Monday, October 15, 2007
Morning Prayer Group
This is my college’s lovely prayer group. I have been part of it since I came to college. Started as a very small group behind the cafeteria and then later on towards the end of 2006, we found out that there is another group gathered at SAM’s garden. Merging the prayer group made it much bigger. =D
I’ve been consistent for quite some time but was missing in action for a few months, about July till early Sept. But in the mid of September, something keeps on bugging me… there’s like a voice in my head or maybe its my conscience… but it is sure a good one. It brought me back to prayer group. Explaining why I stop going, I can’t really explain it too. Too many things came crashing at my doorstep. Only a few tend to be able to see it though. Maybe I build the wall too high, maybe I just don’t want them to worry, maybe I just feel safer when I handle things my way, or even maybe I just like to keep it to myself.
I soon came to realize that it is not about me. It is about the testimony that I’ll be. It’s about if I can glorify His name with my actions. I realized that getting too used to the surrounding might not be a good thing. We might be standing there serving, but is our heart really there? Many times we need to evaluate ourselves. Are we doing for the right purpose? Is it right in the eyes of God? Or am I doing it because of the sense of duty? Is smiling outside means that we are alright in the inside? I always feel better after a long long time of prayer. Come humbly before the Lord is very important. Just pouring out everything to Him. Its hard to stand up alone. But sometimes, when we are alone only then we can see the whole picture. We can see what went wrong. But He is always watching over us. Every time when I feel like a failure, I know that he will lift me up again.
There were too many things on my mind. But I just realized that the more we try to take control, the more it will add to our burden. The harder we try, the more complicated it feels. I know that He has a plan for me, a plan even beyond my imagination. Maybe for certain things, it is better for me not think about it, He will provide when the time is right. Maybe for certain things I need to put in more effort. Maybe for certain things I need to spend more time doing it.
Many people see the surface of things. But I know that He sees the inside.
1 My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.