Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The world will not wait for us

How depressing is it that sometimes when we pray, and pray and pray, nothing happens. Well, we all know that maybe its not the time yet, maybe the answer is no, maybe it’s a test to build our character. But well, these answers can sometimes bring you down, way down.

Sometimes, we have a list of prayer items, when all things goes on well, we thank God, we give praises, we testify of His love and mercy. But when things turn bad, we ask, Lord, why, why, can You please reveal Your plans to me, can You just give me a glimpse of my future, can You please take me by the hand so that I won’t have to fall again. WHY ME?

Day and night we pray, and days after days, months after months, years after years, things just don’t turn out the way we want it to be. Is this an answer of no, this is not the way that you should be heading or is it just another test, testing our patience and developing perseverance and building our character?

I see people who love God, fails (or rather did not achieve what they want) one time after the other. Is it that the more you love God, the more testing you have to go through? If that is the case, just love moderately. But well, the prize is what we’ll receive in our eternal life. As the book Purpose Driven Life says, this life here on earth, its just a test. JUST A TEST, preparing us for our eternal life with God.

Sometimes, I just don’t understand. I cried, I laughed, I go blur, well, I can’t know for sure what is there before me, but to continue believe that God has plans all good things ahead of me.

The things that keep us going is knowing that “life goes on”, the world will not wait for you while you fail, it will not wait for you to recover from all your hurts, it is most unlikely to stop just because you are crying. Terrible huh, but that’s the truth about reality. Pick yourself up and get going, while you ponder on what hit you, the earth continues to spin.

The other thing, when I fail, the thing that gives me hope, is knowing that I can count on His promises when all else fails.

"Now I am about to go the way of all the earth. You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the LORD your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed.

Well, the Lord has made everything for his own purpose , and I am assured because God said that He will never leave me, never abandon me.

So many question, that we know the answers to each and everyone of it, but yet so hard to go through it.

Well, we still have to pray and believe that God knows best for all of us.

Friday, September 19, 2008

A Prayer From the HEART

This is written by someone I know, during a time when she is depress and confused. Not knowing what lies ahead. Soak in tears, this is what she wrote and told God.

Lord, Sovereign Lord,
You know I love You,
From the bottom of my heart.
Please Lord Groom me Lord.
I place my trust in You.
I know Lord You love me.
You heal the sick,
Heal the dead
I know You love me the same as you love Lazarus
I know I am Your creation.
I surrender all Lord to you.
Only you know my true heart.
I just want to glorify You Lord.
You hear my cries in the silence,
Much tears have been shared through this journey.
But Lord, please don’t let it end here.
You have given me much,
And I thank You for my that.
I read and hear much about You Lord
Please Lord, let me experience You for real.

All these waiting, all these testing,
Please grant me strength Lord.
For You alone understands my heart’s desire.
Thank you for the shoulder to cry on,
Thank you for all the encouraging people,
Lord, strengthen me Lord

May I not be a burden to anyone Lord,
Lord, as I seek and cry to You with all my heart,
Hear me O Lord.
Through this darkness, I know You’ll be my light.
I can turn to no one Lord but You.
Who knows what I really feel inside but You Lord?

Help me to understand this wonderful plan of Yours.
Lord, I may be strong in front of million,
But give me the strength to face myself
I do not expect anyone to understand,
For I myself do not understand
Please use me O Lord, as You desire,
But grant me also my heart’s desire as I cry out to You.

I’m ready to be obedient to You
For I know this is a form of worship
And I do want to glorify You
I do not want to stop praying Lord,
For I believe that you will hear and answer my prayers accordingly.
As I continue to walk this path,
May I be able to glorify You till my last breath.
Allow me to see the joy and peace Lord,
Through these trails and testing.
I proclaim that you are the Lord of my Life.
I need you Lord!
I need you!
I need You!
I love you Lord and I commit all, Lord into your hands.
Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;Praise Him, all creatures here below;Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Why are we here?

It is good to share God’s word to people. I actually learn more when I prepare the notes then when I actually attend some other talks.

Was sharing about “why are we here?” with the youths during the youth fellowship. Some of the points were like we are here to worship; we are here to fulfill the great commission etc. When it comes to a point where I was preparing, “we are here on this earth to Glorify God”. Looking back, I have many times failed at doing this.

Thinking back about my school days, my results fluctuate according to years. When I was young, my results are sort of good, till I was in standard 3. Then, it went real bad till I’m in form 3. Starting from form 4, my results slowly catch up. Not good yet, but slowly improving.

According to my performance, no one would think that I’ll even go to UK to further my studies. Ulu Klang maybe, but not United Kingdom.

But people are stubborn in many ways. So many times I fall, learned my lesson but still fall again. How could it be “learned my lesson” when nothing actually change? For example, I just completed my A LEVELS. I did miserably in my first exam. Then I resit for it and got a rather average score but am glad about it. Then coming to the last exam, I spent much time with my computer, resulting 2 months of worries about my results and finally when it came out, it was acceptable, but much worse than the other two person taking the same course, same scholarship as me. Come to think about it, I did not actually glorify God in that sense.

The last part when I was sharing, I told them they we need to change. For this, we have to first “sanctify” ourselves and then set our goals right. To sanctify, I need to repent, pray, have PURPOSE IN MY HEART, and have faith. God has brought me this far, I believe that He will bring to pass all good things that He has started. Furthermore, in setting our goals, we used the S.M.A.R.T. way. This is what I learned in my motivational camp. Our goals have to be Specific, Measurable, Action-plan, Realistic, and Time conscious. But recalling one of Pastor Kong Hee’s sermon, we Christians have God in us. Therefore, we have to be S.M.A.R.T.E.R. We have to have Expectation management and also Revelation.

Going into the new chapter of my life, far away from my family, there ought to be many changes in the way I handle things. I need to now plan financially, it’s not like in KL where I just call home when I do not have enough money. Well, the journey has already begun since I’m already starting to pack. To make it interesting, I think my Offer letter is lost in mailing, therefore, my Visa is not done yet. I need to reschedule and delay the plane. Addition to that, I now fly alone, without my scholar mates. With heavy luggage, big airports, my first transit, I need to find my way to Newcastle. No doubt with my blur face, I have God with me.

Its no use to not practice what I preach. As my fellow youths are changing, setting their mind on the right things to do, I too need to change and start performing.