Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Many a times, God speak to us through different ways. I know people who have very clear purpose or calling in their life. But why am I only living every day as it is? They will say, my calling is in Malaysia, my calling is to care for the children, my calling is in India, China, this ministry, that ministry…
Am I just a blur lost person who do not know what is ahead of me?
Or do I choose to live in this “perfect world” of mine? Well, I choose to be happy, there are bumps here and there in our life. But I choose to give praise for the good and improve on the bad. Time flies, after we fall, get over it!!! Well, no one says its easy. We are overcomers aren’t we? We overcome what ever thing that is ahead, it may take quite a while, a year, 2, 3, or even 10 or even more than that. But we will overcome it someday, somehow or another.
But dwelling in our problems too long and not doing anything about it is certainly not the solution though.
I do the normal stuff Christians does, go to church, read the bible, pray, give my tithes and offering, serve other, etc… but why is it that other people have such clear calling and me, “just give your best in everything that you are doing - can that even be a calling?”
Maybe its like the story of the talent, if I am able to treasure and make the best out of all that I have, someday I might be able to do greater thing.
But well, maybe its just our perception of “GREAT things”. We need to understand that not everyone is like Billy Graham. Serving as an usher and service as the worship leader is also serving. Most of the time, its our thinking that “washing the cups after refreshment is a less good serving than preaching in front of a thousand people.” it’s the way that we do it that matters, out of love for God, love for man.
We know so many things but its hard to actually believe it. Sometimes, I might think that all these thoughts are just to comfort myself. Well, I need to be comfortable when I talk to God, after all, He’s my friend, the only friend that I bring around even when I leave everything else miles away, or the only friend that brings me around.
Its good that my library is about 20 minutes walk to my accommodation. I can listen to some sermons, chat with God, do some reflection, the coldness around here is kind of calming too.
People normally have their New year’s resolution. But well, here’s my October resolution, it shall continue till Christmas holidays.
October/ New semester resolution :
1. More God, less chatting online
2. More studying, less sleeping
3. More Healthy food, less salt and preserve food
4. More exercise, less bluring
5. More work, less complain
Something I find interesting on my stay here. “When people tries to annoy you but doesn’t succeed, they get more annoyed instead. How weird is that?” Well, for everyone’s info, I can sleep through noise quite well, and having music loud will not annoy me much (unless I am have headache).
Monday, October 13, 2008
Newcastle, the place where the wind blows when it blows no where else.
All the buildings look the same, the business selling paint will not be any good here. All the buildings are bricked wall, brown bricks, light brown, really light brown, dark brown, really dark brown, reddish.. Good thing about it is it looks nice, different, down side is, you’ll probably need more time to get use and recognize your way. I got lost about 3 times since I’ve been here. But am getting familiar and able to find my own class without any problem. =D
Some updates about me here is that I found a church, Jesmond Parish Church, with nice people, quite a number of Malaysians joining the church too. First trip out with them will be on the 1st and 2nd of November, will be going to the Scottish border. It’ll be fun. Its funny how God works. In KL, when the church is too big, I tend to go back to my Ipoh small church where everyone knows everyone, maybe God wants me to learn how things run when you’re handling a big bunch of people at that time, I learned much discipline, commitment, importance of sacrifice, fellowship, effort that you need to put in before you actually run an event. When I try to find a big church here, I end up in a smaller church, maybe God is teaching me to actually serve more, and learn more about humility. Well, I kind of prayed and told Him that I want to serve Him more, maybe that’s why the Hillsong Church is sooOOO far away now. The church here is so traditional, so different from what I imagined, but I guess God have a plan for me. If its not the right church for me, He’ll find a way to bring me away.
My classes, are pretty pack though, besides Wednesdays and Fridays, which leave us time for groceries and random activities. I got to know many people here, however, they drink most of the time (almost every night - maybe it’s the cold weather), smoke quite a bit, loves really really loud music and erm… maybe its too early for me to fix these characteristics on them. Who am I to judge anyway. Explanation from a kind friend though, “ this is the first time most of them leave home, got lost of freedom, no one to look after them, therefore…”
As for me, I normally hang out with this girl from Sarawak. Simple girl, easy going, nice, and the best thing is we can cook together (save money and good fellowship). The other regulars that I normally hang out with are the MISC gang, including some other seniors that I get to know thanks to the many HARI RAYA open house. Besides that, a few locals, but not so many at the mean time. But thanks to the church gathering, I’m able to find some others that don’t actually drink so much and have a normal Malaysian lifestyle.
About the course that I’m doing. I’m very privilege that I’m able to play with the biggest toy that man ever created, the ships… The engineering courses is rather a stranger to me at first. My classmates, mostly have worked or deal with ships before, loves the sea, have their yatch, parents or close family members handling with it. But as for me, this is my first time reading about a diesel engine, my first time learning the names of different part of the ship, first time seeing how the bottom of the ship is suppose to look like, etc… I take about one hour to digest 2 pages of work, while the rest know most of the things that the lecturer is talking about. My lecturer bought a turbocharger as decoration, I would rather go for a small pot of flower though.
Do I have enough money to spend here? Well, I bought quite a number of things here, but going slow, can’t spend too much at a time, must be accountable for it. Maybe I’m now having a little (but enough) to spend and when I actually can handle money wisely, maybe, perhaps my allowance can increase.
Still finding my way around, still looking for my purpose here, still finding the best places to shop… I actually miss my youth back in Ipoh, miss my family and friends. it’s a privilege that I can come this far, I should be able to make the best out of everything I have. I shall grow closer to God and rely on Him in everything I do. Different culture, different habits, different way of washing the dishes… Could this small size girl actually win some souls for Him here?