Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Communicating, not talking

Having been missing in action for quite sometime now, I am now actually in London. I could have go to many other places for my holidays, but why London? I came here to be recharge spiritually. Staying with a friend that is after God’s heart, meeting people that are on fire for God, getting new ideas of people’s view of life.

There are a few things that affect my decisions in life since my stay here. I have decided on which church to go to, what to pray about and also getting closer to God, spending more quality time with Him.

I have heard many testimonies about prayer moving God’s hand. Very encouraged after each sermon and testimony about it. Uncountable times since was still a young kid. But I have been praying for a long time now, but quite inconsistent. Was i just talking and not listening? After coming to the UK, I have a room to myself, more time for myself, more thoughts of my own. Deciding that I would have consistent quite time with God(and actually connecting with Him) is one of the decision that I have made and am proud about it. From 10 minutes to 20 minutes to half an hour. It is not about the minutes, it is the quality time spent with Him. Sometimes when we are connected, time just pass by so quickly without us realizing it.

Human are like learning machines. Every time I read the bible, it now seems that God is talking to me in a different way. Revealing more and more to me. Only before my holidays, I was asking God to talk to me, why have I been praying for so long and not hearing His voice personally? Talk to me if you’re really there I said. After a few weeks of telling God that, a thought just came, “have not what I have done in your life speaking on behalf of me already?” Thinking of that, I wept and wept, knowing that God has indeed done wonders in my life, in my family, in my friends. Sometimes, God speak not in the way that we expect Him to. Just as Jesus coming to the earth was not the way we expect a king to come, but when we look at situation from a different point of view, we will be able to understand it. Having so many miracles in my life, the people that God bring into my life to grow closer to Him, He is indeed communicating with me in actions rather than words.

God have been revealing so many ideas to me in my life, changing my thoughts, my behaviors, my actions, I am truly not the same person that I used to be. Surely many of my characteristics are pretty much the same, but my thinking really changed. The reasons why I do things changed. My mum have always told us to be ambassadors for Christ. For the pass 20 years, only now I understand what it truly means. Not fully yet, but i am able to understand more of it now. Such an easy philosophy, just a few words, yet it took me such a long time to digest it. I used to think that I know quite a lot, but as I listen to more when others speak, I realized that my knowledge is so so so shallow.

God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow. But to be more and more like Him, we cannot remain at the same level of understanding yesterday today and tomorrow. We need to improve from yesterday and more today and even more tomorrow.

Just talking to God verbally and actually being in the presence of God is so different. I used to just talk to God, but as I grow and learn, I am now learning to communicate with God. There are so much that I do not understand, but with faith, I know that God is slowly drawing me closer to Him.