a time, must be accountable for it. Maybe I’m now having a little (but enough) to spend and when I actually can handle money wisely, maybe, perhaps my allowance can increase.

Still finding my way around, still looking for my purpose here, still finding the best places to shop… I actually miss my youth back in Ipoh, miss my family and friends. it’s a privilege that I can come this far, I should be able to make the best out of everything I have. I shall grow closer to God and rely on Him in everything I do. Different culture, different habits, different way of washing the dishes… Could this small size girl actually win some souls for Him here?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The world will not wait for us

How depressing is it that sometimes when we pray, and pray and pray, nothing happens. Well, we all know that maybe its not the time yet, maybe the answer is no, maybe it’s a test to build our character. But well, these answers can sometimes bring you down, way down.

Sometimes, we have a list of prayer items, when all things goes on well, we thank God, we give praises, we testify of His love and mercy. But when things turn bad, we ask, Lord, why, why, can You please reveal Your plans to me, can You just give me a glimpse of my future, can You please take me by the hand so that I won’t have to fall again. WHY ME?

Day and night we pray, and days after days, months after months, years after years, things just don’t turn out the way we want it to be. Is this an answer of no, this is not the way that you should be heading or is it just another test, testing our patience and developing perseverance and building our character?

I see people who love God, fails (or rather did not achieve what they want) one time after the other. Is it that the more you love God, the more testing you have to go through? If that is the case, just love moderately. But well, the prize is what we’ll receive in our eternal life. As the book Purpose Driven Life says, this life here on earth, its just a test. JUST A TEST, preparing us for our eternal life with God.

Sometimes, I just don’t understand. I cried, I laughed, I go blur, well, I can’t know for sure what is there before me, but to continue believe that God has plans all good things ahead of me.

The things that keep us going is knowing that “life goes on”, the world will not wait for you while you fail, it will not wait for you to recover from all your hurts, it is most unlikely to stop just because you are crying. Terrible huh, but that’s the truth about reality. Pick yourself up and get going, while you ponder on what hit you, the earth continues to spin.

The other thing, when I fail, the thing that gives me hope, is knowing that I can count on His promises when all else fails.

"Now I am about to go the way of all the earth. You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the LORD your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed.

Well, the Lord has made everything for his own purpose , and I am assured because God said that He will never leave me, never abandon me.

So many question, that we know the answers to each and everyone of it, but yet so hard to go through it.

Well, we still have to pray and believe that God knows best for all of us.

Friday, September 19, 2008

A Prayer From the HEART

This is written by someone I know, during a time when she is depress and confused. Not knowing what lies ahead. Soak in tears, this is what she wrote and told God.

Lord, Sovereign Lord,
You know I love You,
From the bottom of my heart.
Please Lord Groom me Lord.
I place my trust in You.
I know Lord You love me.
You heal the sick,
Heal the dead
I know You love me the same as you love Lazarus
I know I am Your creation.
I surrender all Lord to you.
Only you know my true heart.
I just want to glorify You Lord.
You hear my cries in the silence,
Much tears have been shared through this journey.
But Lord, please don’t let it end here.
You have given me much,
And I thank You for my that.
I read and hear much about You Lord
Please Lord, let me experience You for real.

All these waiting, all these testing,
Please grant me strength Lord.
For You alone understands my heart’s desire.
Thank you for the shoulder to cry on,
Thank you for all the encouraging people,
Lord, strengthen me Lord

May I not be a burden to anyone Lord,
Lord, as I seek and cry to You with all my heart,
Hear me O Lord.
Through this darkness, I know You’ll be my light.
I can turn to no one Lord but You.
Who knows what I really feel inside but You Lord?

Help me to understand this wonderful plan of Yours.
Lord, I may be strong in front of million,
But give me the strength to face myself
I do not expect anyone to understand,
For I myself do not understand
Please use me O Lord, as You desire,
But grant me also my heart’s desire as I cry out to You.

I’m ready to be obedient to You
For I know this is a form of worship
And I do want to glorify You
I do not want to stop praying Lord,
For I believe that you will hear and answer my prayers accordingly.
As I continue to walk this path,
May I be able to glorify You till my last breath.
Allow me to see the joy and peace Lord,
Through these trails and testing.
I proclaim that you are the Lord of my Life.
I need you Lord!
I need you!
I need You!
I love you Lord and I commit all, Lord into your hands.
Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;Praise Him, all creatures here below;Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Why are we here?

It is good to share God’s word to people. I actually learn more when I prepare the notes then when I actually attend some other talks.

Was sharing about “why are we here?” with the youths during the youth fellowship. Some of the points were like we are here to worship; we are here to fulfill the great commission etc. When it comes to a point where I was preparing, “we are here on this earth to Glorify God”. Looking back, I have many times failed at doing this.

Thinking back about my school days, my results fluctuate according to years. When I was young, my results are sort of good, till I was in standard 3. Then, it went real bad till I’m in form 3. Starting from form 4, my results slowly catch up. Not good yet, but slowly improving.

According to my performance, no one would think that I’ll even go to UK to further my studies. Ulu Klang maybe, but not United Kingdom.

But people are stubborn in many ways. So many times I fall, learned my lesson but still fall again. How could it be “learned my lesson” when nothing actually change? For example, I just completed my A LEVELS. I did miserably in my first exam. Then I resit for it and got a rather average score but am glad about it. Then coming to the last exam, I spent much time with my computer, resulting 2 months of worries about my results and finally when it came out, it was acceptable, but much worse than the other two person taking the same course, same scholarship as me. Come to think about it, I did not actually glorify God in that sense.

The last part when I was sharing, I told them they we need to change. For this, we have to first “sanctify” ourselves and then set our goals right. To sanctify, I need to repent, pray, have PURPOSE IN MY HEART, and have faith. God has brought me this far, I believe that He will bring to pass all good things that He has started. Furthermore, in setting our goals, we used the S.M.A.R.T. way. This is what I learned in my motivational camp. Our goals have to be Specific, Measurable, Action-plan, Realistic, and Time conscious. But recalling one of Pastor Kong Hee’s sermon, we Christians have God in us. Therefore, we have to be S.M.A.R.T.E.R. We have to have Expectation management and also Revelation.

Going into the new chapter of my life, far away from my family, there ought to be many changes in the way I handle things. I need to now plan financially, it’s not like in KL where I just call home when I do not have enough money. Well, the journey has already begun since I’m already starting to pack. To make it interesting, I think my Offer letter is lost in mailing, therefore, my Visa is not done yet. I need to reschedule and delay the plane. Addition to that, I now fly alone, without my scholar mates. With heavy luggage, big airports, my first transit, I need to find my way to Newcastle. No doubt with my blur face, I have God with me.

Its no use to not practice what I preach. As my fellow youths are changing, setting their mind on the right things to do, I too need to change and start performing.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

High School Musical on ice

We went for High School Musical on ice in Stadium Putra.
The tickets are supposed to be for all 5 of us. But then, last minute, my sis and my bro can’t make it, so left the 3 of us phus Ashvin and Khai Xhuen.

After the whole musical thing, Ashvin said, “I think I should go see the High School Musical movie.”

Well, the choreography was nice, based on the HSM movie. Was nice and the costumes are bright and shining. Despite some error here and there, the whole thing turned out to be very enjoyable.

Thank God for the fellowship that we had together.

Monday, August 11, 2008


Praise the LORD. The waiting time is finally over (for now). Waiting time is indeed a time that we learn to pray more, lean on God, learn more about Him, share more, cry more, etc…

Results are finally out!!! Praise the Lord, I’m going to UK, finally. (shouting, jumping up and down, bursting out in joy)

Let’s see what happened between after the exams and before the results are out.
1. Keeping myself pretty occupied, hoping that I won’t have time to think about it. (traveling around, covered : Kluang, Batu Pahat, PD, Kuantan, Kuching, Shah Alam, Melaka, etc… plus helping out at home)
2. It’s a forbidden thing to talk about the results. No questions, strictly for those who know me well enough. No talking about winter clothing, new stuff that you’ll need in UK, strictly no SHOPPING yet.
3. Praying, crying out, and weeping, for a miracle. I prayed, “God, if you don’t help me this time, no one can, I’m counting on you. I need a miracle.”
4. Don’t discuss much about being an Offshore Engineer. When people ask, “what are you doing now?” the answer was, “well, am just waiting for my results and will decide later.” Thinking in my mind, “please please please don’t ask anything further”
5. Got to meet up and made quite a number of friends, from all around.
6. Learned to be patience.
7. Learned to sleep through anything that comes our way, “pray, be still and fall asleep”
8. Watched almost all the movies in the cinema (English). Plus watched SHARK, Private Practice, Gossip girls, etc.
9. Manage to catch up with some readings.
10. Managing fear and worries, changing it into prayers, hard work, and self control skills.

Special thanks to those who have kept me in prayers.

“From the prophecies in the book of Zechariah, we are assured that He who has begun a good work in us will also finish it.”, “its not the end of the world”
Yeah, that’s how my mum comforts me.

Despite all the head knowledge about resting in the Lord, fear not, worry not, be still, don’t be anxious… well, I confess that many a times, I do all of the above.
It is not that easy for 2 and a half month to pass just like that. But God is always GOOD. He once again brought me through this “determining” period of my life.

For those who did better than me, praise the Lord. Keep it up. For those who are not satisfied, here’s something comforting and true. “well, not everyone who do well now do well in the later stage in their life, and not all who fails now are failures forever, things changes. Do not loose hope, have courage, continue praying.” His ways are beyong our thoughts.

Psalm 17:6
“I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer.”

Prayer, prayer, prayer and prayers... Remember, God is Good, all the time.!!!
Praise the LoRD and thank God for everything.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Thoughts of the day

Well, I went for Dark Knight again.

So, what did I learn this time? The ending speaks loud and clear. In this world, what we know might not be what really happened. What everyone believes is right might not be the right thing. What we see, we read, we hear, the version varies, building up the way it sounds nicest.

And I just learned from the series SHARK, “truth is relative”.

Dangerous huh…

Another thing that I learned about is, “be careful of who you’re talking to and what you’re talking about”
Today, this person might be your best friend, but the next day, he might be the one prosecuting you. We learned before this that “our dear values crumble under pressure”.

One mistake that we make can cause all the years of good work we have done. A little flaw in our action/words can be charged against us.

People can and may do anything to pursue their goals. The goals might be good and clear conscience, but the way they pursue it might not be.

Well, all these thoughts, too much law movies I guess… but well, we live in a real world.

Be in it and not of it.

Saturday, August 02, 2008


5 days in Kem Bumi Jati, Shah Alam, attending BTN(Biro TataNegara).

At first, the reasons that I attend it because it is COMPULSORY, plus, I need to keep myself occupied while waiting for my results. So, there I go, Hari’s dad fetch us there and Azeim’s mum got us back home.

A piece of advice from my mum before I went, “go with a positive attitude!”

So, yeah, I went with a positive advice, with little unwillingness.

My dorm is right next to the loud speaker. I jump right up the next morning hearing, “BANGUN BANGUN, SEMUA BANGUN”. Looking at my phone, its only 5.25am. ArggggGGHHH!!! But well, its not that bad waking up early in the morning, at least it is good for my health. But the loud speaker seems to have lesser effect as days pass. It is so easy for us to accommodate and get use to the surrounding. Asvin says, “when in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

161 of us scholars (MARA, KPM, PETRONAS, MISC…) together with our facilitators, trainers together, we completed the course.

In all things that we go through, there are good things and bad things. But well, it is all how we look at it.

What did I learn from this BTN?

The main focus are “PERKARA 153, PERKARA 14, PERKARA 10, PERKARA 181, PERKARA 5… etc.” Well, this is the head knowledge that I got. But then, what did I really see through this camp?

We can see how people think differently. Different people from different background, and different teachings have different thinking. The way we all look at the same thing might be different.

I also learned that we have to be well equip with general knowledge, and see the impact when people see things from only one angle. Well, if we only see things from one angle, it is “dangerous”.

Furthermore, I learned when to speak and when to listen first before speaking. And also if there is a need for us to speak.

This whole holiday, I learned that we need to pray, love, treasure, and defend my nation, my country. After the whole MYPG, 40 days praying and fasting for the nation, BTN, most of the things that I went through this whole holiday is about the importance of standing up for my nation.

Well, we are the child of God, we are here to love and pray as one. We are here for a reason, for a purpose.

Results are coming out soon!!! … -.-“

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Things we learn from movies


I’ve watched a couple of movies these few days. One of it is Batman(Dark Knight). Well, it’s a good movie, no doubt. Besides that i'm freezing in the cinema even with two huge guys beside me.

The part that amazed me the most is the part where the two ships are to blow up each other. (can’t say too much, better go watch it for your own.)

The thing that caught my attention the most is that when the convict took the remote control for the boom. Saying, “I’m now doing what you’re supposed to do 10 minutes ago.” I thought that he’s going to press the button and *BOOM*!!! but then, instead to my surprise, he threw it into the sea.

The action that he just did, how many ordinary people, well educated person, wealthy people can do the same?

Put myself in his shoes, well, I’m not sure what I would have done.

Another movie that I’ve just finished watching is TWO FOR THE MONEY.

The wife in the movie, her actions really touched me. She never gave up on her husband. He bet on her, he spoke to her rudely, he even did not trust her. She still cared for him more than herself. At the last part where she’s accuse of having an affair, she still told him this, “I’m not going to give up on you, NEVER!!!”

Having to live with such a person, how long can we hold on? But well, its commitment and the willingness to sacrifice that make her so wonderful.

In these two movies, we can see that people’s actions are unpredictable. And that no matter how good we think we are, when desperate time comes, can we still think logically according to our believes and the values that we set?

Is a PHD holder any better than a High school dropout when it comes to making certain decisions? We learn different stuff from different people. No matter how high we go, we ought to humble ourselves and respect others, and there are more things out there to learn from them that we cannot find in books.

A little update on the things that are happening around:
1. Has MYPG just ended? No, its just a new beginning!!! Next is held in Sabah.
2. 40 days fast and pray just started, time to put our nation in God’s hand.
3. Children’s Party is coming up, 16th August, all who are still children are invited.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Sarawak 2

Me kena tipu bila naik sampan

Me kena tipu bila beli barang

Next time mesti do research bila nak lawat lawat

Me likey this guy, very cooool, dun talk ge... hehehhe...

Monday, July 14, 2008


Am at Sarawak with my bro

and LianCy

and her family

comp lagging, blog next time =D
Peace Out

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Biggest Hypocrite Award


Some reflection on what I’ve learned from Soaring the Eagle Camp.
Well, this is not the title of this activity, but it certainly have to do with it. We are given a situation. You have a beautiful wife, 2 pretty daughters and 1 extremely handsome boy. However, they like shopping and you can’t bare not to give them any money when they ask from you. So one day, you borrowed RM 3000 from Ah Loong (loan shark), and have to pay back in two weeks time.
Then the payment day came. You went to the bank only to find your balance is not enough to pay back. Then immediately after that, you received a phone call from the Ah Loong saying that he’ll be in your house with his gang in 15 minutes time and you are warned that things might not be pretty if you do not have the money with you.
Then you looked around, you saw an old man, dropped an envelope on the ground after taking some money from the ATM nearby. You wanted to call out to him but he went on a bike and went off before you can call out to him. You went and pick up the form only to find that there is exactly RM3000 in it. There is no name and no address and no numbers on the envelope. There was no way to trace back the old man.

Each team is to put up a sketch showing that whether you will take the money or not in the end.

(what our team acted was that if he did not take the money, the wife and daughters will be raped, and the son’s fingers will be chopped off one by one. But if he took the money, they will continue to have one happy family)

Lesson learned is that YOUR VALUED PRINCIPLES WILL CRUMBLE UNDER PRESSURE. There were so much talking about integrity from the starting of the camp, only to decide in the end that we will take the money when we’re in desperate measures.

On the other hand, we have to look at this in all directions. We always think of our own consequences, well being of those who are involved, how would people view us of the decisions we make. But have we wondered what God’s view is? Might it be a test of your faith? We all know that God will not test us more than what we can take.

If we take the money, it will be contradicting to what we have learned, preached, and practice all the days of our life. We don’t talk about paying back for what we have done wrong, if all sins can be paid in monetary form, there won’t be the need of grace and cries for forgiveness. If we can just pay back for what we have done wrong, then it is a clear ticket for sinning and paying back later. In that case, it is ok to kill, and then justify yourself that you can repay for what you have done wrong.

We need not justify our actions. If we took the money, our faith is very much broken. It is the same as when we take bribe to feed our family. This is non-halal money. A sin is a sin, you don’t justify it with excuses and the fruits that you can get out of that one little sin.

Yes, of course we have to live with the consequences of the wives being rape and the son beheaded. It will not be easy, but if you give in and say it is ok to take the money, then those that you thought, those you are with will all together lose faith and turn away from the God of justice, God of truth, God of love, God that they trust the God that you have been teaching, learning and believing all these while. Till the end of days, when you see God face to face and when he asked you about why did you denied your faith at that moment, are you going to stand in front of Him and justify yourself?

If we look in-depth into the situation, if we are trying to justify our actions with the people in the quran and the bible or any other religious teaching, they did so and then asked for forgiveness and repented, of course they are forgiven and their sins are washed away. But how many other believers will you cause to stumble? Are we teaching them that it is alright to sin first when we are desperate and then come and repent later?

Why teach all the right things and not practice it ultimately. We can clearly see that living by faith, people will prosper. But we also see those who are persecuted, whose families are tortured, those who loose every earthly thing that they ever valued.

If we can pay back our sins, then what is the use of the millions good thing that we are teaching about?

It is a hard decision “reality vs godliness”

Who are we serving? Who are we living for in the end? For ourselves, for those we care for, for our friends or for God?

When the end of days come, it will not be easy, many will give in and stumble. I know it is easier said than done, but in the end, will I continue to stand for what I believe in or will I do wrong and justify myself later? I cannot guarantee that I will stand firm but by the grace of God, I shall stand by His side and fight for Him, living a godly life.

About the sketch, after much consideration and thoughts, I somehow got a revelation from a friend with good explanation that we should not have taken the money.
If we put the light of God into the picture, think of who we are ultimately serving, look at the end picture, knowing that right is right and wrong is wrong.

This is very debatable and are we looking from earthly view, “ we’re doing for the benefit of many” of are we looking from God’s point of view?

* We know that it is not a blessing from God when we see the money because God will not cause someone to loose something for your gain.

I failed big time, failed to stand for what I’ve believed in so far. Failed to live in faith. If this is an award giving ceremony, I shall be getting the “biggest hypocrite” award. I solute Assurl, a muslim in my class that stands for what is right in the eye of God. He is among the odds but did not give in; he did not justify himself and is viewed as a guy who made the wrong decision. But in the end, who are those who made the wrong decision?

Our principles that are set based on the word of God. How far are we willing to stand up for it? NO COMPROMISING, JUST DO IT.

Question is, who are we living for and do we practice what we preach. May it be the smallest decisions in our life, may we do everything for the glory of our Lord.

Filled with conviction, I hope its not too late to change our mind set on “what grounds are we standing for?”, and “how far can we go on carrying the light of Christ with us.”

Am I trying to be super spiritual? No, I’m just a little girl trying my best to follow my God, trying to make the right decisions based on the right source.

What we decide on can see how much we really love God and how close we are to Him.

*Thanks JIT for laying down the right foundation for this case. My coming here is not such a waste and buat kacau after all, and thanks to the facilitator who show us the reality of the world out there.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Soaring the Eagle

All good things must come to an end. Having fun with Nadya, Nanu, Mira and LianCy, eating lots of Dominos and playing some card games back at Ridzuan. Time went by just like that. Then, it was time to pack for camp.

Well, it was really fun in the SOARING THE EAGLE camp. It was compulsory, but after stepping foot into KLCC, thought came “lets just enjoy it.” Yeah, so, that’s about it.

We gathered at KLCC, thanks to Azeim’s mum that fetched us to Kelana Jaya with the overweight luggage. From then, we went together, Asvin, Amir, Azeim and I.

There weren’t much the first day, but I meet a very dear Indon girl. DIBY!!! Yeah, that’s her name. She wakes up earlier than me every single day take her bath and will wait for this sleepy head to wake up. Admire her always positive attitude.

Well, entering the class, so many unfamiliar faces, then news came that we’re going to combine with Samba 3. First thing came into my mind was ASVIN, yeah, with her around; I can feel free to be louder. Hahaa..

Then, we got into our respective groups.
Here are our members :

First is Ashvin, the guy that is 186cm tall, man of few words. Got to know him more after finding out that he brought cards to the camp. Well, its amazing how we remember people in different ways. Well, he’s tall, very tall and of cos friendly as well.

Secondly, Jojo, the Artist in the group. Much credit have to be given to her for all the amazing drawings on all our presentation. A very bubbly girl that cheers your day up.

Thirdly, Ali aka Ryan.C - , the host of the “American Idol”. Extremely thin guy that I think is very much lighter than me. A smoker that runs like the wind during sports.

Then came Ainaa, the gentle soul. The way she approaches people is very calming, got to know her more during the walk by the beach at night. Btw, she’s also my housemate. =D

Besides that, there’s Toh, very fair guy, with funny personality. Easy to get along with and doesn’t complain much, he’s ok with most of the decisions the group make.

Followed by Fatin, our AMERICAN IDOL winner, stunning voice and good showmanship. Good when playing Bola Jaring, but sprained the ankle while playing with ganas people like me.

Azli, the guy who doesn’t talk to me much for the pass two years but amazing spoke quite a lot to me during the camp. Well, what can I say, this camp works wonders. But then Azli, I found a guy prettier than you in the camp(pretty boy – Faizi)

Fazreen, the forever cool guy that goes about things slowly and is extremely calm. The guy who can’t detect my voice and loves to play winning eleven.

Last but not least in the group is this small little girl who is bloggig.

Really happy to be in this group. A combination of different talent, different personalities and so time consuming, but it still manage to bring the best out of eack and everyone there.

Well, this camp is really BLASTING, its more than what I can imagine. Got to know lots of great people around. Shared some laughter, cry, shouts, and bunch of fun.

There were too many things happening in the camp that is indescribable. Too many details and too many people to thank.

Learned much from my facilitators and these fellow amazing friends.

Shall be blogging more when I get the time and also internet connection. Thanks so much guys, you all really made this a memorable camp and well, friendships starts with a spark but time will definitely turn us into fiery burning flame that will last.

And our war cry created by Ali, Jojo and Ash, shouted be all :

I say burgh!
Its cool in here I feel Syntium’s Spirit in the atmosphere,
I say ayeyaeyya..ah..
I say ooh..ahh (x3)

Here are some of the sports photos :

And some Casa Racardo food :

Shared some waiting time together :

Miss you all, do keep in touch. Thank you all for the wonderful experience!!!

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Malaysian Youth Prayer Gathering

Its amazing to see that people of small places having big vision for the greater tomorrow of the nation.

The effort put in by the youths, making the posters, designing the T-shirts, making badges for fund raising, organizing the whole event, looking forward for the day where we can come together from different parts of Malaysia to pray for the betterment of the country, this is really amazing and exciting.

For those who wish to come together to pray for Malaysia, are all welcome. It’ll be held in KLUANG, 19th July, 8am till 8pm.

For more info, check it out at the MYPG page.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Give Thanks

Thanksgiving is coming, well, I do not know the date for thanks giving. Is it during Christmas eve? Because that is the time they eat the turkey. Well, after google-ing, I found out that it falls on November 27, 2008 in USA; October 13, 2008 in Canada, it is also the harvest festival for some of the natives.

Well, if thanksgiving is the only day that we give thanks, then everyday day is thanksgiving. If that is the case, then everyday is a holiday!!! We ought to give thanks for everything that we have, every single day that we been through, may it be a happy day for us or otherwise, every breath that we take. It doesn’t mean that its turkey everyday though.

My family is very much thankful and grateful for the abundance blessings that have been shown. And that we can still come as one family to give thanks and to praise Him despite all the challenges we’ve been through. We’re having “thanksgiving” in church this weekend. Well, we’re Chinese, so we’re not having turkey, instead, we’re having 烧猪, yup, roast pork. Besides that, we’re having a little “family presentation”, singing “Just Let Me Say” and “耶稣爱你”.

All who wants to share this joy are invited to Pengkalan Church, Sunday evening. =D

Besides that, Saturday will be my first time officially sharing with the youths. "Living a Life Without Compromise". Well, indeed I went for the camp, but i will not be talking much about compromising while choosing your life partner. “BGR is for young adults, teenagers, focus on your studies!!! Or at least till you finish your Pre-U.” yup, that’s what I learned recently too. I’ll be touching 3 sub topics though - compromising in school, in church and in the outside world.
While preparing for it, I realized that I am in no position to tell them anything about compromising. For I am one that compromises a lot, well, I always thought that in that way, life will be much easier, I’ll offend less people. But well, we have to set our principles right. One verse that struck me is Luke 6:46 “Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?”

I need to put my head knowledge into practice. And stop being the world’s number 1 hypocrite.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Choosen Generation

CAL is finally over. 2 years of it, as if I grew old in Taylors College. Well, whether it is worth it or not, we’ll find out on the 10th of August. For now, there are much more ahead.

Well, I went for the first ever GEPC Young Adults Retreat. Okie, initial reason why I went for this camp is because it is an instant ticket out of Subang. Tried to find people to accompany me for this camp, but at last, my very own sister came along with me. I realize that I always get involved in things for the wrong purpose. Second reason why I joined this camp is - “better set myself right at the start of this 3 months holiday”. I wasted a lot of my time in my previous holidays, well, hopefully this one will not be added into the “a waste of time collection”.

No matter what my purposes are, eventually, God has His own set of different purpose for me. He showed me my purpose there. Well, not that I saw a vision or had any dreams about it. It is more of a “wake up call”. This is the most relaxing camp that I even attended. Not much activity were prepared, well, I reached at about 10 pm on Friday while the camp started at 12noon. So I pretty much skipped the Briefing, Ice breaker, Worship for the first day… but I came in time for the first session, even though I was a late.

There were all in all 3 sessions plus a bonus session. First message was Living the Life Without Compromise, Second message was Living the Life at Workplace, and the most interesting for me is the 3rd message, Living the Life in the Last Days. The messages are mostly based on the Book of Daniel, plus Revelation 13. (too long a message to blog it all out.) The Bonus Session is more of finding your right partner in life – Set some principles in your love life. Eg ; Guy must initiate, your family in-laws…

But well, we ought to learn something in anything that we get involved in. Different people get different revelation from our input. After listening to the intellectual speeches, I realized that my general knowledge is shallow, extremely shallow. I look at things only at the surface, focus on the things that are not important in life. Well, not that I do not read, I follow TIMES, Newsweek, National Geographic… Well, I’m not much of a newspaper person, but things ought to change though.

For this holidays, my schedule is up till 19th of July – the important and significant day, “youth praying for the nation, going to be held in Kluang, Johor, from 8am till 8pm.”

Of course the first week of the holidays, spending time with family, followed by a whole week in Johor, and the next in PD, back to Johor, then Sarawak, then Johor again. Might be stopping in KL in between trips. Well, we plan but God decides.

I need to read more this holiday. Well, trying to finish the book that I started a long long time ago, “why does God allow suffering”. Followed by a The Age Of Turbulence, by Alan Greenspan, well, it’s a very very thick book. But the most important book to finish is my bible. Well, to tell the truth, I haven’t finished the whole bible from cover to cover. Ashamed by it, but that is the truth. What a big hypocrite, telling people about my God when I hardly know Him personally. Well, I realized that I read the book of James, Daniel quite a number of times, but there are some books in the bible that I never finish reading.

Some other things that I HOPE to achieve during this holidays are learning a bit about video editing, cooking, photography, yeah, that’s about it for now.

To Asvin : I watched gossip girls, a bit here and there. Well, its more of your movie, not my type. Hehhehe… I like the way they dress up though. =D

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
1 Peter 2:9

Thursday, June 12, 2008

HaPpy BdaY tO AgNes

This post in specially dedicated to Agnes Koh!!!
Our beloved housemate, who is often stress because of exams, study non-stop…

These are some of usual phrase :

“Zen De Ma – (really ar?)”
“Good good, very good!!!”
“Wo gen in jiang ar – (let me tell you)”
“My goodness-y – (Oh, my goodness)”

Mocha - clocolate cake

Happy g@l with her cake and fav kaya banana dessert

Food for all

Our housemates plus Michelle who is in the photo, MIA

Little girl growing up, tomorrow finishing her first Sem exams.

Dun see her small small, growing up to be a lady soon liao, going to STRAIGHTEN HER HAIR tomorrow, shopping and makan makan!!!

Really blessed with all these “crazy crazy” housemates.

*yeah, tomorrow last day of exams liao for me too... after that go makan and straight to camp!!! =D