Resting in the STORM

The Power of Gossips

2009-09-19T07:30:00.003+08:00

Gossips have been a hot topic early a few years. People hear it over and over again about the harm and injustice that it can bring. Yet, we still hear it on a day to day basis, sometimes even through our own mouth. The power of gossip is much greater than we think. It breaks relationships, trust; put people in hard situations, placing one in the situation that might not even be created without the slightest gossip. The more we practice it, the greater the power of gossip will grow. However, conscious or unconscious, a gossip is a gossip.

One last good lesson that I learned in Malaysia just before I came back is that we need to be frank to people. Be frank with LOVE. And we, the one who is listening, listen with an open heart. How important is this theory to avoid much misunderstanding and complication among friends, community and nations.

I also learned that even if people do not listen to our opinion and what we have to say, we cannot force our idea on them. It is of their choice to follow no matter how good we think our methods are, they are still greater thinker out there.
Let us come together and practice the power of encouragement instead of the power of gossip. See the difference that it brings to ourselves and those who are around us.

Our lips is a powerful weapon that may do much and also much harm. May we choose wisely which is it we want and may God continue to use our lips to be a blessing to Him and to others.

-.-

2009-03-27T04:52:00.003+08:00

Taking a break, refocusing.

The truth and makes us better

2009-03-08T05:27:00.002+08:00

It has been really busy this year, but its all good!!! Out of this busy period, when we sit down and think, and reflect the things that has happened, only then we realize how much we have learned, how much we have changed and how much we have missed.

But God is always very good, He is always there in the mist of our busyness, reminding us that He cares, that He is listening, that He is still in control and He will strengthen you no matter how tough the situation seems. He send people to check out on you, send people to encourage and send people to just have fun with you.

We can see that sometimes, when one person complain, the other people around might agree and a small thing might seem so hard to achieve or the situation is made worse because of the way we look at it. My mum never encourage us to complain, in fact she thought us how to overcome things. For example, when we complain about how hard the assignment and how hard the things that we are going through, she will remind us that we are not the only ones who are going through this phase, many have done it and many has overcome it. We have an extra helper on this earth, the Holy Spirit will be there to help us as well. All things are possible. Telling us the truth about reality (stop complaining, you are not the only one that is facing it) allows us to make a difference and look at things from a different point of view.

I never really liked to read when I do not understand something. I know that I can still get things done by people explaining to me, by people doing it for me. I know that no matter how many times I ask, they will pity this little person and will spend the time explaining patiently. My brother is a fast learner and he likes to read and learn things on his own. One day, my brother just decided not to help me out with the computer and asked me to read for myself and do it. READ IT, DON’T BE LAZY, ITS SIMPLE. I started reading, and solving my own problems. Just a simple truth, of “don’t be lazy”, I now read first before I do something, if I really don’t understand, only then I’ll ask people.

I have this friend that says whatever he sees, many times, people who does not know him gets offended. But what he speaks of is the truth. I realized that I am putting on weight since I first got to UK, but people around just say that its alright, you still have room or they say its alright, that’s what normally happen when people come to UK. I really appreciate this comfort, I do. This particular person, when he notice the change, he just said, “you’re getting fatter, go exercise!!!”. And yes, a simple truth can change the way that we eat, the way that we live our lives.

Sometimes, when we get too involved in church, our life sort of revolved around it rather than God himself. When we serve, we might unconsciously try to please our members rather than God. We dedicate our time, our effort, all we have into this place and losing the focus of our purpose. I know that we still love God and still want to continue to serve Him. But we are the living testimony of Christ, our lives reflect our relationship with Him, not only inside the four walls of the church. When I get too involved and lose focus, my mum will just ask, “what is your ministry here? Why are you there? Are you glorifying God outside the four walls of the church as well?” Then I realized that I spend too much time in church getting too exhausted to run my own life out of the church. Coming to class late, not able to focus in class, not giving my very best in my assignments, not caring about my friend’s needs ( outside church) etc, are also ways of not glorifying God. One thing I learned is that glorifying God doesn’t mean that I need to attend every single church activity, it is living a life that is pleasing to Him.

There are many people who will give us words of comfort, which is very good. But at times, even when the truth hurts or seem to put us down, we know that by identifying it, acknowledging it, acting on it, we can change and make better of the situation. We can be a better us when we know where to improve and what to change.

Don't make the small smaller!!!

2009-03-03T08:55:00.003+08:00

Today started dull, I was so blur during my electronics test. Anyways, things moved on as normal as always. Went to the library, went for discovery, have my dinner, that’s my Monday.

Just to share a little here are some things that I find rather irritating recently:

Have you been in places where people just don’t see you. Just because we are small/short, does not mean that we do not exist. Especially some guys (I’m not sexist) they think that girls can’t put on a DVD player, can’t hang something on the wall, can’t handle machines etc, they can’t stand when you try to give them opinion on these things, its something like “I can’t fix it, you are a girl, you think you can do better? And they try their own ways and try to prove that they are the MAN!!!” Well, you can do the work, I just happened to have a suggestion that perhaps can make your life easier. Not even a word I am saying gets into their head. What do I do when I meet these people? I walk away. What is the point of me standing there. After that, I pray, I pray that God will give me patience, control my thoughts, and look at the bigger picture. Its also one of the reasons that I hang out a lot with my MISC gang, they know you for so long, they know that when you try to say something, it has at least little sense in it, unless when I’m telling a lame joke. After hearing, if it’s a bad idea, discard it.

And sometimes during meetings, conference, I choose to keep quite when I’m with “I think I am highly educated and all knowing people.” When I open my mouth, please do not give the face of “you think you have an idea huh”. I know that you know a lot of stuff, but I reckon that if you would try to listen to the younger/little ones around, you’ll learn from them as well. I was in the Kid’s Church on Sunday, talked to this kid for about 15 minutes. Crying, he told me something shocking “my life is ruin, nobody likes me, they just think that I can’t do anything.” What do I say to this seven year old boy? Only after a little while, I realized that all he wanted is to have a chance to serve. I know that they are fantastic excellent people around, but give the smaller ones a chance, if we do not let them learn, how will they get better? And as they get better, they might give and teach us things that we never knew.

We were talking about excellence the other day. I would like to tell some people that excellence is not only when you are hanging out with leaders and known that you have this attitude. Please treat the new members, the normal members the same as well. Even if we are serving, it doesn’t make us more holy, highly than them. Value people simply because they are precious. I can’t stand people who do not practice what they preach!!! I can’t stand myself sometimes, I talk about self-control, about discipline, about eating healthy food, about exercising, about giving our best for the Lord etc. Occasionally, I still sleep till very late, just lazy to get up, I still eat a lot of cookies, I still can’t control myself when I start on movie series, I am sometimes not discipline in my quite time etc. Only when I see this flaw in others that I realized that I need lots of improvement myself.

Anyways, this blog is not about the things that irritates me. That was just an intro of my thoughts. My day ended well!!! I received a letter all the way from Malaysia. Its from my “Ex.” In it is a serious book so that I’ll continue to walk with Christ“THE GOD OF ABRAHAM, ISAAC AND JACOB” , a distressing comic book, and a lovely card. Its all from ASVIN!!! =D This is truly a true friend. Not because of the present that I got, but it’s the thought that you know you are somebody. It is not just a post, it’s a packet filled with love, friendship, hope, and joy. This is what I call true friendship, we do not need to talk often, we do not need to see each other often, there is no need of explanation of our actions, no need to report of what we are doing. But I know that I am befriended just for who I am, I am kept in prayers, I am still in a tiny part of the heart. No silly statement of, “we haven’t spoken in weeks, months, is there something wrong?” no doubt, no need to do what we do not enjoy, just be ourselves.

I’ll continue to grow in Christ!!!

Book to distress!!!

This term has really been busy, the Malaysian Night, Church, Studies, “social life” etc. I really Miss my family, my mother’s lecture, just sitting by my dad in the car, just talking and teasing my sis, just shopping with my brother. I too miss my dogs, miss my friends, miss my church. More reason now for me to focus and do what I’m sent here to do. Bring glory to God in all that we do. Make the fullest in all situation

To end, here is a very beautiful thing that I read :

IMAGINE
“Imagine a place so irresistible that people can’t wait to get there. Imagine a place so functional that no one ever wants to leave. Imagine a place where the atmosphere takes your breath away. Imagine a place where this same atmosphere causes huminity to flourish. Imagine a plave designed fot no other reason than to connect you with a world beyond your wildest dreams. Such a place exists and has existed within the heart of God since before all time.”
Bobbie Houston, ‘Heaven is in this house’

My 21st Birthday!!!

2009-02-22T03:58:00.004+08:00

I’m writing this blog because I do not know that to write on my assignment. I should just perhaps write a short summary of my birthday.

The 21st birthday is suppose to be the BIG event for many. It is suppose to be one of the most memorable birthdays ever. Well, we have the sweet 16, and when we turn 21 and 40 and 60 and 70 etc.

When you’re 21, it means that you are no longer a teenager, you’re now a young adult. Now, I have to be more responsible of my actions, accountable of my actions and make decisions on my own and accept whatever consequences that results.

Well, everyone has been so busy preparing for the grand Malaysia Night, busy with studies, assignments, church etc. My Malay buddies, out of their busyness, manage to squeeze out time for a little party, pizza and cake. (Special thanks to Kak Nadya, Iylia, Hanis, Hari, Amir, Azli, Fahim, Pei Pei, AL, Helmi, Faiz, Khairul, Wynne, Lucia, Ally, Mable, Ben[who is not there in person], Syammi, Firha etc). When blowing out the candles, I was told that I have 3 wishes. I stood there for a while, well, I do not know what to wish for, I haven’t got time to sit down and think of what my 21st birthday wish would be. So at the spot, I wished for 3 general things. First is that God will cover my family with the blood of Christ. Secondly, that God will bless the hungry children and thirdly, that all my friends, including myself will be successful in whatever we’re doing. Well, that was birthday eve.

.

Then, on the actual day, we went for a good proper lunch(Wynne, Alex Lawrence and I!!!). Finally, no sandwich and crips for lunch. We’re actually eating real food. We went to China Town and had real Dim Sum and called a few dishes. Thanks to brother Lawrence who generously foot the bill. Then, at night, we had to go home and finish up our assignments.

The day after the big day, Amir brought me to Nandos. We had a long chat, you never know how much of your friend’s life you’re missing out on unless we really have the time to sit down and talk. Its good old friend bonding time. So many things that we overlook when we are busy.

The best is all my sisters text me at the same time(Malaysian time) on my birthday. We chatted for quite some time and time flies. My brother, however, own me a big one. Since he asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I simply replied, “I’ll ask for a big one in 2012, when I get to celebrate in Malaysia again” My mom sent me to loveliest email, it is a prayer for me for my birthday. This is priceless, so much blessings and love in it.

ASH called all the way from Malaysia to wish me, but I missed both of his call. Hehhehee.. But eventually, we got in touch, had a good chat and updating on what’s going on time.

Thanks for all the face book wishes!!! Too many to reply, but I’ll reply everyone in due time. =D
Thanks for the gifts and the effort and even the thought. These memories are indeed something money cannot buy and is something that will last.

God has been good to me, the fact that I am here is because of His grace and mercy. Some of my friends are born knowing that they have the chance to come to UK and study, but for me, this is a real privilege, with God’s blessings, parents wisdom, and everyone’s encouragement. This life for me is full of surprises and I have the assurance that God will provide everything for us for His glory. I’ll continue to walk by faith, knowing that God will be my true friend and hero, who will stick with me at anytime, any situation, any place.

Ending my day by listening to the word of God. I chose the book of revelation, chapter 1. Out of the blues, but it’s a good book. How is the day complete without God in it.

Festival of LOVE

2009-02-14T01:52:00.003+08:00

It is this festival of LOVE again, VALENTINE day!!! This is a festival when lovers get more romantic than usual, it’s a festival where they are to spend a little more than usual on a very special meal and exchange a little gift from the heart.

I just read a story written by my friend Joash, a very touching and lovely story. His stories are one of the best original short stories that I enjoy reading very much. (highly recommended)

For those of my single friends out there, it’s a day for us to celebrate as well, don’t miss out this festival of love, for some, this is the day where new relationships begin, this is the day where girls get to feel special and guys to show their gentle side.

No, this is not a sad day for the singles, it is how you view it, who you spend it with, and how you treasure each friendship. If you’re feeling lonely at home, just find a couple of friends and hang out together. If you like a peaceful valentine’s day, just have a few friends over for a movie and some pizza.

Go out, invite the friends who you know are going to be alone, let them know that this festival of love is for all to share. Show love to them by buying them little gifts, some chocolates perhaps, and just go out and have a good meal together. We can make a difference, make each and everyone feel special because deep inside, we know that everyone are special in their own special way.

For those who have their special dates, enjoy yourselves, cherish the moments that you with each other.

We can all make a difference, living footprints on the sand, SHARE THE LOVE.

HAPPY VALENTINE DAY!!!

The Power of Giving

2009-02-13T19:19:00.003+08:00

It is sometimes hard to explain to someone who have no experience of what you’re saying.

How do you explain to your rich friend the value of money? 1 Pound for them is just tips, 1 Pound to some is already a meal; 10 Pounds to them is a simple meal, 10 Pounds to some is few day’s allowance; 50 Pounds to them is daily outing pocket money, 50 Pounds to some we can throw a party for 20; 100 Pounds to them is preparation money to go for a fancy dinner, 100 Pounds to some is sponsoring a compassion kid for 5 months.

I once came across this incident where one of the adult asking for a free place to stay overnight for the kids in his church during a church outing. The people incharged of the accommodation looked at him in a way and said, “but its only RM12 per night, its so cheap, why so calculative?”. Yes, RM12 to some is nothing(might not be enough for their one meal), but think again, if you’re from a rural area, RM 12 is what you use to eat for your whole week. And that amount of money times by the number of kids you‘re bringing, it is a lot. (But long story short, thankfully, they had place to stay for free that night - we need more understanding people around.)

It is hard to explain to people who have never been through a day without food. Our worries are sometimes, what should I have for dinner, what dessert will be better? But to some poorer people, their father’s worries are “how am I going to put food on the table?”, “how am I going to tell my kids that we have nothing for dinner today”.

When you look at kids from different family background, you will be able to see how the value things. Some kids are from a rather rich family background, they are very picky of what they put into their mouth, they waste food like there’s oversupply of food everywhere they go. Look again, when you give a proper meal to a hungry poor kid, look at the joy on their face, look at the willingness of them to share what little they have with their family and friends around, look at the gratefulness on their faces.

We need not be extremely rich to give, but start giving, even with the little. Maybe to some rich people what you’re giving is nothing at all, but remember that it matters to those who are receiving. Don’t compare with your neighbor what you are giving, but give out of love, give because you care and give because it will make a difference.

“Those who sow sparingly will reap sparingly and those who sow generously will reap generously.”

Give while we are able, give while we can, give while people are still able to receive.

It is the same, hard to explain to someone who have never feel love the true meaning of love. I’m not talking about the fairy tale love at first sight, this love is where someone will come willingly to chat with you, someone randomly out of the blues treat you a meal, someone passing by smiling to you, someone that you see daily just asking you about your day, a steady handshake, a warm hug from your friends. Do these unto others for it makes a difference, a very big difference to some.

My friend once asked me, what is your dream. I simply answered that I want to be very rich. Why? People might view this answer as a selfish, greedy, without much aim answer. But i want it because I have seen what money can do, how life have changed, what difference we can make. We human do not need a lot for ourselves, having the basic necessities and perhaps a few good meals once in a while is more than enough. This is one of the reasons that we have to work smart and be rich, so that we will not say, “if only I had the money”. Money if handled carefully performs miracles so wonderful.

We are living in this world, not alone, but with the companions of millions, many that we are able to reach out to but still not know them. But think about this, how much joy is it when you can see the smile on others when you yourself are smiling. How precious is their laughter, how simple is their heart.

We ought to be thankful, learn to love, willing to give and expect nothing in return, for the treasures in heaven is much more valuable than what we have now. THE POWER OF GIVING IS GREAT. And it brings more joy to the giver than the receiver.

Horton Hears a Who

2009-02-05T01:01:00.001+08:00

“A person is a person, no matter how small.”

Quote from one of my dearest cartoons - Horton hears a Who!

So true, so precious is a life, no matter what colour we are, what food we eat, how we dress etc. Who we are outside is important, but how we are inside is even more important.

There are people who come and go in our lives. Good people, lovely people, big people, small people, some not so lovely, but yet they are still in our life. We just need to learn to love them, if that’s too hard, the best we can do is stay out of trouble.

As we know, life is a learning process, we learn from our parents, our teachers, our friends, books, from movies etc. One of the very best book to learn from is the bible, well as long as we’re still talking about lessons to live a good and righteous life, not electronics(oh, how hard can electronic engineering be?).

It is written there, right in front of us, so true, so direct. It is said,

“The way of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever.
The ordinance of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous.”

We are who we are, we are different yet the same, we come in different packaging yet deep inside, we’re from the same maker.

Everyone’s life is precious.

There’s so many morals that we can learn from this cartoon. To be faithful, to love, to care, to be righteous, to forgive etc.

What a good way to relax, get away from everything, just sit back with some chips and laugh it all out!!!

Life is simple, don’t complicate it. Pray for strength to walk this journey, endure and treasure all that is around.

Remember, A PERSON IS A PERSON

Thank you Lord

2009-01-24T23:34:00.003+08:00

Have you ever have the sad feeling without any reason? I just finished my exams, was so happy straight after my last paper. Then it only took 2 hours for that joy to disappear. I went for some groceries in that evening with my friends and then badminton with the Malaysian Society. Something is missing, something is missing today, what was it I thought within. No answers till now though.

After a warm bath, I got out my devotion book and my bible. Just reading it through, asking God, why do I feel this sudden sadness in me? Everything is going on well, nothing is out of place at this moment, I should be rejoicing for tonight I do not have to study, no ships, no numbers, no sea…

Just then as I was asking God, my friend sms, “U ok?”. The first thing that came to my mind was, “God, You’re efficient, I just asked and you told my friend how I feel?” Then I was thinking again, “This friend might have six sense.” Then again, I remembered, I tried to call in the evening and the phone call was not answered, hence the return call. But God is good, He’ll send someone for you to talk to, someone that have some praise reports to share, someone that will just call to encourage.

But Lord, how can my friends understand what I’m feeling inside, when I myself cannot understand. I put down the phone, then I started talking to God. I said, “Lord, I do not know what is going on, I do not even know how to pray about this, I’ll let me spirit intercede for me k.” Then I was speaking in the spirit and tears started to flow, all I can think of is that “Thank you Lord for always being there”

Who can understand when you suddenly start crying without much reason? Who can be there always, to give you this warm comfort? Who can be there to hear the sadness in your joyful voice? Who can see the emptiness behind that cheerful smile?

One thing good about God is that He’ll always be there for you. You just have to believe it. He’s a friend that will be there 24/7 for you and not expect much in return, He’s a father that will provide suitable advice at the right time, He’s a shepherd that will led us to the green pasture and protect us from all evil and harm, He’s that lamb that came in humility and gave His all for us, He’s from the rich and famous and yet wants to spend time with us.

Thank you Lord, thanks for just being there, thanks for the chance to know You.

Light unto my path

2009-01-18T10:35:00.004+08:00

“Lord please, please let me know my specific purpose here, so that I can work towards it, so that Your name will be glorified even more. Please Lord, I’m listening now, speak to me, anytime, I’m waiting here.”

I cried out to the Lord for several days about this, I really wanted to find my specific purpose here. Some of my friends, even in the early age, can say “My calling is in Malaysia”, another, “My calling is in Asia”, another “My calling is to equip myself for these few years and then go there and go back to my country…”, another “My calling is in the kingdom (market place)”, etc.

I asked God to give me a specific purpose, so that I’ll able to work towards it. I keep on asking Him to speak to me, “speak to me, speak to me, I’m listening, speak to me like You speak to Samuel, I need an audible voice from you Lord, so that I can be sure.”

But then, sooner, I realized, in Psalm 119:105 “Your WORD is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” READ YOUR BIBLE!!! It will guide you!!! Yes, I have been reading my bible consistently, but not remembering it, not taking it very seriously. I have a good “tour/journey guide” all these while, all I need to do is to follow it closely, study it, put my heart into it!

God will lead us, but STEP BY STEP. When Jesus performed His first miracle in the wedding, He gave the servants directions, a step at a time. “Fill the jars with water”, then they filled them to the brim. “Now, draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet”, and they did so. Then when the master of the banquet tasted the water that have turned into wine…

God will reveal His plan in our life to us. In Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you.. Plans to give you hope and a future” He has a plan for us. He will reveal it to us step by step, as we follow it like the servants in the banquet, and we wait patiently, following the plan, then we’ll be able to see the wonderful plan unfold.

When Jesus was sent to the earth, He did not tell his disciple on day one about His whole journey here would be. It was slowly revealed to them.

He will not ask us to run till He knows that we are able to stand. He will not give us more responsibility until we can handle what we have in our hands first.

I guess His plan for me now is to learn His words by heart, serve faithfully in the little things in church, do well in my studies, pray for people, and just enjoy life.

I have to get ready, so that one day, when I actually have a more specific plan revealed to me, I will be well equip and able to go all out for Him.

There’s a time for everything.

People

2009-01-14T23:27:00.003+08:00

Life is like painting a picture. With our own two hands, we take up the paint brush, we choose the colors that we like, we have the image first in our head and then we make it the way we want.

It only takes one person to pass by to push your hand and there goes your painting, an ugly line across this perfect painting.

But it also only takes one person to stop by, share some views with you and your painting can be made better.

Painting a big picture alone, in the end, you’ll look at it, satisfied, and the those passing by might stop by and appreciate it for some time, and then move on.

But if we paint a picture in a group, like in school or children’s activity. The painting might not turn out to be such a perfect piece, but everyone who takes part in it will carry a part of it in their life.

In life, things might go well, but it only takes one person or even a small group of people to make it miserable; you might even think that all things are great until you met someone that can give you better ideas to improve your life; walking this life alone might make it look pretty, but where are we to share our joy?

“Why Lord, why? Why do you let us go through these process? So that we will endure and come out of it better? Many will tell me that. But what if Lord, what if, lets say you let me learn it through books, through my pastors, through the leaders in Church, let me understand it the east way. I promise that I’ll continue to cry out to you with a thankful heart and full of love.”

So many people going through so many rough times, Lord, have mercy Lord, have mercy. Are these really necessary?

After crying for such a long time, in the end, “May Lord, Your will be done in our lives as it is in heaven. Who else know me better than you alone?”

People are the most difficult “things” to handle. But they are the best “thing” to keep your life interesting. As it is said, no man is an island.

Setting myself right

2009-01-09T21:52:00.004+08:00

“Keep yourself pure and holy. Till where will you compromise?” This is what keeps playing over and over again in my mind when I was praying.

We just learned about the church culture last weekend. Every society, every club, every church, every person ought to have our own standard, our own culture, a line that we draw, a guideline. Not just any line, it has to be a clear line. Till where will we compromise? We are people who are flexible, adaptable, and willing to change. Some things can change, the methods of why we do things can change, but we have to be clear why we’re doing what we are doing.

My friend once asked, “what is the first thing on your mind when you wake up in the morning?”. My answer was simple, BREAKFAST! After thinking for some time, I begin to think, there must be more than life than just food all the time. Nowadays, when I wake up, the first thing that comes into my mind is PRAYER. Yes, I did pray before this, but was I listening, was I looking at the signs, was I just praying because it comforts me. Well, in this book that I’m reading about prayer, I begin to understand more and more, praying is actually paving the road of me meeting with God, praying is actually enjoying the company of God, praying is actually seeing what are His ideas, His thoughts, His ways. Just enjoying the company, an invisible company, yet a company so true.

On my things to do list, I only put two words since the holidays. GOD FIRST. Things are getting busier since I came back to Newcastle. Homework, assignments, readings, and exams, church friends, etc. After reflecting back on my holidays, I remembered very clearly of a discussion over lunch about “not being caught up by the events, the methods.” Set our heart right, set our purpose right. I was talking to this friend last week. She told me the reason of why she was joining two churches. “One is because is a church that really worship god, the other is because they are more based on the Word of God.” I was puzzled. Was’t a church suppose to worship God as well as the members growing by the word of God? What went wrong? I know that there is no such thing as a perfect church, but the function of it ought to be right. But first, we have to set ourselves right with Him.

When we’re unsure, just pray and pray and pray, then listen (or think). Unexpected thoughts will come into your mind, thoughts that might not make sense, thoughts that might be childish, thoughts that might not be what you want. Is this what revelation really means? Is God revealing Himself more and more to me when I really sit down in the silence.

In this new year, I pray that God will send me a mentor, that will guide me in this walk with God, that will tell me straight in the face what am I not doing right, that will be true, mentoring me out of love and not duty.

New Start

2009-01-05T06:08:00.003+08:00

Has 2008 ended badly for some of my friends? One burnt down his kitchen, the other three of my other friends broke up with their gf/bf. Good news for you guys, 2008 is over, look ahead, have a new start.

For me, 2008 is has been a real change. I realized that I know less, by knowing more. I realized that I am no where near to perfect, lots of changes are needed to refine myself. Entering 2009, not knowing what to expect but the best from the Lord. I believe that 2009 will be a year that my faith will be stretched, where my will power will be challenged, where my life will continue to change. Finding my purpose on this earth, where I have lived almost clueless for the pass 20 years. Searching what gifts and talent that I might have in this little mind and body of mine.

Coming back from my holidays, starting to study and back to my daily routine, perhaps I left part of my brain, heart and mind there. Importing it back slowly, so that I can focus here, exams are near, all shall come back on time. Committing it all into the hands of the Lord.

Feeling a bit weird, perhaps something here need some changes as well. I decided that I need a living plant in my room, drawing closer to the Lord, talking to Him more often, it is said, “it is a privilege to talk to God rather than a duty.” Really thank God for listening, for knowing and understanding what we are going through.

Here’s a song that I’ll like to share, I find it refreshing, assuring and comforting.

Holy Spirit come
Refresh me once again
Fill me with your power
In my soul, in my soul

Holy spirit come
Renew my passion
Lord Of Your kingdom
With endless love, with endless love

Lord I hunger and thirst for
Your presence in my life
Come Holy Spirit and make my whole

Going to pick out my little special plant tomorrow, no flowers, just leaves, just green, just another life.

“Lord, I’m tired, tired of making wrong decisions again and again. Please Lord, please take my life and use it all for Your glory.”

MCC

2009-01-01T01:01:00.002+08:00

Second blog of the day. I just attended MCC ( Malaysian Christian Conference) 2008 in Wokingham. Helping out in the children’s ministry, I have indeed learned a lot from them.

Their cheer, all things are possible. Yes, I know that with God, all things are possible. But do I just know it and not fully believing in it? Just this 4 short days with the children, I was able to see that when they say it with full of energy, they believed in it. It was not just something that this nobody is telling them, they truly believed and are happy to know it. It really speaks to me that WITH GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

Preparing what to teach them, I learned a lot more myself.

The way that they receive the word of God, is so encouraging. They do not doubt it, they do not question it, they just believe it as it is.

Teaching them the story of Zacchaeus the Tax Collector, looking from a different point of view at this story, we see that he first purpose in his heart to want to see Jesus, then he put in effort and climb up the tree. And later when he had an encounter with Jesus, he changed. And in returned, he started to give back and bless all those around. I always thought that this is just a nice story about bad short people can turn and be good people. It actually thought me that in doing things, we first must have purpose in our life, then we need to put in effort and when we align it with God’s plan, in the end we can bless others.

Before I went to the camp, I prayed everyday, for each and every child by name even before I knew them. First time, leading the children that are born in the UK, I was clueless of what to expect, but indeed God has answered my prayers and helped me throughout this whole camp. Giving me ideas and helping me to connect with them.

I learned how to serve humbly, without expecting anything in return. But to my surprise, the parents are so generous, they gave me CD, book, and chocolates. Indeed God is really good. I really find joy in serving Him and sowing into people’s life. When we take the first step of wanting to serve Him with the right purpose, He will indeed give us wisdom and help us every step that we go.

Communicating, not talking

2008-12-31T23:58:00.002+08:00

Having been missing in action for quite sometime now, I am now actually in London. I could have go to many other places for my holidays, but why London? I came here to be recharge spiritually. Staying with a friend that is after God’s heart, meeting people that are on fire for God, getting new ideas of people’s view of life.

There are a few things that affect my decisions in life since my stay here. I have decided on which church to go to, what to pray about and also getting closer to God, spending more quality time with Him.

I have heard many testimonies about prayer moving God’s hand. Very encouraged after each sermon and testimony about it. Uncountable times since was still a young kid. But I have been praying for a long time now, but quite inconsistent. Was i just talking and not listening? After coming to the UK, I have a room to myself, more time for myself, more thoughts of my own. Deciding that I would have consistent quite time with God(and actually connecting with Him) is one of the decision that I have made and am proud about it. From 10 minutes to 20 minutes to half an hour. It is not about the minutes, it is the quality time spent with Him. Sometimes when we are connected, time just pass by so quickly without us realizing it.

Human are like learning machines. Every time I read the bible, it now seems that God is talking to me in a different way. Revealing more and more to me. Only before my holidays, I was asking God to talk to me, why have I been praying for so long and not hearing His voice personally? Talk to me if you’re really there I said. After a few weeks of telling God that, a thought just came, “have not what I have done in your life speaking on behalf of me already?” Thinking of that, I wept and wept, knowing that God has indeed done wonders in my life, in my family, in my friends. Sometimes, God speak not in the way that we expect Him to. Just as Jesus coming to the earth was not the way we expect a king to come, but when we look at situation from a different point of view, we will be able to understand it. Having so many miracles in my life, the people that God bring into my life to grow closer to Him, He is indeed communicating with me in actions rather than words.

God have been revealing so many ideas to me in my life, changing my thoughts, my behaviors, my actions, I am truly not the same person that I used to be. Surely many of my characteristics are pretty much the same, but my thinking really changed. The reasons why I do things changed. My mum have always told us to be ambassadors for Christ. For the pass 20 years, only now I understand what it truly means. Not fully yet, but i am able to understand more of it now. Such an easy philosophy, just a few words, yet it took me such a long time to digest it. I used to think that I know quite a lot, but as I listen to more when others speak, I realized that my knowledge is so so so shallow.

God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow. But to be more and more like Him, we cannot remain at the same level of understanding yesterday today and tomorrow. We need to improve from yesterday and more today and even more tomorrow.

Just talking to God verbally and actually being in the presence of God is so different. I used to just talk to God, but as I grow and learn, I am now learning to communicate with God. There are so much that I do not understand, but with faith, I know that God is slowly drawing me closer to Him.

Idleness

2008-11-30T14:05:00.004+08:00

White field, empty street, leafless trees. Yup, its snowing here. And it is getting colder by the day. All my body wants to do is to laze around, watch a movie, have a hot and filling meal. the sweet aroma of hot coffee just calms you down and bring you into dreamland sooner that you realise.

But then, when I was reading the bible, there it is, the verse that speaks to me. “IF A MAN WILL NOT WORK, HE SHALL NOT EAT!!!” Wow, such direct message. It is the warning against idleness.

I went to the library today, knowing that I’ll only sleep if I stay at home. Before starting, I said a short prayer that goes something like this “Lord, give me the strength to stay awake and study.” To no surprise, after an hour, my head gets nearer and nearer to the table, and soon enough, I went into dreamland and woke up only after an hour has pass. “too cold, too cold, I need to go home now.”

Many a times, “THE SPIRIT IS WILLING BUT THE FLESH IS WEAK.” but this does not mean that we can give in, we(I) might fail trying, but this test goes on. Try and try and try. Change the mind set, purpose in our heart!!!

Let us all have a fruitful winter and enjoy the lovely snow!!!

Continue to pray and ask for strength!!!

Supporting My BROTHER!!!

2008-11-21T08:14:00.006+08:00

Support my bro on his study trip to LONDON. Please show some support by buying and promoting to your fellow friends. Thank you very much.

"Becoming a contemporary Christian to engage the prevalent culture of the day is not the same as getting the approval of that culture. If you are looking for cultural approval, you will end up compromising. And by doing that, you are allowing the world to define you, and to lead you. The power to define is the power to validate. As long as you are the head and not the tail, you will excel and lead in the world. And when you become a leader in the industry God has planted you in, you become the one who validates others, not the other way around." Pastor Kong Hee

Let us support each other and impact the market place!!! =D
Thanks!!!

Open our eyes!!!

2008-11-18T10:52:00.002+08:00

“Could you please pass me a ketchup please”
Looking around, I replied, “sorry, there is non here”
My friend sitting beside me, reached out in front of me, took the ketchup that is right in front me and pass it to the lady that asked for it.
Busting out in laughter, I said, “I looked around but missed what is right in front of me”

Sometimes, in our busy schedule, we often overlook the simplest things in front of us. Some simple concepts that are known right from the beginning but ignored or forgotten till one day it strike us again.

Was in church the other day, a simple message was preached, “hear the cry of the hearts”. The sermon went on just like any other sermons. But then, a thought suddenly stroked me when she preached about “You are there because people are searching for God”, “You won’t hear the cry of people until you get near”… It caught me thinking that we often pray for the people far away, in my case, my friends that are so far away, I care about them more than the people right here, around my, that I met daily, that I am living with.

Am I getting too use to praying for my Christian friends that have their prayer needs written down and forgotten that I am to pray for those around me who need the prayers but did not ask verbally for it. It is logic that when we see a person in need, meet their needs. Therefore, when we see a person who needs prayer, pray for them. They might not know that you’re praying for them, they do not hear it but God certainly hears it.

How do we expect them to ask us to pray for them when they do not even believe that this God that we worship really exist? We have to wake up, be alert, on guard at all times.

We do not know how much time we have we these people that are placed in our mist. Not only the “good people” needs God. The people who are living a sinful lives are the ones that needs Him even more.

“The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” Matthew 9:37-38

Living a luxuries budget life.

2008-11-06T07:59:00.003+08:00

We need to get back
To the basics of life
A heart that is pure
And a love that is blind
A faith that is fervently
grounded in Christ
The hope that endures for all times
These are the basics,
we need to get back
To the basics of life

-the basics of life-

Its quite a common phrase when you hear people say, “ I do not have enough money to spend”. I for one certainly used that a couple of times before. But do I really have not enough to spend or I just want to spend more than I could afford? If I am really broke, I would eat only bread everyday. If I’m extremely broke, then I won’t be complaining even if the worst food is placed in front of me. If I am not doing that, that means that I would have enough to last me for the next day.

This is more for a student’s point of view, how to live with what we have. To live healthy life, of cos we need to exercise. Exercising here is rather cheap if you do not have any transport to bring you around. Basically, we walk to our destination. Not forgetting the extreme exercise of cycling uphill, a real challenge, at least for me. If you’re walking 15 minutes, its consider near, if about 25 minutes its ok, if 45 minutes, only then you can call it far. My daily exercise is walking for at least 1 hour per day.

There’s lots of good budget food over here. Breakfast is rather ordinary, just cereals with milk followed with some fruits. Maybe some healthy oats as well. Sandwish, puff, and maybe a some hot soup for lunch. But I love dinner!!! There’s just so much food, tried roast chicken, curry chicken, “pai gu tang- pork soup”, different types of vege, fruits and nice chocolates, noodles, etc.

Well, not to forget your tithes and offerings though. Give and it shall be given. Give out of love, give because we are blessed to be able to give. Give not because it’s a duty, but do it with great joy, appreciating His works and what the small amount of money mean to others.

It has been a month and a week since I got here. Time pass so fast over here. I learned a lot of new stuff around here, especially about ships. When I first started the engineering science, I thought the class was so boring, he’s still teaching what we learned in form 4. But when I started my tutorial questions, I took about 3 hours just to complete 6 suppose to be simple question, with help on others.

Humans are very interesting creatures, we tend to want more and more and more all the time. There’s no ending to the list of what we want. Not to say that it’s a bad thing to want more, but sometimes, we ought to pause and think and give thanks for the things that we have. How many people out there that do not have a proper roof over their head and we here are talking about buying all branded stuff?

Humans also have the ability to make the best out of even the simplest molecules. New things are invented on daily basis. If we are willing to improvise, make the best out of the simplest things that we have, we can live a happy life.

I see people with so much yet they still complain, and yet some with such minimal and are so grateful. Is this not a common paradox of life?

My mum thought me something last week. “the LAW of life” - “Love mercy, Act justly, and Walk humbly with Him”.

Micah 6:8 He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy And to walk humbly with your God.

New Semester resolution

2008-10-15T06:22:00.002+08:00

Many a times, God speak to us through different ways. I know people who have very clear purpose or calling in their life. But why am I only living every day as it is? They will say, my calling is in Malaysia, my calling is to care for the children, my calling is in India, China, this ministry, that ministry…
Am I just a blur lost person who do not know what is ahead of me?

Or do I choose to live in this “perfect world” of mine? Well, I choose to be happy, there are bumps here and there in our life. But I choose to give praise for the good and improve on the bad. Time flies, after we fall, get over it!!! Well, no one says its easy. We are overcomers aren’t we? We overcome what ever thing that is ahead, it may take quite a while, a year, 2, 3, or even 10 or even more than that. But we will overcome it someday, somehow or another.

But dwelling in our problems too long and not doing anything about it is certainly not the solution though.

I do the normal stuff Christians does, go to church, read the bible, pray, give my tithes and offering, serve other, etc… but why is it that other people have such clear calling and me, “just give your best in everything that you are doing - can that even be a calling?”
Maybe its like the story of the talent, if I am able to treasure and make the best out of all that I have, someday I might be able to do greater thing.

But well, maybe its just our perception of “GREAT things”. We need to understand that not everyone is like Billy Graham. Serving as an usher and service as the worship leader is also serving. Most of the time, its our thinking that “washing the cups after refreshment is a less good serving than preaching in front of a thousand people.” it’s the way that we do it that matters, out of love for God, love for man.

We know so many things but its hard to actually believe it. Sometimes, I might think that all these thoughts are just to comfort myself. Well, I need to be comfortable when I talk to God, after all, He’s my friend, the only friend that I bring around even when I leave everything else miles away, or the only friend that brings me around.

Its good that my library is about 20 minutes walk to my accommodation. I can listen to some sermons, chat with God, do some reflection, the coldness around here is kind of calming too.

People normally have their New year’s resolution. But well, here’s my October resolution, it shall continue till Christmas holidays.

October/ New semester resolution :
1. More God, less chatting online
2. More studying, less sleeping
3. More Healthy food, less salt and preserve food
4. More exercise, less bluring
5. More work, less complain

Something I find interesting on my stay here. “When people tries to annoy you but doesn’t succeed, they get more annoyed instead. How weird is that?” Well, for everyone’s info, I can sleep through noise quite well, and having music loud will not annoy me much (unless I am have headache).

New chapter of my life

2008-10-13T04:34:00.004+08:00

Newcastle, the place where the wind blows when it blows no where else.

All the buildings look the same, the business selling paint will not be any good here. All the buildings are bricked wall, brown bricks, light brown, really light brown, dark brown, really dark brown, reddish.. Good thing about it is it looks nice, different, down side is, you’ll probably need more time to get use and recognize your way. I got lost about 3 times since I’ve been here. But am getting familiar and able to find my own class without any problem. =D

Some updates about me here is that I found a church, Jesmond Parish Church, with nice people, quite a number of Malaysians joining the church too. First trip out with them will be on the 1st and 2nd of November, will be going to the Scottish border. It’ll be fun. Its funny how God works. In KL, when the church is too big, I tend to go back to my Ipoh small church where everyone knows everyone, maybe God wants me to learn how things run when you’re handling a big bunch of people at that time, I learned much discipline, commitment, importance of sacrifice, fellowship, effort that you need to put in before you actually run an event. When I try to find a big church here, I end up in a smaller church, maybe God is teaching me to actually serve more, and learn more about humility. Well, I kind of prayed and told Him that I want to serve Him more, maybe that’s why the Hillsong Church is sooOOO far away now. The church here is so traditional, so different from what I imagined, but I guess God have a plan for me. If its not the right church for me, He’ll find a way to bring me away.

My classes, are pretty pack though, besides Wednesdays and Fridays, which leave us time for groceries and random activities. I got to know many people here, however, they drink most of the time (almost every night - maybe it’s the cold weather), smoke quite a bit, loves really really loud music and erm… maybe its too early for me to fix these characteristics on them. Who am I to judge anyway. Explanation from a kind friend though, “ this is the first time most of them leave home, got lost of freedom, no one to look after them, therefore…”

As for me, I normally hang out with this girl from Sarawak. Simple girl, easy going, nice, and the best thing is we can cook together (save money and good fellowship). The other regulars that I normally hang out with are the MISC gang, including some other seniors that I get to know thanks to the many HARI RAYA open house. Besides that, a few locals, but not so many at the mean time. But thanks to the church gathering, I’m able to find some others that don’t actually drink so much and have a normal Malaysian lifestyle.

About the course that I’m doing. I’m very privilege that I’m able to play with the biggest toy that man ever created, the ships… The engineering courses is rather a stranger to me at first. My classmates, mostly have worked or deal with ships before, loves the sea, have their yatch, parents or close family members handling with it. But as for me, this is my first time reading about a diesel engine, my first time learning the names of different part of the ship, first time seeing how the bottom of the ship is suppose to look like, etc… I take about one hour to digest 2 pages of work, while the rest know most of the things that the lecturer is talking about. My lecturer bought a turbocharger as decoration, I would rather go for a small pot of flower though.

Do I have enough money to spend here? Well, I bought quite a number of things here, but going slow, can’t spend too much at a time, must be accountable for it. Maybe I’m now having a little (but enough) to spend and when I actually can handle money wisely, maybe, perhaps my allowance can increase.

Still finding my way around, still looking for my purpose here, still finding the best places to shop… I actually miss my youth back in Ipoh, miss my family and friends. it’s a privilege that I can come this far, I should be able to make the best out of everything I have. I shall grow closer to God and rely on Him in everything I do. Different culture, different habits, different way of washing the dishes… Could this small size girl actually win some souls for Him here?

The world will not wait for us

2008-09-24T00:58:00.003+08:00

How depressing is it that sometimes when we pray, and pray and pray, nothing happens. Well, we all know that maybe its not the time yet, maybe the answer is no, maybe it’s a test to build our character. But well, these answers can sometimes bring you down, way down.

Sometimes, we have a list of prayer items, when all things goes on well, we thank God, we give praises, we testify of His love and mercy. But when things turn bad, we ask, Lord, why, why, can You please reveal Your plans to me, can You just give me a glimpse of my future, can You please take me by the hand so that I won’t have to fall again. WHY ME?

Day and night we pray, and days after days, months after months, years after years, things just don’t turn out the way we want it to be. Is this an answer of no, this is not the way that you should be heading or is it just another test, testing our patience and developing perseverance and building our character?

I see people who love God, fails (or rather did not achieve what they want) one time after the other. Is it that the more you love God, the more testing you have to go through? If that is the case, just love moderately. But well, the prize is what we’ll receive in our eternal life. As the book Purpose Driven Life says, this life here on earth, its just a test. JUST A TEST, preparing us for our eternal life with God.

Sometimes, I just don’t understand. I cried, I laughed, I go blur, well, I can’t know for sure what is there before me, but to continue believe that God has plans all good things ahead of me.

The things that keep us going is knowing that “life goes on”, the world will not wait for you while you fail, it will not wait for you to recover from all your hurts, it is most unlikely to stop just because you are crying. Terrible huh, but that’s the truth about reality. Pick yourself up and get going, while you ponder on what hit you, the earth continues to spin.

The other thing, when I fail, the thing that gives me hope, is knowing that I can count on His promises when all else fails.

"Now I am about to go the way of all the earth. You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the LORD your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed.

Well, the Lord has made everything for his own purpose , and I am assured because God said that He will never leave me, never abandon me.

So many question, that we know the answers to each and everyone of it, but yet so hard to go through it.

Well, we still have to pray and believe that God knows best for all of us.

A Prayer From the HEART

2008-09-19T01:11:00.000+08:00

This is written by someone I know, during a time when she is depress and confused. Not knowing what lies ahead. Soak in tears, this is what she wrote and told God.

Lord, Sovereign Lord,
You know I love You,
From the bottom of my heart.
Please Lord Groom me Lord.
I place my trust in You.
I know Lord You love me.
You heal the sick,
Heal the dead
I know You love me the same as you love Lazarus
I know I am Your creation.
I surrender all Lord to you.
Only you know my true heart.
I just want to glorify You Lord.
You hear my cries in the silence,
Much tears have been shared through this journey.
But Lord, please don’t let it end here.
You have given me much,
And I thank You for my that.
I read and hear much about You Lord
Please Lord, let me experience You for real.

All these waiting, all these testing,
Please grant me strength Lord.
For You alone understands my heart’s desire.
Thank you for the shoulder to cry on,
Thank you for all the encouraging people,
Lord, strengthen me Lord

May I not be a burden to anyone Lord,
Lord, as I seek and cry to You with all my heart,
Hear me O Lord.
Through this darkness, I know You’ll be my light.
I can turn to no one Lord but You.
Who knows what I really feel inside but You Lord?

Help me to understand this wonderful plan of Yours.
Lord, I may be strong in front of million,
But give me the strength to face myself
I do not expect anyone to understand,
For I myself do not understand
Please use me O Lord, as You desire,
But grant me also my heart’s desire as I cry out to You.

I’m ready to be obedient to You
For I know this is a form of worship
And I do want to glorify You
I do not want to stop praying Lord,
For I believe that you will hear and answer my prayers accordingly.
As I continue to walk this path,
May I be able to glorify You till my last breath.
Allow me to see the joy and peace Lord,
Through these trails and testing.
I proclaim that you are the Lord of my Life.
I need you Lord!
I need you!
I need You!
I love you Lord and I commit all, Lord into your hands.
Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;Praise Him, all creatures here below;Praise Him above, ye heavenly host;Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Amen.

Why are we here?

2008-09-07T09:06:00.002+08:00

It is good to share God’s word to people. I actually learn more when I prepare the notes then when I actually attend some other talks.

Was sharing about “why are we here?” with the youths during the youth fellowship. Some of the points were like we are here to worship; we are here to fulfill the great commission etc. When it comes to a point where I was preparing, “we are here on this earth to Glorify God”. Looking back, I have many times failed at doing this.

Thinking back about my school days, my results fluctuate according to years. When I was young, my results are sort of good, till I was in standard 3. Then, it went real bad till I’m in form 3. Starting from form 4, my results slowly catch up. Not good yet, but slowly improving.

According to my performance, no one would think that I’ll even go to UK to further my studies. Ulu Klang maybe, but not United Kingdom.

But people are stubborn in many ways. So many times I fall, learned my lesson but still fall again. How could it be “learned my lesson” when nothing actually change? For example, I just completed my A LEVELS. I did miserably in my first exam. Then I resit for it and got a rather average score but am glad about it. Then coming to the last exam, I spent much time with my computer, resulting 2 months of worries about my results and finally when it came out, it was acceptable, but much worse than the other two person taking the same course, same scholarship as me. Come to think about it, I did not actually glorify God in that sense.

The last part when I was sharing, I told them they we need to change. For this, we have to first “sanctify” ourselves and then set our goals right. To sanctify, I need to repent, pray, have PURPOSE IN MY HEART, and have faith. God has brought me this far, I believe that He will bring to pass all good things that He has started. Furthermore, in setting our goals, we used the S.M.A.R.T. way. This is what I learned in my motivational camp. Our goals have to be Specific, Measurable, Action-plan, Realistic, and Time conscious. But recalling one of Pastor Kong Hee’s sermon, we Christians have God in us. Therefore, we have to be S.M.A.R.T.E.R. We have to have Expectation management and also Revelation.

Going into the new chapter of my life, far away from my family, there ought to be many changes in the way I handle things. I need to now plan financially, it’s not like in KL where I just call home when I do not have enough money. Well, the journey has already begun since I’m already starting to pack. To make it interesting, I think my Offer letter is lost in mailing, therefore, my Visa is not done yet. I need to reschedule and delay the plane. Addition to that, I now fly alone, without my scholar mates. With heavy luggage, big airports, my first transit, I need to find my way to Newcastle. No doubt with my blur face, I have God with me.

Its no use to not practice what I preach. As my fellow youths are changing, setting their mind on the right things to do, I too need to change and start performing.

High School Musical on ice

2008-08-17T00:21:00.003+08:00

We went for High School Musical on ice in Stadium Putra.
The tickets are supposed to be for all 5 of us. But then, last minute, my sis and my bro can’t make it, so left the 3 of us phus Ashvin and Khai Xhuen.

After the whole musical thing, Ashvin said, “I think I should go see the High School Musical movie.”

Well, the choreography was nice, based on the HSM movie. Was nice and the costumes are bright and shining. Despite some error here and there, the whole thing turned out to be very enjoyable.

Thank God for the fellowship that we had together.

My God of MIRACLES

2008-08-11T03:15:00.004+08:00

Praise the LORD. The waiting time is finally over (for now). Waiting time is indeed a time that we learn to pray more, lean on God, learn more about Him, share more, cry more, etc…

Results are finally out!!! Praise the Lord, I’m going to UK, finally. (shouting, jumping up and down, bursting out in joy)

Let’s see what happened between after the exams and before the results are out.
1. Keeping myself pretty occupied, hoping that I won’t have time to think about it. (traveling around, covered : Kluang, Batu Pahat, PD, Kuantan, Kuching, Shah Alam, Melaka, etc… plus helping out at home)
2. It’s a forbidden thing to talk about the results. No questions, strictly for those who know me well enough. No talking about winter clothing, new stuff that you’ll need in UK, strictly no SHOPPING yet.
3. Praying, crying out, and weeping, for a miracle. I prayed, “God, if you don’t help me this time, no one can, I’m counting on you. I need a miracle.”
4. Don’t discuss much about being an Offshore Engineer. When people ask, “what are you doing now?” the answer was, “well, am just waiting for my results and will decide later.” Thinking in my mind, “please please please don’t ask anything further”
5. Got to meet up and made quite a number of friends, from all around.
6. Learned to be patience.
7. Learned to sleep through anything that comes our way, “pray, be still and fall asleep”
8. Watched almost all the movies in the cinema (English). Plus watched SHARK, Private Practice, Gossip girls, etc.
9. Manage to catch up with some readings.
10. Managing fear and worries, changing it into prayers, hard work, and self control skills.

Special thanks to those who have kept me in prayers.

“From the prophecies in the book of Zechariah, we are assured that He who has begun a good work in us will also finish it.”, “its not the end of the world”
Yeah, that’s how my mum comforts me.

Despite all the head knowledge about resting in the Lord, fear not, worry not, be still, don’t be anxious… well, I confess that many a times, I do all of the above.
It is not that easy for 2 and a half month to pass just like that. But God is always GOOD. He once again brought me through this “determining” period of my life.

For those who did better than me, praise the Lord. Keep it up. For those who are not satisfied, here’s something comforting and true. “well, not everyone who do well now do well in the later stage in their life, and not all who fails now are failures forever, things changes. Do not loose hope, have courage, continue praying.” His ways are beyong our thoughts.

Psalm 17:6
“I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer.”

Prayer, prayer, prayer and prayers... Remember, God is Good, all the time.!!!
Praise the LoRD and thank God for everything.

Thoughts of the day

2008-08-06T22:53:00.002+08:00

Well, I went for Dark Knight again.

So, what did I learn this time? The ending speaks loud and clear. In this world, what we know might not be what really happened. What everyone believes is right might not be the right thing. What we see, we read, we hear, the version varies, building up the way it sounds nicest.

And I just learned from the series SHARK, “truth is relative”.

Dangerous huh…

Another thing that I learned about is, “be careful of who you’re talking to and what you’re talking about”
Today, this person might be your best friend, but the next day, he might be the one prosecuting you. We learned before this that “our dear values crumble under pressure”.

One mistake that we make can cause all the years of good work we have done. A little flaw in our action/words can be charged against us.

People can and may do anything to pursue their goals. The goals might be good and clear conscience, but the way they pursue it might not be.

Well, all these thoughts, too much law movies I guess… but well, we live in a real world.

Be in it and not of it.

BTN

2008-08-02T22:19:00.003+08:00

5 days in Kem Bumi Jati, Shah Alam, attending BTN(Biro TataNegara).

At first, the reasons that I attend it because it is COMPULSORY, plus, I need to keep myself occupied while waiting for my results. So, there I go, Hari’s dad fetch us there and Azeim’s mum got us back home.

A piece of advice from my mum before I went, “go with a positive attitude!”

So, yeah, I went with a positive advice, with little unwillingness.

My dorm is right next to the loud speaker. I jump right up the next morning hearing, “BANGUN BANGUN, SEMUA BANGUN”. Looking at my phone, its only 5.25am. ArggggGGHHH!!! But well, its not that bad waking up early in the morning, at least it is good for my health. But the loud speaker seems to have lesser effect as days pass. It is so easy for us to accommodate and get use to the surrounding. Asvin says, “when in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

161 of us scholars (MARA, KPM, PETRONAS, MISC…) together with our facilitators, trainers together, we completed the course.

In all things that we go through, there are good things and bad things. But well, it is all how we look at it.

What did I learn from this BTN?

The main focus are “PERKARA 153, PERKARA 14, PERKARA 10, PERKARA 181, PERKARA 5… etc.” Well, this is the head knowledge that I got. But then, what did I really see through this camp?

We can see how people think differently. Different people from different background, and different teachings have different thinking. The way we all look at the same thing might be different.

I also learned that we have to be well equip with general knowledge, and see the impact when people see things from only one angle. Well, if we only see things from one angle, it is “dangerous”.

Furthermore, I learned when to speak and when to listen first before speaking. And also if there is a need for us to speak.

This whole holiday, I learned that we need to pray, love, treasure, and defend my nation, my country. After the whole MYPG, 40 days praying and fasting for the nation, BTN, most of the things that I went through this whole holiday is about the importance of standing up for my nation.

Well, we are the child of God, we are here to love and pray as one. We are here for a reason, for a purpose.

Results are coming out soon!!! … -.-“

Things we learn from movies

2008-07-24T00:58:00.002+08:00

MOVIES

I’ve watched a couple of movies these few days. One of it is Batman(Dark Knight). Well, it’s a good movie, no doubt. Besides that i'm freezing in the cinema even with two huge guys beside me.

The part that amazed me the most is the part where the two ships are to blow up each other. (can’t say too much, better go watch it for your own.)

The thing that caught my attention the most is that when the convict took the remote control for the boom. Saying, “I’m now doing what you’re supposed to do 10 minutes ago.” I thought that he’s going to press the button and *BOOM*!!! but then, instead to my surprise, he threw it into the sea.

The action that he just did, how many ordinary people, well educated person, wealthy people can do the same?

Put myself in his shoes, well, I’m not sure what I would have done.

Another movie that I’ve just finished watching is TWO FOR THE MONEY.

The wife in the movie, her actions really touched me. She never gave up on her husband. He bet on her, he spoke to her rudely, he even did not trust her. She still cared for him more than herself. At the last part where she’s accuse of having an affair, she still told him this, “I’m not going to give up on you, NEVER!!!”

Having to live with such a person, how long can we hold on? But well, its commitment and the willingness to sacrifice that make her so wonderful.

In these two movies, we can see that people’s actions are unpredictable. And that no matter how good we think we are, when desperate time comes, can we still think logically according to our believes and the values that we set?

Is a PHD holder any better than a High school dropout when it comes to making certain decisions? We learn different stuff from different people. No matter how high we go, we ought to humble ourselves and respect others, and there are more things out there to learn from them that we cannot find in books.

A little update on the things that are happening around:
1. Has MYPG just ended? No, its just a new beginning!!! Next is held in Sabah.
2. 40 days fast and pray just started, time to put our nation in God’s hand.
3. Children’s Party is coming up, 16th August, all who are still children are invited.

Sarawak 2

2008-07-15T21:07:00.003+08:00

Me kena tipu bila naik sampan

Me kena tipu bila beli barang

Next time mesti do research bila nak lawat lawat

Me likey this guy, very cooool, dun talk ge... hehehhe...

Sarawak

2008-07-14T22:26:00.004+08:00

Am at Sarawak with my bro

and LianCy

and her family

comp lagging, blog next time =D
Peace Out

Biggest Hypocrite Award

2008-07-10T11:49:00.006+08:00

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

Some reflection on what I’ve learned from Soaring the Eagle Camp.
Well, this is not the title of this activity, but it certainly have to do with it. We are given a situation. You have a beautiful wife, 2 pretty daughters and 1 extremely handsome boy. However, they like shopping and you can’t bare not to give them any money when they ask from you. So one day, you borrowed RM 3000 from Ah Loong (loan shark), and have to pay back in two weeks time.
Then the payment day came. You went to the bank only to find your balance is not enough to pay back. Then immediately after that, you received a phone call from the Ah Loong saying that he’ll be in your house with his gang in 15 minutes time and you are warned that things might not be pretty if you do not have the money with you.
Then you looked around, you saw an old man, dropped an envelope on the ground after taking some money from the ATM nearby. You wanted to call out to him but he went on a bike and went off before you can call out to him. You went and pick up the form only to find that there is exactly RM3000 in it. There is no name and no address and no numbers on the envelope. There was no way to trace back the old man.

Each team is to put up a sketch showing that whether you will take the money or not in the end.

(what our team acted was that if he did not take the money, the wife and daughters will be raped, and the son’s fingers will be chopped off one by one. But if he took the money, they will continue to have one happy family)

Lesson learned is that YOUR VALUED PRINCIPLES WILL CRUMBLE UNDER PRESSURE. There were so much talking about integrity from the starting of the camp, only to decide in the end that we will take the money when we’re in desperate measures.

On the other hand, we have to look at this in all directions. We always think of our own consequences, well being of those who are involved, how would people view us of the decisions we make. But have we wondered what God’s view is? Might it be a test of your faith? We all know that God will not test us more than what we can take.

If we take the money, it will be contradicting to what we have learned, preached, and practice all the days of our life. We don’t talk about paying back for what we have done wrong, if all sins can be paid in monetary form, there won’t be the need of grace and cries for forgiveness. If we can just pay back for what we have done wrong, then it is a clear ticket for sinning and paying back later. In that case, it is ok to kill, and then justify yourself that you can repay for what you have done wrong.

We need not justify our actions. If we took the money, our faith is very much broken. It is the same as when we take bribe to feed our family. This is non-halal money. A sin is a sin, you don’t justify it with excuses and the fruits that you can get out of that one little sin.

Yes, of course we have to live with the consequences of the wives being rape and the son beheaded. It will not be easy, but if you give in and say it is ok to take the money, then those that you thought, those you are with will all together lose faith and turn away from the God of justice, God of truth, God of love, God that they trust the God that you have been teaching, learning and believing all these while. Till the end of days, when you see God face to face and when he asked you about why did you denied your faith at that moment, are you going to stand in front of Him and justify yourself?

If we look in-depth into the situation, if we are trying to justify our actions with the people in the quran and the bible or any other religious teaching, they did so and then asked for forgiveness and repented, of course they are forgiven and their sins are washed away. But how many other believers will you cause to stumble? Are we teaching them that it is alright to sin first when we are desperate and then come and repent later?

Why teach all the right things and not practice it ultimately. We can clearly see that living by faith, people will prosper. But we also see those who are persecuted, whose families are tortured, those who loose every earthly thing that they ever valued.

If we can pay back our sins, then what is the use of the millions good thing that we are teaching about?

It is a hard decision “reality vs godliness”

Who are we serving? Who are we living for in the end? For ourselves, for those we care for, for our friends or for God?

When the end of days come, it will not be easy, many will give in and stumble. I know it is easier said than done, but in the end, will I continue to stand for what I believe in or will I do wrong and justify myself later? I cannot guarantee that I will stand firm but by the grace of God, I shall stand by His side and fight for Him, living a godly life.

About the sketch, after much consideration and thoughts, I somehow got a revelation from a friend with good explanation that we should not have taken the money.
If we put the light of God into the picture, think of who we are ultimately serving, look at the end picture, knowing that right is right and wrong is wrong.

This is very debatable and are we looking from earthly view, “ we’re doing for the benefit of many” of are we looking from God’s point of view?

* We know that it is not a blessing from God when we see the money because God will not cause someone to loose something for your gain.

I failed big time, failed to stand for what I’ve believed in so far. Failed to live in faith. If this is an award giving ceremony, I shall be getting the “biggest hypocrite” award. I solute Assurl, a muslim in my class that stands for what is right in the eye of God. He is among the odds but did not give in; he did not justify himself and is viewed as a guy who made the wrong decision. But in the end, who are those who made the wrong decision?

Our principles that are set based on the word of God. How far are we willing to stand up for it? NO COMPROMISING, JUST DO IT.

Question is, who are we living for and do we practice what we preach. May it be the smallest decisions in our life, may we do everything for the glory of our Lord.

Filled with conviction, I hope its not too late to change our mind set on “what grounds are we standing for?”, and “how far can we go on carrying the light of Christ with us.”

Am I trying to be super spiritual? No, I’m just a little girl trying my best to follow my God, trying to make the right decisions based on the right source.

What we decide on can see how much we really love God and how close we are to Him.

*Thanks JIT for laying down the right foundation for this case. My coming here is not such a waste and buat kacau after all, and thanks to the facilitator who show us the reality of the world out there.

Soaring the Eagle

2008-07-08T15:36:00.003+08:00

All good things must come to an end. Having fun with Nadya, Nanu, Mira and LianCy, eating lots of Dominos and playing some card games back at Ridzuan. Time went by just like that. Then, it was time to pack for camp.

Well, it was really fun in the SOARING THE EAGLE camp. It was compulsory, but after stepping foot into KLCC, thought came “lets just enjoy it.” Yeah, so, that’s about it.

We gathered at KLCC, thanks to Azeim’s mum that fetched us to Kelana Jaya with the overweight luggage. From then, we went together, Asvin, Amir, Azeim and I.

There weren’t much the first day, but I meet a very dear Indon girl. DIBY!!! Yeah, that’s her name. She wakes up earlier than me every single day take her bath and will wait for this sleepy head to wake up. Admire her always positive attitude.

Well, entering the class, so many unfamiliar faces, then news came that we’re going to combine with Samba 3. First thing came into my mind was ASVIN, yeah, with her around; I can feel free to be louder. Hahaa..

Then, we got into our respective groups.
Here are our members :

First is Ashvin, the guy that is 186cm tall, man of few words. Got to know him more after finding out that he brought cards to the camp. Well, its amazing how we remember people in different ways. Well, he’s tall, very tall and of cos friendly as well.

Secondly, Jojo, the Artist in the group. Much credit have to be given to her for all the amazing drawings on all our presentation. A very bubbly girl that cheers your day up.

Thirdly, Ali aka Ryan.C - , the host of the “American Idol”. Extremely thin guy that I think is very much lighter than me. A smoker that runs like the wind during sports.

Then came Ainaa, the gentle soul. The way she approaches people is very calming, got to know her more during the walk by the beach at night. Btw, she’s also my housemate. =D

Besides that, there’s Toh, very fair guy, with funny personality. Easy to get along with and doesn’t complain much, he’s ok with most of the decisions the group make.

Followed by Fatin, our AMERICAN IDOL winner, stunning voice and good showmanship. Good when playing Bola Jaring, but sprained the ankle while playing with ganas people like me.

Azli, the guy who doesn’t talk to me much for the pass two years but amazing spoke quite a lot to me during the camp. Well, what can I say, this camp works wonders. But then Azli, I found a guy prettier than you in the camp(pretty boy – Faizi)

Fazreen, the forever cool guy that goes about things slowly and is extremely calm. The guy who can’t detect my voice and loves to play winning eleven.

Last but not least in the group is this small little girl who is bloggig.

Really happy to be in this group. A combination of different talent, different personalities and so time consuming, but it still manage to bring the best out of eack and everyone there.

Well, this camp is really BLASTING, its more than what I can imagine. Got to know lots of great people around. Shared some laughter, cry, shouts, and bunch of fun.

There were too many things happening in the camp that is indescribable. Too many details and too many people to thank.

Learned much from my facilitators and these fellow amazing friends.

Shall be blogging more when I get the time and also internet connection. Thanks so much guys, you all really made this a memorable camp and well, friendships starts with a spark but time will definitely turn us into fiery burning flame that will last.

And our war cry created by Ali, Jojo and Ash, shouted be all :

I say burgh!
Its cool in here I feel Syntium’s Spirit in the atmosphere,
I say ayeyaeyya..ah..
ICE ICE
I say ooh..ahh (x3)
SYNTIUMMMM!!!

Here are some of the sports photos :

And some Casa Racardo food :

Shared some waiting time together :

Miss you all, do keep in touch. Thank you all for the wonderful experience!!!

Malaysian Youth Prayer Gathering

2008-07-06T18:22:00.002+08:00

Its amazing to see that people of small places having big vision for the greater tomorrow of the nation.

The effort put in by the youths, making the posters, designing the T-shirts, making badges for fund raising, organizing the whole event, looking forward for the day where we can come together from different parts of Malaysia to pray for the betterment of the country, this is really amazing and exciting.

For those who wish to come together to pray for Malaysia, are all welcome. It’ll be held in KLUANG, 19th July, 8am till 8pm.

For more info, check it out at the MYPG page.

Give Thanks

2008-06-21T02:34:00.002+08:00

Thanksgiving is coming, well, I do not know the date for thanks giving. Is it during Christmas eve? Because that is the time they eat the turkey. Well, after google-ing, I found out that it falls on November 27, 2008 in USA; October 13, 2008 in Canada, it is also the harvest festival for some of the natives.

Well, if thanksgiving is the only day that we give thanks, then everyday day is thanksgiving. If that is the case, then everyday is a holiday!!! We ought to give thanks for everything that we have, every single day that we been through, may it be a happy day for us or otherwise, every breath that we take. It doesn’t mean that its turkey everyday though.

My family is very much thankful and grateful for the abundance blessings that have been shown. And that we can still come as one family to give thanks and to praise Him despite all the challenges we’ve been through. We’re having “thanksgiving” in church this weekend. Well, we’re Chinese, so we’re not having turkey, instead, we’re having 烧猪, yup, roast pork. Besides that, we’re having a little “family presentation”, singing “Just Let Me Say” and “耶稣爱你”.

All who wants to share this joy are invited to Pengkalan Church, Sunday evening. =D

Besides that, Saturday will be my first time officially sharing with the youths. "Living a Life Without Compromise". Well, indeed I went for the camp, but i will not be talking much about compromising while choosing your life partner. “BGR is for young adults, teenagers, focus on your studies!!! Or at least till you finish your Pre-U.” yup, that’s what I learned recently too. I’ll be touching 3 sub topics though - compromising in school, in church and in the outside world.
.
While preparing for it, I realized that I am in no position to tell them anything about compromising. For I am one that compromises a lot, well, I always thought that in that way, life will be much easier, I’ll offend less people. But well, we have to set our principles right. One verse that struck me is Luke 6:46 “Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?”

I need to put my head knowledge into practice. And stop being the world’s number 1 hypocrite.

Choosen Generation

2008-06-18T09:19:00.004+08:00

CAL is finally over. 2 years of it, as if I grew old in Taylors College. Well, whether it is worth it or not, we’ll find out on the 10th of August. For now, there are much more ahead.

Well, I went for the first ever GEPC Young Adults Retreat. Okie, initial reason why I went for this camp is because it is an instant ticket out of Subang. Tried to find people to accompany me for this camp, but at last, my very own sister came along with me. I realize that I always get involved in things for the wrong purpose. Second reason why I joined this camp is - “better set myself right at the start of this 3 months holiday”. I wasted a lot of my time in my previous holidays, well, hopefully this one will not be added into the “a waste of time collection”.

No matter what my purposes are, eventually, God has His own set of different purpose for me. He showed me my purpose there. Well, not that I saw a vision or had any dreams about it. It is more of a “wake up call”. This is the most relaxing camp that I even attended. Not much activity were prepared, well, I reached at about 10 pm on Friday while the camp started at 12noon. So I pretty much skipped the Briefing, Ice breaker, Worship for the first day… but I came in time for the first session, even though I was a late.

There were all in all 3 sessions plus a bonus session. First message was Living the Life Without Compromise, Second message was Living the Life at Workplace, and the most interesting for me is the 3rd message, Living the Life in the Last Days. The messages are mostly based on the Book of Daniel, plus Revelation 13. (too long a message to blog it all out.) The Bonus Session is more of finding your right partner in life – Set some principles in your love life. Eg ; Guy must initiate, your family in-laws…

But well, we ought to learn something in anything that we get involved in. Different people get different revelation from our input. After listening to the intellectual speeches, I realized that my general knowledge is shallow, extremely shallow. I look at things only at the surface, focus on the things that are not important in life. Well, not that I do not read, I follow TIMES, Newsweek, National Geographic… Well, I’m not much of a newspaper person, but things ought to change though.

For this holidays, my schedule is up till 19th of July – the important and significant day, “youth praying for the nation, going to be held in Kluang, Johor, from 8am till 8pm.”

Of course the first week of the holidays, spending time with family, followed by a whole week in Johor, and the next in PD, back to Johor, then Sarawak, then Johor again. Might be stopping in KL in between trips. Well, we plan but God decides.

I need to read more this holiday. Well, trying to finish the book that I started a long long time ago, “why does God allow suffering”. Followed by a The Age Of Turbulence, by Alan Greenspan, well, it’s a very very thick book. But the most important book to finish is my bible. Well, to tell the truth, I haven’t finished the whole bible from cover to cover. Ashamed by it, but that is the truth. What a big hypocrite, telling people about my God when I hardly know Him personally. Well, I realized that I read the book of James, Daniel quite a number of times, but there are some books in the bible that I never finish reading.

Some other things that I HOPE to achieve during this holidays are learning a bit about video editing, cooking, photography, yeah, that’s about it for now.

To Asvin : I watched gossip girls, a bit here and there. Well, its more of your movie, not my type. Hehhehe… I like the way they dress up though. =D

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
1 Peter 2:9

HaPpy BdaY tO AgNes

2008-06-12T20:13:00.006+08:00

This post in specially dedicated to Agnes Koh!!!
Our beloved housemate, who is often stress because of exams, study non-stop…

These are some of usual phrase :

“Walao-a”
“Zen De Ma – (really ar?)”
“Good good, very good!!!”
“Wo gen in jiang ar – (let me tell you)”
“My goodness-y – (Oh, my goodness)”

Mocha - clocolate cake

Happy g@l with her cake and fav kaya banana dessert

Food for all

Our housemates plus Michelle who is in the photo, MIA

Little girl growing up, tomorrow finishing her first Sem exams.

Dun see her small small, growing up to be a lady soon liao, going to STRAIGHTEN HER HAIR tomorrow, shopping and makan makan!!!

Really blessed with all these “crazy crazy” housemates.

*yeah, tomorrow last day of exams liao for me too... after that go makan and straight to camp!!! =D

Coming to an end

2008-06-11T20:16:00.004+08:00

Life is a journey that all must go through. But not all will go through it the way they want it to be.

There might be people that we want to please but can never do so, people that we never want to meet but are always in our life everyday of our life, people that we want to be with but hardly meet, there might be people that we want to spend more time with but never got the chance. Well, all are there for a reason, to test us, to build us, to encourage us, or just for us to have a good pass time.

“Why am I under so much stress?”, question that I often hear. Should the answer be, “Because you chose it!!!” There are people that can multitask, be busy the whole day and yet still find joy and meaning in their life, in what they are doing. But yet, there are people that have everything planned out for them but still complaining and are never satisfied. Why do we complain about work when there are people out there who wakes up without an office to go to. Why do we complain about schools when there are people out there that do not have a school to go to.

Was in prayer meeting yesterday, probably the last one that I’m attending in this church, for this year at least. Many things once again cross my mind. “People in my life that I took forgranted, broken relationships that were never fixed, laziness that causes so much miseries, fear of the future, worries that are never ending, not being good enough, etc.”

The one thing that really struck me is that I have not really given my best. Well, everyone study, but have I studied more then everyone else? Is the best that I’m giving now really the best that I can give? Having to sit through all these exams, one thing troubles me the most is “What if I don’t make it?” Well, I really do not know if that happens. Absolutely no idea.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ...... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:25-34

This passage is no stranger to most, I know that it is true, I believe in it, but sometimes, I just don’t believe in myself.

Well, this place is not that bad after all if you think about it. There are people here that certainly made this place a brighter place to live in. Am really blessed just to get to know them.

As my roommate says, “life goes on”

Well, there are many that come and go, there are some that we will remember, but there are definitely one or two that we will keep in our heart.

Am just thankful and grateful that God has never left me and will never do so, not today, not for the days to come, not one day in the future, I this 3 months I’ll just have to live a life of WWW(worshipping while waiting).

Maths

2008-06-04T13:03:00.000+08:00

Maths was so hard

So hard

So so hard

So so so hard!!!

The better tomorrow

2008-05-24T02:39:00.003+08:00

Feeling a little weird today, well, maybe its too much of food(am growing sideways at home), maybe it’s the weather, maybe… I have no idea. But thank God that I’m at home.

Well, finished the first paper, Physics 5. well, it was ok, I learn that “thou shall not take coffee before your exam paper, it will play games with your mind.”
More papers to go, at least I learn my first lesson early.

Since the weird feeling was there, went and read some blogs. Some blogs barely have any new posting, well, I guess people around are getting busy, with work, exams, weddings, mountains to climb… and I’m just sitting here.

Was browsing, friends falling in love, friends facing relationship problems… Went on browsing, came to blog, “ I hate myself today”

Well, it sounds interesting. Went on reading. I learned that people will “implode”.
And many are held by the bondage msn(I don’t chat with many on msn, but just like to hang around see who is online), facebook(am still a noobie), downloading(well, David Cook’s songs are nice)…

Continue reading, “I have learnt my lesson (the hard way).” Ok, I don’t want to learn the lesson the hard way, there is no resitting if I don’t do well this time. A wise friend once told me, “a fool never learns from their mistakes, a normal person learn from their mistake, but a wise person learn from other people’s mistake.”

The blog went on. The last line “Its either I change my way of working or decrease the load.” Well, the load is already there for me, either meet the requirements or else… erm, there is no or else…

Well, since the internet is a distraction, am not going to bring my laptop back to Subang this time. Tough choice, but, it’s for the better tomorrow.

1 Corinthians 9:24
“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.”

How are you?

2008-05-15T01:36:00.002+08:00

“How are you?” This is not just one simple question, it consist of, “hey, what you up to?”, “how’s things going on over there?”, “taken your dinner?”, “any updates?”, “anything you want to share?”.

So when people ask you this question, we should answer more then “I’m ok.”. Although that’s my reply most of the time. Well, communication breakdown is one of the reasons why people can’t get along well, why friendship fades away, why marriages do not work out, why families fall apart. Well, am not good at relationships, but am working on it.

I believe that God send people to our life for a reason, to be impacted and to impact them. When we are facing problems, if we keep everything to ourselves, we can’t aspect people to have supernatural powers and know what we’re thinking and doing. Maybe some of you out there do have, but I know that I do not acquire this “gift”.

Really thank God that He sent a good “human counselor” into my life. She happens to be my church counselor and also happens to be my mum. Well, not everyone has a family to listen to everything that they have to say, there comes our friends. What are friends for? They are there to share and to help one another, not to be “used – taken advantage off” though.

Well, some of us might want to talk to our pets. They might calm you down, but well, I haven’t got any solutions from dogs yet, maybe I’m not trying hard enough… hmmm… what would I do if they start talking to me?...

But some of us might not be as lucky to have friends or pets that are willing to hear our problems. Well, there is someone that will always be there for us. He’s our God. He’ll be there for you and me anytime, anywhere. He’s some sort of a mobile friend that we can bring along wherever we go, and yes, your secret is safe with Him. There’s no where I can find a better friend than Him.

Thank God for msn, email, cell phone, and all sort of stuff that connects our friends to us and us to our friends.

*Here's a song that i would like to share, not a new song, (but new to me), my youths were singing it and it really touched me the first time i listened to it. The title is "祷告，I PRAY"

Are people who are always happy artificial?

2008-05-08T01:15:00.001+08:00

There are really happy people in life, not because they come from perfect background, not because they had never been through hardship. It’s just that they are able to find joy in even the smallest things in life. They are able to live a simple life, and when good things happen, they are able to rejoice, and when bad things happen, they are able to see the joy in others and try their best to get through this phase of life, knowing that they grow to be more complete when all these come to pass.

When people do not want to share their problem with you, it might be that you are not trustworthy, they just do not think you care about what they’re going through anyways, some might be because they have other source to talk to, but it might also be that sometimes its just their personality that they do not like to tell anyone “life human” about anything that they are going through, not because you are not trustworthy, you are not the person to talk about.

Whenever you go through any tough time, we can’t always control the outcome, but we can try our best to direct the outcome as what we want it to be. Our thoughts and action account for the outcome. When bad things happen, we can change our mindset and choose to be either happy or sad when we’re going through it. It doesn’t mean that you have to be smiling 24/7 but you do not have to frown 24/7 either. Just make the best out of the situation.

When people are happy, it doesn’t always mean that they are faking it, though some may. It may be because they have the joy of the Lord in them, or the way they look at things. For example, I do not have enough money to buy even a cheap sandal for myself, I can either go through extreme depression thinking why my neighbors have such good life and not me, I can choose to appreciate other things that I have around me, my family, the plants around me, the nature, the air I breathe, or maybe, you can try thinking that, “am so happy for my neighbors that they have what they want and that they are blessed.”. Learn to take joy when people are blessed. We can’t be self-centered and be happy only when good things happen to us.

When you really love someone, it doesn’t mean that you have to be with that person all the time. And when the person find someone that he loves and wants to be with, shouldn’t we be happy to see that he is happy? When jealousy, envy ness, heartache, hatred comes in, that doesn’t portrays the love at all. That portrays selfishness and that you only love that person when he’s doing the things that you want and you like, and when he’s doing it for you. True love shows when you see that the person you like is happy. If he ends up with you, then it’s very good, but if he doesn’t, just wish him a blessed journey ahead and be sincere, don’t turn away and think why is life unfair and start cursing and going through depression that never ends.

When you see someone who is always truly really happy, be happy for them; don’t think that there are no such people on planet earth. This world is so big, even if they are minority, they still exist. It doesn’t mean that everything in their life is perfect, they do not go through trials and temptation as you do; they do not go through things that you’ve been through. Maybe it’s just that they are just simple people, maybe they can be joyful when they see other people having fun, and maybe they just look at things at a different approach. Maybe in their mind, it’s like “I could be much worse than this, but thank God that I’m still alive and still standing strong, I know that no matter what happens, He will be there for me.”

When we sing “ the joy of the Lord is in my heart”, “you’re the air I breathe”, “everything’s going to be alright”, “all things are possible”, “you’re all I need”, “there’s nothing more I want than you”, “give thanks with a grateful heart”… do we not mean what we sing? If we really follow the decree and obey it, I can’t promise life is a smooth sailing, but life will definitely be happier, life will have more meaning in it.

Don’t let jealousy get in the way. Learn to take joy when you see others are happy.

Be yourself, but if you are a terrible self, try to change, if it doesn’t work, try harder.

There are things we want in life, and there are things we have with life. Life is not mechanical, just live and make the best out of it.

So much to talk about, but its time to sleep, just remembers that our mindset is one of the determinants of who we are. If its not right, change it.

*didn’t really check and many errors are ignored due to tiredness.

Mother's Day

2008-05-05T23:18:00.003+08:00

Love is in the air..
Mother's Day is coming
What to do for mother's day?
All the love that we have
All the care that we got
All the time that was given
All the sacrifice made
What should i do this Mother's Day?

Worshiping While Waiting (WWW)

2008-04-30T07:23:00.002+08:00

Ku akan selalu menyembahMu
Kaulah Tuhan yang benar
Yang memahami dan menyayangi ku
Ku beri semua yang ku ada

Ku akan selalu menyembahMu
Meninggalkan segala galanya
Untuk menurut kehendak Kau
Itulah kehendak hidupku

Ku akan selalu menyembahMu
Di mana ku ada
NamaMu akan disembah
Kedengaran di mana jua

Ku akan selalu menyembahMu
Walaupun masa tidak izinkan
Kerana Kaulah sayangku
Ku sudi menantiMu

Christian living is not just a smooth flow, however we can find joy even in the darkest hour and the peace of God will be in us. For some, the hardest part of being a Christian is not, having to go to church, having to attend people, having to put on the forever smile. But its the waiting period. You do not have the “yes” or “no” answer. Its just written everywhere “just wait and see”.

However, it is this period of waiting that mold us, shape us, build us, and transform us, which increase our faith, which make us who we are in future.

In the mist waiting, the best thing to do is to continue to seek Him and WORSHIP Him.

Life’s like a tree, it takes time to get rooted deep inside, and grow up fertile to be seen.

All in a night

2008-04-24T01:58:00.005+08:00

Looking up,
Cool wind, nice trees, starless sky
Should I choose pollution or rural areas?
Can I have an unpolluted city?

Staring at the allay
A widow standing there, in my mind
Looking straight at us
Wondering “Why is life unfair”

Sitting at the stalls, eating
You’re so near, yet so far
When can we talk face to face
And not only "chat" for ages

Sitting in the car,
Discussing about random stuff
That will not make a change
But it’s a need to build relationships

Seeing from afar, thinking,
When will we be able to read minds?
All will be clear if it is so
But yet much disaster and hatred will come along

Life goes on
Will we regret the things we’ve done
Or the things that wanted but did not do
Is this about ego or reputation?

When will we know the truth?
Is the truth the best solution
Or is it better to have world peace
and not knowing the truth?

Walking

2008-04-17T00:39:00.002+08:00

In a dark small tunnel
Hearing the water dripping
Trying to find the little light
That will show the way

Following a dim light
Walking aimlessly
Just hopping to find the way out
Using all the senses

Filled with hope
The last breath
Taking the big step
Across a huge gap

Often searching
Still searching
What if I never get out?
There’s still little hope

Nothing much left
Only a little time
Little strength remaining
Just need to get to the top

Hotel Rwanda

2008-04-11T00:35:00.002+08:00

As many of you know, its holiday time for me. I love holidays. It’s a time when you get to meet up with your old friends, spend more time with your youths, have more dinners with your family, catch up with movies.. etc…

Well, here are some movies that I watched lately.
The first one is Hotel Rwanda, Starring Don Cheadle(Paul). Its quite an old movie though. The movie is basically about a civil war between the Tutsi and Hutus. The thing that really touched my heart when I watched this movie is that how a guy can sacrifice, willing to go through hardship, willing to pay a high price when the neighbors, friends, family, and strangers turn to him. In this modern world we are living in, its more for I live for myself and maybe my family and perhaps a few close friends. Greed, selfishness, ego, we often ask this question “what’s in for me?”, and sometimes we tend to be too calculative, like we put all the things we do on a weighing balance.

Well, is it easier to give money to the beggar, to the needy, to random people then to give it to some of your relatives that are always asking for more?

And why is it that sometimes easier to give offering to the church then to give to your poor friends? And why is it that we feel better when we do mission overseas than in your country, or maybe just around the neighborhood? Doesn’t CHARITY START AT HOME?

Why is it that we treat people differently? Do we speak differently when we talk to or boyfriend compared to our family members? Or why do we even treat our friend differently with our family?
Why is it ok for us to play with the orphanage than to clean up a junk yard? Is it not both helping? Or do we only help when it is to our convenience?

In this movie, his love for human kind, not only for his own people but the ones that are different from him. LOVE. Yups, that is the missing ingredient in this world. Well, not only plain love, but how much we love. How far are we willing to go in the name of love? I can’t deny that its easy to love when it comes to our convenience but when its not, is it going to be a whole different story.

No one is perfect, but don’t make it an excuse for ourselves. I have a lot to learn from Paul. I believe that there is still room for everyone to grow in the context of love. Love, love, love, easier said than done. “LOVE”, a BIG, STRONG, MEANINGFUL, WONDERFUL word, yet, often taken lightly.

Next movie.. to be continued…

Little Events

2008-04-09T12:43:00.004+08:00

It has been a while since I got the time to update my blog. Since the last post was about the Holy Week, I guess I should continue from there. Well, there was a little gathering at my house on Friday in conjunction of Good Friday.
Never did I know that there are so many unexpected things that may happen in such a short time for such a short activity. But no matter how many unexpected things happen, there is always a way out, people will be sent to help us, and all things will turn out good as long as we don’t give up half way through and continue to pray. It all started in the afternoon, got stuck at a friend’s party and don’t have the transport to get home to prepare for my own, only got home 1 hour before the gathering started. There were suppose to be 11 of us, but in the end, only 8 of us turn out, 1 fell sick and two more had something on the last minute. Our transport guy was called to his own gathering but God is good, He sent a last minute substitute to get our pizza for us. It was a good day, but then it started to rain. Not only that, the car broke down half way and we were caught in the rain, outside Domino’s Pizza. My friend, a non-Christian was like “ you better start praying that the car can get started.” The pizza people were good, gave us the help we need and then the car got started and good to go in just a short time.
The whole gathering went on smoothly after that. A short worship, a short sharing, some questions, and overflowing supply of food, not only that, then came the additional sushi, beverage and also ice-cream from my new housemate’s mum. All of us had a great time, get to know each other a bit better.
It is not easy to plan stuff, especially when you don’t have the workforce needed. So many things that need to foresee. Prayer is need, and faith and work are equally important as well.
Much credit has to be given to Tracy and Chia Huey, for planning so many stuff for the cell and also their commitment. Imagine the number of phone calls they have to make, making sure that every details are taken care off, taking care of each and every member’s needs, often I overlooked the preparations that they have done for us. All the outing, the cell gathering, even weekend church meetings. Lets say I get about 10 messages from them every week, times with the number of people they message, plus the additional messages for certain follow up, its time consuming and a long list in your bills. The good thing about them is that they are not calculative when it comes to doing God’s work.
Maybe we should help them out here and there, if each and everyone takes care of a small thing, it will make their life easier. Or the least we can do is don’t complain!!! Well, maybe it is the human nature, it is not good enough, I don’t agree with this, I don’t agree with that. Well, suggestion is need to improve what we’re going through, but a helping hand is also needed much. Going through all these with high opportunity cost of relaxing at home, its their love for God and their love for man that keep them going I suppose.
No matter what we’re going through, continue to persevere and rely upon the strength of the Lord. Something I learned while growing in this church is that when problems come, we should pray for strength to overcome it, and not pray that the problem disappear. Well, its easier said than done, but you’ll not know until you really experience it for your own. We should not that God’s work lightly and more to that, prayer is the secret recipe to a successful planning. =D

The Holy Week

2008-03-19T06:04:00.002+08:00

Lent is coming to an end. It’s the 40 days fast and pray, building a stronger relationship and plugging into God. It originated as a symbol of 40 days spent by Jesus in the desert. Coming soon will be Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter.

My classmates are asking the lecturer, why aren’t there any holiday on Friday, since Thursday is Nabi Mohammad’s birthday and there’s a holiday for it. Well, it will be a holiday for you if you’re in Sarawak, but not here. Moreover, its not about the holidays. Well, Maundy Thursday is to commemorate the last supper that Christ had with His apostles, washed their feet and gave them a new commandment, “love one another as I have love you.” John 15:12. Good Friday, is to remind us of Christ's crucifixion on the cross. Knowing that He’ll have no connection with His father for a period of time, bearing the sin of the world, by a sinless being, the suffering and the imagined images in my mind reminds me that salvation is paid with a great price. And Easter, the Resurrection of Christ. In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. Well, without the Crucifixion, there will not be resurrection, without the resurrection, there will be no celebration, and without all these, we would not be cleansed. So, these days are equally important.

Well, this will be the first time that I’m going through all these away from home. (what happened last year? I have not much memory of it) Normally, we’ll have prayer meeting on Thursday night, service on Friday night and celebration on Sunday. Going through all these away from home will be a different experience, confused at first and a bit lost (having Good Friday on a Thursday and not knowing where I should be on Friday) but finally, decided that the praying, service and celebration “tradition” is good and should be carried along. So, Thursday night will still be a praying night for me, Friday night, we’re having some worship, games and food over at my place. But who’s going to share the word? That is still to be known yet. We shall see. Well, is not about what we should do on these days, its more of remembering what happened and commemorating it. Different people have different perception of how things should be but ultimately, the meaning should be there. Treasure it and pass it on, and be thankful!!!

Romans 6:8-11
Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Timing

2008-03-15T10:45:00.003+08:00

Many times, we fail is not because human is not capable. Its not because we didn’t put enough effort. Sometimes, it’s the just the timing. ( Why superheroes are often defeated at the beginning and are only in control in the end of the movie? It’s the timing. At the end, they will have more power, more preparation, and more alertness, learning from their first defeat and regain consciousness and more aware and ready to face their opponent. ) the learing process requires time.

Our heart might want it so much, having high hopes, craving for the answer we want. But in the end, we go back with emptiness, having nothing to bring along, not having the answer in hand. We blame ourselves, we blame everyone else. Going through depression, lost and having nothing to look forward to. How scary it is when we start to lose hope.

Which is sadder? A person that have a dream but not pursuing it; or a person who has no dream at all?

But sometimes, why is the timing always wrong? Getting sick during your exam period, unfortunate things just come by when you’re trying to focus, something will just come and bug us when we’re trying to do something. Often, we will continue and press on to finish our task. But won’t it be better if we can complete it without much misery? But we must always remember that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. As easy as it is said, how many of us are actually looking forward to trials so that we can learn something out of it?

Most of the time we would prefer to learn from other people’s experience. But the outcome is not the same. For example, I never understand why will people cry when they do not score well, well, its just a paper, try harder next time. Until it happen to me, it’s a whole different story, all the effort just flush into the drain, just like that. Well, looking at the bright side, at least you know how people feel when they are disappointed when their efforts don’t produce the outcome that is expected.

We are often searching for answers. Are our questions not answered, or is it just not the answer we want, or is it that the timing is not right yet? Its easier to ask a question that we can get a yes and no answer rather then you’ll soon to find out. Soon? How soon is soon? What’s the measurement of it? How long more must I wait? Sometimes, we just feel the emptiness, there’s something missing in our life. But thinking of it, we have everything that we need, not to talk about wants. If we are earning more than USD 100 per month, we are in the top 5% income earner of the world. What more do we want?

Standing there the other day, with so many unsolved mystery, just hoping to get the answer, but can’t seem to get it. Just telling, “don’t let me die here, I know you’re out there some where, in fact I know you’re here. I know you’re watching. I know you care, I know you have a plan for me, I know that I need to have faith.” When will everything be revealed to me? Is it not the time yet? Who can I talk to that have the answers?

Well, our timing is not always the best timing. Maybe its just a period of change. Can an obedient heart and a little step of faith take us through all these? Well, the answer will sooner or later come, we need to continue to ask, continue to wait for the answer, but no matter what the answer may be, receive with it with an open heart. And be grateful at the end of the day. But if we never ask, never seek, we’ll never know. But sometimes, its just too hard to ask, but all shall be revealed in due time.

Utter randomness

2008-03-06T05:58:00.003+08:00

In cafeteria :-
Amir : You know, English, there’s just love. But in malay, its sayang, cinta, and suka.
Me : What’s the difference to you?
Amir : Sayang – you love someone, but even though you’re not together,you’ll be happy for them.
Cinta – you love that someone and you want to be together no matter what.
Suka – it just come before sayang and cinta.
Me : -.-“

Outside Physics Lab :-
Jia-Li : how you doing?
Me : Fine, just a bit blur, can’t really study just now.
Jia-Li : Its good to see you blur all the time, makes me calm.
Me : Hahaha… I’ll take that as a compliment i guess.
Jia-Li : You know what? I just need to look at you before the exam, and that will calm me down.
Me : -.-“

On the Phone :-
Jonathan : Hello, who’s this?
Me : Who do you think this is?
Jonathan : Ah, Serena, what’s up?
Me : How do you know its me?
Jonathan : Its your blur voice, always sound like you just woke up.
Me : Hahaha… I woke up long ago, already on my way to college. -.-“

Note : Blur don’t equal to I don’t understand, I’m not listening, I don’t care, “whateverlar”.. etc.. Its just merely talking monotonously. -.-“

Seeking

2008-03-04T06:23:00.005+08:00

Isaiah 55:6
6 Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.

Jeremiah 29:11-14
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

Fasting and Praying

2008-03-03T04:07:00.008+08:00

It’s the time again, nope, not the time for dieting, but it’s the time to fast and pray. Isn’t it exciting? What’s so good to be excited about it, people may ask. Well, so many people come together, mostly strangers but connected together some how or other, having the same vision, praying for the same thing. Isn’t that amazing?

So, why do we fast and pray anyways? “so that we may be slim at the end of the day”, “so that people will regard us as the goody holy being”, “so that I’ll be accepted into church”…etc.. well, that’s not true, that shouldn’t be the reason. Fasting is to put God first, its an effective way to move the hands of God and it connects us with Him. At the end of days, it will result in the blessings promised. He’ll hear us from heaven, forgive us of our sins and heal our land!!! (2 Corinthians7:14)
“Return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning…Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity (Joel 2:12-13).

So many things to pray for…

Ever heard of Lent? Well, it’s a 40 days fast and pray before Easter. It’s a preparation of the believer, through prayer recalls the Resurrection of Christ, and celebrates it!!!

The NECF, praying for the election, these are important leaders that are suppose to take care of the well being of the people around. So, its very important that the right person is chosen for the right job at the right time. “I’m not into politics” really? Everyone is a part of it in a way or so. Well, we are part of the community aren’t we, so, its our responsibility to pray for the election as well. We really need someone who really love God and love man. Well, polls on the 8th of March, few days left to pray. For those who are voting, vote wisely.

City Harvest KL, 21 days of fast and pray.

Will the answers be revealed? Well that’s another reason why its so exciting, we are able to understand God’s plan more and more. Pray must come together with faith, perseverance, self-control, commitment…

Just excited, excited because it’s a time of fast and pray again. Believing that our prayers are able to move the mountains.

The answer

2008-03-01T01:25:00.002+08:00

Standing,
In the middle of the crowd,
Laughter and cheers,
What does it mean?
When the answer is still unclear?
There must be more than this.

Staring,
At the blank wall,
Thinking of the things that need to be done,
What does it mean?
When the answer is still unclear?
There must be more than this.

Sitting,
In a restaurant,
Eating and chatting through the night,
What does it mean?
When the answer is still unclear?
There must be more than this.

Saying,
Things that encourage,
Bringing momentary calmness and joy,
What does it mean?
When the answer is still unclear?
There must be more than this.

Show me,
The purpose,
The way,
The reason,
The truth.

I know that the answer is out there,
Somewhere.
Somehow, I know I’ll find it.
Make it clear, so that I can make it loud.

Not weird, Just different

2008-02-28T03:49:00.003+08:00

When people are together for too long, they tend to act, dress and become more and more similar. But different people have different taste, view and opinion. We can’t expect those around us to like what we like and dislike what we do not like. For instance, I like to eat Japanese food, but a small group of my friends just can’t take the smell of it. I don’t expect them to follow me for a Japanese buffet.

In the same way, we might dress differently. The definition of cool and fashion depends on our individual view. Some might like to dress Hip-Hop, some just like plain, some like beach wear, some just like to be extreme. It’s a good thing in a way, if not, everyone will dress the same. As long as they dress decently, they are happy with what they are wearing, it shouldn’t be a problem. Some just like to be different; they have their own style of dressing. If we do not like their dressing, let them know our view, if they don’t agree with us, we can’t force our ideas into them. But what we shouldn’t do is to humiliate them in front of everyone else!!!

It is not right to laugh at people’s fault. Many times, we think that our opinion is the right one, the best one maybe. But when you see something that is not right in your eyes, or it doesn’t coincide with our view, don’t be too quick to speak; our mouth is a very powerful tool. “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.” We are to be careful of what we speak. However, - James 3:2 "if anyone makes no mistakes in what he says, he is a perfect man." None of us are perfect, but it will be good to reduce our mistakes.

Sometimes, when we are watching comedy, we laugh, we sometimes laugh when the character hurt themselves in a silly way, we laugh at their stupidity, we laugh at their weird behavior. Well, it doesn’t hurt if they do it on purpose for viewers to laugh, but what happens is sometimes, we do it in reality. They last time I went for a camp, a bunch of children laugh when their friend fell down and hurt herself. Were is the “are you ok?” , “do you need any help”… etc ? I can’t blame them, for I was once like that when I was young. But there is time for us to grow out of our immaturity, our childishness.

Maybe we just want to fit in; everyone else is acting this way anyway. It is not wrong to want to feel accepted, but we must have our own stand. How far are we going to compromise? But I can’t deny that we change a lot when we are around different groups of people. It is a good thing when we are around good company, but what if the other way round? Are we influential or are we to be influenced? Many times it is not enough to rely on our own strength.

What this world needs is for us to stop hiding behind our relevance
Blending in so well that people can't see the difference
And it's the difference that sets the world free
(casting crown - What this world needs)

Football

2008-02-21T05:40:00.003+08:00

A loud roar from the outside.
Followed by some chattering and silence again.
Staying on the 11th floor and able to hear it, am sure there are many excited people down there.

Its the football!!!

Lyon vs. Manchester United.

Well, personally, am not an extreme fan of football, but getting some updates here and there when you reach college. If MU wins, you’ll see many in football jerseys coming to college tomorrow.

Its amazing how people from different background can come together due to common interest, getting along and enjoying the moment together. Can’t deny that this is a sport that can indeed bring people from different culture, believes, age… together.

Well, my friend will come to college the next day with “panda eyes” but will say, “ITS WORTH IT”.

Birthday!!!

2008-02-19T02:54:00.005+08:00

A year older.. ?
Surprise!!! Happy Birthday!!! Cake!!! Gifts!!! Balloons!!!
Now, wish for something.. erm.. closing the eyes, said a short wish and blew the candles.
What do people normally wish for? Good health, wealth, studies, success, peace, husband, joy, friends, family, new wardrobe… ?
The wants are never ending – I want a Golden Retriever, a Samurai Sword, a professional camera, a car… Come to think about it, people around me, are all fully equip. We have wonderful family, good friends, fit body, no financial difficulties, we practically have everything we need. And most of the time more then what we need.

There are certain things that we need to fulfill at different part of our lives. There’s time to study, time to party, time to work… what do I really want this year? To have an obedient heart I would say. Partial obedience is disobedience. Well, there are many things that I have done wrong since I started college life, and way before that. I’m still doing lots of wrong stuff nowadays, but trying + action to have self-control and persevere on. Wanting to live a life of Absolute Obedience to Jesus, the more you want it, the harder the testing? Well, it is worth it if we come to think about it. “Abide in Me and My words abide in you. Ask for whatever you wish and it will be done for you.” Besides that, if we continue to be obedient, we will have peace and joy in our heart. How do we know that what we are doing is right or wrong? Especially in the grey areas. Well, basicly, when we have the peace in our heart.

One bite, two bites, (cake) ops, wasn’t I fasting till tomorrow? Waffle!!! Tracy got me blue berry and chocolate waffle!!! Well, can’t eat now, into the fridge it goes. Why fast when its your birthday? Well, maybe because it reminds me of my purpose here, maybe it reminds me to be thankful, maybe it teaches me that we have to continue to hunger for Him.

When I walked into class today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SERENA!!! (hmmm.. thanks!!! But you’re very early. =D) 5 other people thought that my birthday was today(yesterday). (thanks to Aditya, Nic, Farah and Dila, Big John)Well, a day earlier, but what matters is the heart though.

Thanks Chia Huey, Tean, Tracy, Mervyn, Sam, Richard, Asvin, Art for planning the surprise party!!! And thanks for the so many balloons and gifts and cake and prayers. Thanks for all those birthday messages at 12am sharp – Azeim, Amir, Farah, Albert, Vijay, Daniel, Kelvin, Step… thanks Kay Jin for the prayer, thanks Felix and Carrine, Hui Jin for calling ( i can't talk through phone for long, still working on it) + all the friendster wishes and emails… there are just so many stuff to be thankful for. And there are more to come, $$$ from sis, bro promised to bring me shopping, sisters coming down this weekend…

One year older, one more year of adventure ahead!!!

Give Thanks

2008-02-12T02:13:00.000+08:00

If we can only give thanks on Thanksgiving, then it must be thanks giving throughout the year.
If we have to write down what we want to be thankful for, then it must be a very long list.

Looking back on what happened all these years, beginning to understand more, there are really too many things to be thankful for.

Life might not be a smooth sail, there might be mild wind shaking us on the way and there might be strong wind that makes us tremble, but along the journey, there are yet many things to be thankful for.

When the nations crumble
The Word of the Lord will stand
Kings may rise and fall
His love will endure
Though the strong may stumble
The joy of the Lord is strength
To my soul
I will not be shaken (Delirious - i will not be shaken)

A simple thank you might not mean a lot. But if we make it a habit to say thank you for even the smallest thing in life, and less complain, won’t this place we’re living in be much brighter, much more colorful, much more meaningful?

A list of what we are thankful about?
1. …
2. Cool Friends
3. Children around
4. Calmness in the heart
5. Caring People
6. …
7. Down pouring rain
8. Days and Nights
9. Dogs
10. Delicious food
11. …
12. Family
13. Fine Results
14. Fabulous Church
15. Fantastic ups and downs
16. Financial
17. ...

Psalm 107:1
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Colossians 4:2
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

Here comes Chinese New Year, a big spring cleaning, accompanied by big fat Angpow and Big Makan.

New year, new resolution. For those who miss it, Chinese New Year is another chance to make some resolution, another chance to reinforce what we have decided to achieve in this year 2008, another chance to mend broken relations, another chance to undo what we’ve become, another chance to step forward and experience a breakthrough.

May everyone have joy, peace, prosperity, health and abundance in life and an awesome year ahead!!!
Happy Chinese New Year to all =D

Voice Of Truth - Casting Crown

2008-01-17T06:04:00.000+08:00

Voice Of Truth - Casting Crown

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

but the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
i will soar with the wings of eagles
when i stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for my glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are

An effective conversation takes 2 parties to participate. One will speak and the other must listen. To build a healthy relationship, it also takes 2 parties. In a relationship, listening plays a very important role. Sometimes when I call my friends with a random number, they can tell that it’s me without me introducing myself. When you are close enough with someone or when you are around someone long enough, we are able to recognize the voice. In the same way, if we maintain a close relationship with God, we will able to recognize His voice.

John 10:3
The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.

When we are down and all things seem to be crashing down, not everyone have our family to uphold us, not everyone have friends by our side, but all of us have God, He speaks words of encouragement into our life. He sends people to us when we are down. He comforts us, listen to us, care for us, lead us and guide us. But we have to learn to listen to the correct voice. Listen and believe.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

WHO AM I

2008-01-14T05:59:00.000+08:00

Who am I – Casting Crown

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

* we will not be able to know who we are unless we find the purpose of God in our life. Are we here to make big bucks? Are we here to just have fun? Are we here to make friends? There are many the plans in our heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

Exodus 9:16
But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.

A life of PURPOSE is not without effort. But we must ask ourselves, "Which is the better rosebush, that with the fewest thorns or that with the finest roses?" Toil, pain, and sweat are the birthplace of greatness. Let's not spend time; let's use it; use it to make a difference. If we make a difference to the world, won't we also make a difference to ourselves? If the world is happy that we are here, won't we feel the same way? Perhaps this is why Zig Ziglar offers the following advice: "Don't become a wandering generality. Be a meaningful specific." – Robert Byrne

One of the goal for this year, -- find the purpose of God in us. =D

CHRISTMAS GIFT

2007-12-22T01:09:00.006+08:00

Christmas time is near. Who said that Christmas is not about gifts? Only when you love, you’ll give. And because of LOVE, a precious gift is given to us many many years ago.

A gift of HOPE.
The Biblical definition of "hope" is "confident expectation." Hope is a firm assurance regarding things that are unclear and unknown (Romans 8:24-25; Hebrews 11:1,7). Hope is a fundamental component of the life of the righteous (Proverbs 23:18). Without hope, life loses its meaning (Lamentations 3:18, Job 7:6) and in death there is no hope (Isaiah 38:18, Job 17:15). The righteous who trust or put their hope in God will be helped (Psalm 28:7) and they will not be confounded, put to shame, or disappointed (Isaiah 49:23). The righteous who have this trustful hope in God have a general confidence in God's protection and help (Jeremiah 29:11), and are free from fear and anxiety (Psalm 46:2-3).

Yup, that’s the theme for this Christmas in my church, a gift of hope.
His love is unfailing, He came, He gave, and He saves.
Gave us the purpose to live for, give us the hope in life.

The famous story, talking about The Birth of Jesus, The Shepherds and the Angels.
-“Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.”
-"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

But don’t let it merely be a story that you hear once in a year, lets treasure the real purpose of it and share it with those around. It’s a gift for us even before we are born. A gift that is meant to be shared, a gift that is enough for all, a gift that will never disappoint, a gift that will overflow.

Along with faith and love, hope is an enduring virtue of the Christian life (1 Corinthians 13:13) and love springs from hope (Colossians 1:4-5). Hope produces joy and peace in believers through the power of the Spirit (Romans 12:12, 15:13). Paul attributes his apostolic calling to the hope of eternal glory (Titus 1:1-2). Hope in the return of Christ is the basis for believers to purify themselves in this life (Titus 2:11-14, 1 John 3:3).

A child is born, we can now continue to have love, faith and hope. What better gift can there be?
Here’s a nice song that we often sing. Titled A GIFT. Not a new song but its certainly a good one.

一件礼物

有一件礼物，你收到没有，
眼睛看不到，你心会知道，
这一件礼物，心门外等候，
是为了你准备，别人不能收。

生命有限，时光也会走，
如果你不珍惜，机会难留，
礼物虽然好，如果你不要，
你怎么能够得到，怎么能得到？

亲爱的朋友，你是否想到，
马槽的婴孩是为你而来，
亲爱的朋友，你是否了解，
最好的朋友是人子主耶稣。

生命有限，时光也会走，
如果你不珍惜，机会难留，
礼物虽然好，如果你不要，
你怎么能够得到，怎么能得到？

Let’s receive this precious priceless gift and treasure it together. The best gift you could ever have.

Merry Jolly CHRISTMAS everyone!!! =D

Wherever I am, You are there

2007-12-04T05:56:00.000+08:00

When I feel helpless, You help me.
When I am sad, You comfort me.
When I am lost, You found me.
When I am lonely, You are beside me.
When I am down, You hear me out.
When I am happy, You bring more joy.

You love me,
You know me,
You fill me,
You complete me,
You care for me.
YOU ARE THE CENTER.

What else do I want more?
I know that no matter what happens,
You are always watching over me! =D

Keep the house clean!!!

2007-12-02T20:39:00.001+08:00

Me dun like tiny flies,
Me dun like fly eggs,
Me certainly dun like cleaning them..

Me dun wanna live in a place full of rubbish,
Me wan a clean place,
Me no need an expensive place,
Me having a clean place will be good enough.

Me have clean place, Me healthy.
Me healthy, Me happy.
Me happy, Me study =D

* Broken English....

Evaluation time

2007-11-16T12:14:00.000+08:00

There are times that we just feel uneasy; something is playing in our mind. But the worst is we don’t know what the thing that is bothering us is.

1. What comes first in our life? Well, the answer is of cause God. But often, when people start serving, and be too engrossed, they might loose focus or I would like to say focusing on the wrong thing. With me, it all started with God - serving Him, doing His work, just happy being there with Him. But at times, it feels like I’m trying to please other people rather than Him. But we can connect the situation like, that person loves Him, so if you help that person, indirectly, you are pleasing Him. What I mean is that the things we are doing is not wrong, but we still do it out of the inconvenience, they might not know, but I’m pretty sure that He knows what’s in our heart. But are we really trying to please Him or please human? Often, we need to just sit down and evaluate.

2. Practice makes perfect. But when you are practicing the wrong thing, you’ll be perfectly doing the wrong thing. And in the long run, it’ll turn into routine and before you know it, it’ll be a habit. For example, when someone wants to play guitar, he has minimum knowledge of what is going on. If he continues to practice the wrong way, he’ll be the guitarist that is perfectly playing in the wrong beat all the time. And all his practices are some sort of useless. All he needs is someone good to be able to take some time out and teach. And when he practices the right thing, with the same amount of time, he might turn into a good guitarist. All I’m saying is that if we practice the right thing, we can be a master of it and when we practice the wrong thing, we might turn out to be the master of disaster. So, maybe we should sit down and evaluate if we are practicing the right things in life.

3. Everything in life had been easy for you. You have been the most popular person around, you have been the smartest person around, and everyone loves you. What if one day, when you go to a new place, everyone ignores you, all that you do is insignificant to them, you are not as smart as you used to be and things around seem to fall apart, and suddenly, you are a nobody. Well, it will be quite an impact I would say. But never the least, just be yourself, do the things that is good and continue to walk the righteous way. People noticing our presence is not that important after all. When no one is watching, we know that He’ll be there to lead us, guide us, and is always there for us. Maybe its time for us to sit down and evaluate our actions and if you’re right, don’t change for the sake of fitting in.

* Am finally back home. Having lots of time to evaluate and ponder about the things that have been going around. Sometimes, in our hectic lives, we might want to take some time out and just look at things around. Maybe there are more good around that you think there are.

Second last paper for the year

2007-11-15T05:28:00.000+08:00

Second last paper today =D. It has been some time now since my exams started. There’s just something within, troubling, confusing, can’t be explained.

Well, maybe this is just a phase that everyone has to go through. But I know that as long as I continue to have faith and continue to trust, He will indeed provide the best for each and everyone of us. But its His timing. Just continue to wait upon Him patiently.

Am going back to Ipoh today, a place where everything is planned out for you, a place where you know that everyone cares, a place you know that they will be by your side when you are down, a place where you know that anything comes your way, people around you will defend and support you till the very end. A place where you know that love is everywhere, a place where you can be still, a place that you can rest, a place where you can call HOME. =D

2007-11-14T08:22:00.000+08:00

New day,
New beginning!!!
It will be a great and fruitful day!!!
I will rejoice and be glad in it. =D
Thank God for all that He had restored for me =D
All i need to do is step out and proclaim it.
Today will indeed be a good day!!!
I believe!!!
I hope and I have faith!!!

Yesterday is history
And history is miles away
So leave it all behind you
Let it always remind you of the day
The day that love made history

You know you can't stay right where you fell
The hardest part is forgiving yourself
But let's take a walk into today
And don't let your past get in the way
Matthew West (HISTORY)

2007-11-13T15:53:00.000+08:00

I like physics.
I like Subang.
I like the weather.
I like the house.
I like the library.
I like you.
I like myself.

A thinking of a person who is about to go crazy or a person who looks at things positively?

Focus

2007-11-12T21:29:00.001+08:00

Focus!!!
Don't think about anything else!!!
Just focus!!!
I say focus!!!
I'm focusing!!!
Yeap, keep telling yourself that!!!
Oooi, focus!!!
... focus lar...!!!
k k .. Focus!!!
Focusing to focus!!!
Ya lar... focus!!!

Decide!!!

2007-11-11T01:01:00.000+08:00

“I realized that you don’t like to make decisions”

How can someone make a decision when you know that all your current choices will lead to nothing but miseries?
How can you make a choice when you have totally no knowledge about the situation? or limited knowledge?
How can you make a decision when you know that either party will get hurt? Or will be offended.

But then in life, there are many times that we have to decide in life. And we have to live with the consequences. Its not fair to leave it to others to make decisions in your life. Learn to make decisions, learn to take responsibilities. Learn to set the pros and cons and make decisions even though you have to live with the cons. If everything is as easy as a pancake, where’s the excitement anyways?

It always seems easier when we don’t have to make a decision. But life goes on, and the decisions we make now determines our future. Thanks for that statement and thanks for reminding.

Home

2007-11-10T14:51:00.000+08:00

I don't want to stay here anymore... i just want to go home!!!

Voices

2007-11-10T03:00:00.000+08:00

Voice 1:
What good are you here? It makes no difference. Where is the restart button? Or even better, the delete button in life. You have done nothing much but brought people heart ache and miseries into their life. What’s the point of being good to everyone when you yourself are not feeling good? You’ve been a hypocrite without any personalities. You’ve done many things that you know you shouldn’t have done. Quit trying to be good. Quit smiling when you’re sad. Quit being good to people. Its not like they can’t live without you. Stop trying to be a good person. There are more outside then the naïve world that you are living in. You’ve been weak since you came here. You never cried back then. What made you a weakling? What’s good of you when you still perform badly even after so much effort and planning and preparation? I just want to leave this place. What would it be like if you have never come here? All your close friends are leaving one by one anyways. There’s no one here that really cares, they have their own life to live. Perhaps its time for you to leave this place as well. Nothing worth dwelling. Anyways, this place always makes you sick. Just leave everything behind. Don’t bother, not a single soul will even realize.

Voice 2:
Think about all the good things that had happened here. Think about all the awesome people around. Those who are forever encouraging and will always spend time and be with you. Think about how you’ve grown spiritually since you came here. Think about all the people that were happy because of you. Think about the difference you have made. You’re not weak, you’re improving. Your time here might be a challenge but you will surely have a year of increase ahead. Continue to believe. Continue to have faith and hope. Continue to give. Continue to take responsibilities. You know you can’t turn back time but you can surely make up for the lost time. There are still many friends here. You have everything here. Everything is provided for you. What else do you expect more? Learn to be thankful. Learn to have commitment. Learn from your mistakes and stop criticizing yourself. Continue to live happily and make the best out of the time you have left here.

There are many voices telling us different things in life. How we feel and act often depends on which voices we follow… But for now, I just want to go HOME!!! It’s a peaceful place where you know that all things are planned out for you and that you have nothing to worry about.

Decision Making

2007-11-09T00:14:00.000+08:00

There are many things in life that lead us to make decisions. How to decide? For whom your decisions are based upon? What is the solution?

Do upon others what you want others to do unto you.
You know that this is not what you want people to treat you if future. But your decision might bring benefits to others. Hurting one person deeply and pleasing others, can this be justified? What is ‘correct decision?’ Of cause it first has to be pleasing in God’s eyes. After that, which come next - Our close ones, or the third party, or me?

But there are pros and cons in all decisions we make. Are we supposed to make the decision that pleases the most people? Are we supposed to make the decision that brings us most benefit? Are we suppose to make the decision based on the long run and short run cost and benefit – private and external? Or do we just let it be and follow the flow? Well, different situation requires different ways of handling it. We can come to the same conclusion despite the different route taken. However, the journey taken does matter.

Sometimes things might be hard to decide. Are our decisions being disrespectful, arrogant, selfish, hypocritical … haih… Its just hard to please everyone, especially when all sides are neutral. I realized that from every different angle you look, there are just different translations of our actions. Even history is different based on who is telling the story.

Study the people God brought into your life. Some need encouragement, time, space, affirmation… It takes an unselfish person to do this upon other person. If every of your friend needs half an hour from you everyday. What is the maximum level of friends you can fit in then? Of cause we can’t calculate it this way. But some choices we make tend to push some away and bring some closer to us.

Simple things we do can make a great difference. A simple explanation will keep us out of lots of troubles. Much of this can be avoided when we are able to make a simple and firm decision.

To be bad for once or to feel bad forever? To satisfy which party? There is always opportunity cost. Who should we seek direction from? 1. God (are we actually listening?) 2. Our family. 3. Our leaders. 4. Our trusted friend.

Some decisions just take longer time to make – for example, who to marry, how to budget for the year… But some should take a shorter time – what to eat, what time should I sleep… But some are just stuck in the grey area.

Conclusion, the longer we drag, the more difficult the situation MIGHT turn out to be. Make a firm decision and be committed to it.

Little things in Life

2007-11-07T19:42:00.000+08:00

Human just like to complain. The hundreds of good things you do for them, they sometimes just rather remember the few wrongs you did. Haih…
Learn!!! Learn to see even the small things that people do. Don’t just complain!!! People might be tired hearing us complain day and night.
And when the things has pass, just let it go. Don’t keep it in your mind forever. Something are good to remember. But people’s fault, as long as they are willing to change, don’t penalize them if they accidentally do it once or twice, as long as they are aware of it.
Sometimes, we tend to overlook the good things people do for us. They do it everyday, it becomes a habit. And we often forget to thank them. it has become such a usual routine that we often overlooked their kindness.
But that’s not the real thing I want to share.

Here’s just something I wanted to share:
That day, my dad was driving us back to Ipoh. I always fall asleep in the car. Every time we travel, I will just doze off. This time, it was night. Well, its not the first time we travel at night, in fact, we do it very often. But this time, I tried to stay up for the whole journey. TRIED. It wasn’t easy. I think I dose off here and there and eventually fell asleep. Only then I realize that its not an easy thing to drive a long journey, especially at night. Everything left and right seems the same. Not easy to focus and stay alert the whole journey.
I was just amazed. Every time I get into the car, I know that I’ll reach my destination safely. And as time pass, I took it for granted.
I’ll always say thank you after every journey. Often, it was said too easily. I mean, you are brought up saying it. So its basically already programmed in you.
Such a wonderful thing people do for us. =D
Am just so so so blessed =D

TURN IT AROUND - Israel

2007-11-04T05:54:00.000+08:00

[Verse One:]
All things are possible for you
All things are possible
Nothing's too difficult for you
Nothing's to difficult
I'm ready for change
Ready for rain
Ready for favor I know you able to

[Chorus:]
Turn it around
Open the windows of Heaven
Pour out a blessing overflow
Turn it around
Open the windows of Heaven
Pour out a blessing
We cannot contain
Let it rain
Let it rain

[Vamp:]
You have turned
My mourning to dancing
You've turned
My sorrow to joy
You have turned
My whole life around
Thank you
Thank you Lord

Lagging life

2007-11-01T19:49:00.000+08:00

We are loved we cared.
Some more than the others.
It’s up to us to choose how we want to live.

Hit when the iron is hot.
Don’t let opportunities escape.

Carpe diem,
Seize the day!!
Play hard, Study hard, work hard and pray hard!!!

Draw the line now, look at it clearly.
Make sure that we’ll be far better then where we are now.

Release ourselves from any bondage,
Proclaim the blessing set ahead.

Choose to live an abundant life!!!

* My mind has been lagging these few days. Maybe because there are too many routines going on. Maybe I’m just lazy. Maybe … Wake UP!!! Look ahead!!! No point regretting later. Set your Focus right!!!

Time Of Change

2007-10-29T13:10:00.000+08:00

It might be hard to let go,
it might be hard to face the fact,
it might be hard to think,
it might be hard to wait.

Are we willing to sacrifice?
Are we willing to evaluate?
Are we willing to set things right?
Are we willing to face the consequences?

Is this really glorifying Him?
Is this what I want for my life?
Is this the right move?
Is this the best that have to be done?

Why can’t the answer be clear?
Why can’t there be only 1 choice?
Why can’t I just remain?
Why can’t someone decide for me?

Maybe the best is to wait
Maybe there is a happily ever after.
Maybe I can really walk on water.
Maybe that’s the right path.

Up grade to a better future
Down to a better path
Left behind are those miseries
Right to the path where God leads

*there might be some part of life that we know that things have to change. We know that what is going on is not right. But we are often not willing to change. What are we afraid off? Are we afraid of what people around us will think about us? Are we afraid to leave our comfort zone? Are we afraid to take up the challenge?

“Why does the past always seem safer?
Maybe because at least we know me made it
And why do we worry about the future?
When every day will come just the way the Lord ordained it.”
(Chris Rice – 8th grade)

I'm a WORM

2007-10-26T11:53:00.000+08:00

I’m a worm.
You might see me,
You might not.

I’m a worm,
Too much of me,
I’m in your mood.
Without me,
It won’t be good.

I’m a worm,
Earthworm,
I’m everywhere.

I’m a worm,
Tapeworm,
Living in you.

I’m a worm,
Hookworm,
Not letting you go.

I’m a worm,
Roundworm,
Eat eat and eat.

I’m a worm,
Jaw worm,
Always smiling.

I’m a warm,
Tongue worm,
Talking non-stop.

I’m a worm,
Peanut worm,
But I can think.

I’m a worm,
Arrow Worm,
Always watching.

I’m a worm,
Ribbon worm,
Brings colour into life.

I’m a worm..

Listen to the silence

2007-10-26T00:17:00.000+08:00

People come, people go,
Houses built, trees gone,
River flow, rubbish filled,
Nations flourish, nations fall,
Being part of it yet not understanding it.
But life goes on.

Actions taken, cannot be undone,
Words said cannot be kept back.
But there is still hope, hopefully,
Struggling to get out of struggle,
Staying alert dodging troubles.

Broken glass cannot be mended,
A new one might not be the same.
Trials comes lesson learned,
Series of uncertainty are tackled.
The choices are in our hand.

When all seem dim,
Find the light,
When all seem lost,
Ask for direction.
When all are gone,
Look forward.
Keep holding on.
He will lead.

The light is the brightest when all are dark.
The color is brought out when all are pale.
The voice is the loudest around silence.
The power is strongest when we are weak.
Faith is stretched when we are challenged.

Too many choices,
Too many decisions,
Too many uncertainties,
Could the best step be not doing anything?
Just listen.
Listen.
Listening…
The unspoken words,
The leafy path,
Maybe it’s the path,
It’s the path,
The path we never noticed.
Learn to listen in the silence.
He will provide.
No worries.

Walking on a log

2007-10-23T20:05:00.000+08:00

What comes into your mind when you see a dad carrying his son walking on a log in water, performing? Father and son. He later turned around and rolled the other way with his son on his shoulders. I saw this article on the papers but can’t seem to find the same picture.

Do we applause and say, wow, what a good performance. Stand there, amazed by what was going on.
Or do we see
The great crowd around
Or do we see
The way he is able to balance and try to calculate in physical term the reason he can walk on such a log
Or are we just
Staring to see if he is going to fall, are we there to try to find fault
Or do we see
The struggle, the tension upon the man that he is trying his best to give his best performance to the audience
Or do we see
The little boy, naïve, not knowing what is happening around
Or do we see
A irresponsible, putting his son in great risk
Or do we see
The effort of a father, trying to make ends meet for the family? The unwillingness of him risking his son’s life but have to do so just to make a few pennies per day. The heart of the father, that he is trying his best not to drop his son. The unwritten story about his family. The hope in him that there will be a better future for his family.

We often see what is on the surface. But do we really know what is inside? Some might me smiling all the time, is that who they are inside? Some might treat you badly, is this the way they are trying to make you tougher? Some may keep a distance from you, is this the way they are trying to ask you to put more effort if you want to keep this friendship? Different people have their own point of view. In the same way, the stories in HISTORY depends on who is telling the story. But who is there to judge?

Nightmare

2007-10-22T02:40:00.000+08:00

Waking up from a nightmare, can’t sleep back, but it is still early.

It caught me thinking, what do we do when we know that everyone around us are doing the things that are not right? Weird = being the add one out from the norm. Being the weird one around, how do we make a change? Of cause it will be easier to follow the flow. For certain things, I would actually follow the flow. But what about the things that you know it is bad. Bad. Bad.
Well, since everyone is doing the same thing, it doesn’t make it right. But after compromising, it might fall into the gray spot. But sometimes, we just know that we can’t compromise. If we start, it will trigger the start of a big down fall.
No character? Sometimes we just have to make our stand.
Logical thinking, counting the pros and cons, it is certainly more worth it to stand with the majority. But as all CBA(cost-benefit analysis), we have to start putting shadow pricing. What is the price of losing a big group of your friends? What is the price of standing up for what you think is right? What is the price of the difference that you might make in the future?
Many times in life we compromise too much. Knowing that what we do is wrong, but not wrong in society. Knowing that what our friends are doing is wrong, but we can’t change them. Knowing that we have to do and not doing it. But KNOWING and DOING is different!!!
Of cause in all cases that we seem to be the odd one out, seem to be the only one believing in what we believe, seem to be fighting alone. WE ARE NOT ALONE.
It will not be easy for us the stand up and make a difference. But we will not be alone doing it. We might be the minority, but at least we know that we are doing the right thing.

Perseverance is important. The start might be difficult. But we must persevere so that we might be mature and complete.

How is this related with my dream? I just can’t forget the last scene, everyone looking at me like I’m a total weirdo. Its not easy to have people looking at us like that but we have to do what we have to do. The cost in the short run might be very taxing but do we not see what the long run benefit would be?

Confucius: Quotes on Making a DifferenceTo put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.

Pleasing people?

2007-10-21T00:22:00.000+08:00

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is definitely to please everybody.
-Bill Cosby-

Really? My friend just read to me, from some personality test, “you are easy to get along, people will like you, but you lack personality”. Hmmm… really?
But when we care, when we love, when we are concern, do we not try our best to please them?

I know we don’t study for our parents. But do we not try to do the things that they like? Do we not stay out of trouble and not make them worry? Do we not do our best is studies, do we not call home, do we not do the things that is pleasing to their eyes?

But of cause in the mist of doing these things we must have discernment and not follow blindly.

What about when it comes to friends? Even though it is inconvenient for us, we will still go an extra mile to care for them. Spending time with them when they are down, being with them when they are lonely, take care of them when they are sick… so many things that we do to please them, or at least we think will please them…

But is it really very hard to please everyone? It also depends on the company you mix with. Everyone smoke, do you follow just to please them? They are big spender, do you follow them? They go to indecent places and dresses unpleasantly… If we try to please them by following them, are we not foolish?

Please everyone, not possible? But I think we should try our best to please our love ones, those we care about. And WALK IN LOVE =D

*Question :
3 big problems in life, first, being relationships, second being health, third being finances.
TRUE or FALSE?

Christmas is near =D

2007-10-18T04:28:00.000+08:00

Is it too early to think about Christmas? Christmas is not all about snow, pine tree, present, reindeer, santa… its more about giving. Is it not better to see the smile on other’s face?

What do we really want for Christmas?

What can we give this Christmas?

For those who are away from home, Christmas is all in the heart =D

There is nothing wrong with preparing a long long list and trying to post it to North Pole though. =D

Can I wish everyone Merry Christmas now? Hmmm… might freak them out. Hehhehehe…. Maybe sometime later. =D

Really can’t wait for Christmas. I know that this Christmas will never be the same. Something is going to happen, something good. Keeping my hopes high =D

Long Distance Relationships

2007-10-16T21:25:00.000+08:00

Can it come to past? Will it be the same? Distance, Will it build or will it destroy? Well, too many conditions to consider. Too many factors affecting it.

What do we need?
Trust, faithfulness, hope, love, faith, perseverance, patience, commitment, time, friends, family… etc etc…

My friend just told me, no matter how busy you are, you have to communicate with the other individual.
For those out there who are having long distance relationship, Gambateh!!! It can work!!! Find ways of effective communication. Let the distance be a test for this relationship. View it as a relationship with a high enthalpy change without any catalyst. Even graphite can turn into diamond. Nothing is impossible =D

Physics, couple = 2 forces which are same in magnitude but opposite in direction, whose line of action does not coincide.
So even the direction is not the same, it will still take both to make a rotational motion, which can be viewed as the circle of life. =D

But can I say that if you are not willing to commit, DON’T START!!! But who am I to say it? =D

But remember, God is still the center.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matt 6:33

Here In My Life

2007-10-15T22:46:00.000+08:00

I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet
But at Your word Lord
I receive Your faith
To walk on oceans deep
And I remember
How You found me
In that very same place
All my failings
Surely would have drowned me
But You made a way

You are my freedom
Jesus You’re the reason
I’m kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be
Without You here in my life
Here in my life

You have said that all the heavens
Sing for joy at one who finds
The way to freedom
Truth of Jesus
Bought from death into His life
And I remember
How You saw me
Through the eyes of Your grace
And though the cost was
Your beloved for me
Still You made a way

You are my freedom
Jesus You’re the reason

*This is a very lovely song =D Freedom!!! He's the reason =D

Morning Prayer Group

2007-10-15T07:25:00.000+08:00

This is my college’s lovely prayer group. I have been part of it since I came to college. Started as a very small group behind the cafeteria and then later on towards the end of 2006, we found out that there is another group gathered at SAM’s garden. Merging the prayer group made it much bigger. =D

I’ve been consistent for quite some time but was missing in action for a few months, about July till early Sept. But in the mid of September, something keeps on bugging me… there’s like a voice in my head or maybe its my conscience… but it is sure a good one. It brought me back to prayer group. Explaining why I stop going, I can’t really explain it too. Too many things came crashing at my doorstep. Only a few tend to be able to see it though. Maybe I build the wall too high, maybe I just don’t want them to worry, maybe I just feel safer when I handle things my way, or even maybe I just like to keep it to myself.

I soon came to realize that it is not about me. It is about the testimony that I’ll be. It’s about if I can glorify His name with my actions. I realized that getting too used to the surrounding might not be a good thing. We might be standing there serving, but is our heart really there? Many times we need to evaluate ourselves. Are we doing for the right purpose? Is it right in the eyes of God? Or am I doing it because of the sense of duty? Is smiling outside means that we are alright in the inside? I always feel better after a long long time of prayer. Come humbly before the Lord is very important. Just pouring out everything to Him. Its hard to stand up alone. But sometimes, when we are alone only then we can see the whole picture. We can see what went wrong. But He is always watching over us. Every time when I feel like a failure, I know that he will lift me up again.

There were too many things on my mind. But I just realized that the more we try to take control, the more it will add to our burden. The harder we try, the more complicated it feels. I know that He has a plan for me, a plan even beyond my imagination. Maybe for certain things, it is better for me not think about it, He will provide when the time is right. Maybe for certain things I need to put in more effort. Maybe for certain things I need to spend more time doing it.

Many people see the surface of things. But I know that He sees the inside.

1 My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Psalms 62:1-2

Econs and Chem in relationship

2007-10-13T13:54:00.001+08:00

What would you do when 2 or more people are coming after you? Knowing that they are all good people, not wanting to hurt anyone’s feeling, who should you choose or how do you choose?
Knowing that your current bf which you have known for about 2 years, who is loving, caring, but you often have much fight, misunderstanding, lack of trust and faith. But yet, the time spent, the things that you have been through, the love that you experience, the things that you are willing to sacrifice for him, you can never forget it.
One the other hand came an almost perfect guy, smart, honest, always willing to care and is always there when you needed help. One that you know for certain will not let you down, one that will surely be there in time of need, one that has a bright future in front of him.
What should the girl do? Wanting to be friends with guy2 might be giving him false hope might send the wrong signal to him, but she doesn’t want to risk her friendship. Yet somewhere is her, she is uncertain of how she feels about him. So, what should she do? To be unfaithful or to be realistic? Economics coming in, to take into account of the long run cost and benefits, to take into account the opportunity cost... But make a decision, don't leave both of them hanging...

And as a friend, what advice should we give?
Are we suppose to draw out a CBA(cost-benefit analysis)? Is there protectionism? What about the diplomatic relations?
Maybe the Hess’ Law is applied here. (A chemical reaction is the same whether the change is brought about in one stage or through intermediate stages. In other words, you will come to the same ending no matter which route you are taking.)
Will it be easier to choose your partner is formula is given? For example you can solve it by using E=mc2?
[the elements of pray, follow the word of God, seek for guidance, ask more matured people about their opinion should be included as well…etc…etc…]

*Just some random economics and chemistry added into BGR. =D

Evaluation

2007-10-13T00:28:00.000+08:00

This is very interesting, because here is the place where people point out your wrongs. There is nothing wrong to tell a person that he/she is not good enough, that what they are doing is wrong, and that you can’t stand what they are doing.

Well, in the process of doing so, we have to take care of what they are feeling. But this doesn’t mean telling them that settling for second best is ok.

Which do we prefer?
1. “Hey, you did badly this time; I think you are not putting enough effort. Why don’t you try spending more time and buck up on your skills?”
2. “Hey, you didn’t do that bad. I’m sure you’ll do be much more skillful as day pass by.”

Well, both carry the same meaning. But which one will give the individual a push, an urge to do better?

Doing this, we have to look at different individuals as well. As in if they will take it in a positive way or what we say is going to discourage them. There are many factors that have to be taken into account as we are talking. Out of our mouth come the thoughts of our heart.

We, as the person that is listening have to take all accusations and opinion positively. There is always room for improvement. They are not trying to put us down; these are just pointers to help us to be a better being.

Are we some times not truthful enough? Maybe we are trying to care about their feelings; we do not want to say anything that may jeopardize the relationship. But come to think about it, the more you care, the more we are suppose to encourage each other and hope for them to improve.

But this doesn’t mean that whatever they say is 100% correct. We are also given wisdom to discern. We have to think for our own and not follow blindly. If what they say is correct, change, learn from our mistake. This might not take place in a day or two. It might take a long time but when there’s a will there’s always a way. But if what they say is not right, stand up for our own right.

There are many opinions on different things. The way we look at things might be different. Evaluation is a good way to see if we are on the right track. Looking for room of improvements and working towards it. =D

Chain Of Incidents

2007-10-11T23:20:00.000+08:00

What else can go wrong? I was very home sick yesterday, everyone is going home for Raya, at least most of them. But that is not the story for today.
Today was the first day of exam, pretty exciting, woke up later then usual. Going into the lab, all set, the reagents are all on my table as they only have limited space in the lab and was left lift with little place to work with.
I sort of started the “breaking chain”. First, I broke the burette, then my Bunsen burner was not functioning, then later the specimen bottle broke. Later, my lab partner on the tap and my paper was wet. The reagents given were not enough and I needed more. Later, I realized that I was running out of time and started writing the wrong stuff on my paper. What more can go wrong?
Maybe I wasn’t prepared enough for the paper. Maybe I wasn’t focus enough. Maybe I was just too slow. Maybe I am just not smart enough. But in everything, there is surely something to be thankful about. hmmm... I’m just glad that no one was hurt throughout the experiments and that at least I finished the paper.
What a way to start the exam…

Then came the question from Azeim, what if we can’t make it? What if we can’t fly? What if we can’t meet the requirement…

BoyMeetsGirl

2007-10-09T20:50:00.000+08:00

It has been some time since I last read a book from page to page besides my magazines and text books. This is a very interesting book, the initial reason I read it is because I borrowed it for too long and it isn’t so good to return without reading it. But after a while, I slowly feel in love in the book. Sitting in the library thinking, should I do chemistry or finish this book first. So I finally decided to read the book for the first 15 minutes I step into the library. Is there such thing as book addict? How I wish it could happen to my chemistry book as well too. ;p

I like the content of the book. It is about “God as the center”. The term courtship is nothing new to me, everyone who knows Uncle Jason will know this term. But after reading this book, it caught me thinking; it brought my thoughts a step further, it’s written in a very simple manner and yet carries much truth in it.

Well, the one thing that I really agree is that we must be patient. Don’t rush!!! Even tough I often rush in under many circumstances – work, studies, learning… but this is something rushing 100% won’t help. There is nothing wrong with starting the relationship being just friends, in that way, we can be more of ourselves. It is good to wait upon the Lord. with beautiful leaves and abundant fruit, providing food for all, giving shelter to the beasts of the field, and having nesting places in its branches for the birds of the air. What more us? I know God has a plan for each and everyone of us.
Some friends might come to us when they face relationship problems. We try our best to listen and encourage in ways that we can.

I really thank God for pulling me back as I pass the line, went over the limit. He loves us!!! As long as we repent, learn from our lesson and learn to lean on Him, He will be there for us. Having regrets, feeling the guilt, what can I do? It is not that easy to forget, but our faults may be a reminder to us in our future and by His grace we can get up, having a new chance to live a new life.

After reading this book, looking around, there are actually not many who follow courtship. What can we do when we know our friends are not doing the right thing? They have known each other for years and we are just old strangers or new friends to them. So far, I only know of a few that are willing to take courtship seriously, or plan to have one. Percentage wise, I can say it is lest then 1%. But I know that if they continue seek and pray faithfully, God will indeed provide the best for them.

There is no such thing as 1 way for a long lasting relationship. But for all those out there who are still single, still seeking, courtship is certainly a good formula to have a happy and long relationship leading to marriage. =D

Do everything in love

2007-10-08T18:00:00.000+08:00

I found it, I found it =D

Here’s a verse that I saw about 2 weeks ago. But I did not bookmark it and was searching for it for quite some time. And finally, I found it =D

Do everything in love.
1 Corinthians 16 : 14

It’s a very short verse. But it is very meaningful. Think about it, if everyone does everything in love, won’t this place be a much better place to live in?

What will you choose?

2007-10-06T01:31:00.000+08:00

Make everyone happy by doing what they like
Or
Be happy yourself but disliked by others

Sleep when you are extremely tired
Or
Stay awake to help your friend throughout the night

Telling straight to your friend that you don’t agree with them
Or
Just compromise and try to make them happy

Save up a few meals so that you are able to bless others
Or
Just eat, not that they are expecting much for us anyways

Tell the person you like them and risking the friendship
Or
Be happy for them even when they are with others

Being in a funeral to console your friend
Or
Appear in you long planned birthday

Speaking out your thoughts not caring that you’ll hurt others
Or
Keep quite and contain the debates in our own heart

To be happy
Or
To see people happy

Disturb others when you are bored
Or
Stay bored and let them use their time more usefully?

* These are random stuff that doesn’t really make much sense and is written when I’m half asleep.

Unknown Ringing

2007-10-05T07:03:00.000+08:00

“Ring Ring… Ring Ring… Ring Ring” I just wish that I can pick up this call and find out who’s on the other side of the line. Is this a chat room or a direct phone call from one individual? Well, this is an invisible phone, just something in my head, I think its my conscience. Or is it my imagination? Or … I’m also not sure. Its just that random thoughts and random action just take place nowadays.

Having two random people who doesn’t know each other telling me the same thing. DEATH! Well, is death just statistics? Well, when we open our newspaper, it does come in numbers if that is what it means. The thing that these two individuals pointed out and asked me a similar question. “What do you what to be remembered as when you die?” I have heard these countless time since I don’t remember when. I always thought that it is just been a normal topic to motivate you, telling you that you can’t control the time so make the best out of it… don’t have any regrets when you pass away. I’m not sure why, but something is not right, why is it running around in my brain? Why can’t it just settle in the neuron and stay there?

The second ringing, it’s the Jabez prayer. I know this prayer by heart, since young, my mum always recite it to me. Two more individuals’ sort of touch on this topic and once again, why is it running around in my head? Am I supposed to learn something? Or know something? Is there a hidden meaning that I should know of? Is there a easier solution or calculation that I can use or is there a formula that I have not learned? All things are connected one way or another. But are these just random thoughts or is there something that I need to take note of?

甚願你賜福與我，

擴張我的境界，

常與我同在，

保佑我不遭患難，不受艱苦。

歷代志上4：10

Well, I can’t really read everything above but I’m sure the copy and paste is correct. =D

The third ring in my head… Well, time is running out, will share more in the future ;p

GOD OF MY FOREVER

2007-10-04T06:07:00.000+08:00

GOD OF MY YOUTH I REMEMBER
YOUR CALL ON MY LIFE TOOK ME O'ER
YOUR LOVE HAS SEEN ME THROUGH ALL MY DAYS
I STAND HERE BY YOUR GRACE

ON THIS ALTAR I'VE WRITTEN MY LIFE
TELLS OF THE STORY I HAVE WITH YOU MY LORD
I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW

GOD OF MY FOREVER
AND FOREVER I'M WITH YOU
MY LIFE IS SAVED WITH A PRICE
YOUR SACRIFICE REDEEMED MY SOUL
GOD OF MY FOREVER
AND FOREVER I WILL SING
MY GREATEST HONOR WILL ALWAYS BE
TO SERVE MY LORD AND KING

GOD OF MY LIFE I'VE SURRENDERED
MY HEART FINDS ITS REST IN YOUR WORD
PRAISES WILL NOT BE ENOUGH TO SHOW
HOW MY LOVE FOR YOU HAS GROWN

NOTHING MATTERS WHEN YOU'RE HERE WITH ME
IN THE END JUST TO HEAR YOU SAY “WELL DONE”
BOWING BEFORE YOUR THRONE

FOREVER AND EVER
JESUS YOU ALONE IN GLORY REIGN
FOREVER AND EVER
WITH YOU I WALK THIS NARROW WAY

*different songs speak to us in different ways. are these just words to us? or are these commitment, assurence, and promises we are making? in this song, 'MY GREATEST HONOR WILL ALWAYS BE TO SERVE MY LORD AND KING' it really hit me when i was about to give up serving, only then i realised that the fact that we are able to serve, we are blessed. I mean, how did this thought even come into my mind? My cell leader talked to me, the song spoke to me, and the bible showed me. We might have negative thoughts in times of trials. God speak to us in different ways. I did not see a shining light that speaks. We might look alright from the outside and everyone thinks that we are doing fine. But when the time comes, God will indeed speak into us and will actually make us fine. And when we sing 'FOREVER AND EVER JESUS YOU ALONE IN GLORY REIGN FOREVER AND EVER WITH YOU I WALK THIS NARROW WAY' be sure that when difficult times come, he will lead us through it. He will not put us through what we can't bare. Continue to love and obey. He' s watching over us. Yesterday, today and forevermore. =D

Shepherd of my soul

2007-10-03T05:36:00.000+08:00

Shepherd of my soul I give you full control,
Wherever You may lead I will follow.
I have made the choice to listen for Your voice,
Wherever You may lead I will go.

Shepherd of my soul I give you full control,
Wherever You may lead I will follow.
I have made the choice to listen for Your voice,
Wherever You may lead I will go.

Be it in a quiet pasture or by a gentle stream,
The Shepherd of my soul is by my side.
Should I face a mighty mountain or a valley dark and deep,
The Shepherd of my soul will be my guide.

Shepherd of my soul I give you full control,
Wherever You may lead I will follow.
I have made the choice to listen for Your voice,
Wherever You may lead I will go.

* At some point of life, we might seem lost. We have regrets of what we have done. How can we undo such things? How could we be so heartless at that moment? Where have all the rational people that we are suppose to get advice from? Why did we not think before we act? Where is our self-control? What do we do when it is just too late to fix things? So lost, so down, so uncertain, so frustrating, so guilty, a heart full of repentance, do we just close an eye on the things that people says to us? Or do we act like nothing has happen? We can’t turn back time, we can’t undo certain mistakes. Committing every to Him, hoping for a better tomorrow, hoping that things won’t be the same, hoping that people will forgive, hoping that we can forgive ourselves. I choose to follow, follow where you lead me, I may not be perfect, but I know Your love will never change. That you will lead and provide for my every needs. Lost, so lost, just hoping to find the way.

*Was browsing around, and found another song, Title: Grand Prize - Shepherd Of My Soul.
Well i've never heard this song before, but the lyrics are nice though, speak right out from the heart it seems.

Is my life what You had in mind
I feel I'm falling behind
On the outside I look fine but
my heart is dark as wine
I look to You to pull me through the
quicksands of my life
So why am I lonely
Since You have risen

Be the shepherd of my soul

Oh my God what went wrong
I'm thirsty and I long to be filled
with Your love that only comes from above

Hosanna - song

2007-10-01T19:40:00.001+08:00

Verse 1
I see the king of glory
Coming down the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing

Chorus
Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest

Verse 2
I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a new revival
Staring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees

Bridge
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what is yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

* A very lovely song, very meaningful. Didn't appreciate at first, but after listening to it for quite some time, and suddenly can't stop listening to it. =D

Routines?

2007-09-30T18:52:00.000+08:00

Eating, sleeping, playing, praying, studying, working, surfing the net, chatting, messaging… these are some of the daily “routine” that people go through.

What will we do when suddenly these things just don’t go the way we want it to be? What will we do when we don’t have food to eat, can’t sleep, no play time, what’s next after our studies? “No internet connection in this area?”- don’t be surprised when people ask this question. Suddenly your close friend stops messaging you, what happened? You suddenly can’t focus in your work; you suddenly feel a distance away from people.

Something doesn’t go right; the first thing that comes to mind is “did I do anything wrong?”. And when we can’t find the fault, the mistake, we are troubled the whole day.

Are we too used to routine? When something doesn’t happen the way we expect it to be, we get frustrated, we ponder, and we are confused. The question of what’s next is always there…

Here’s a short story:
There is once a bunch of college student who stays together. There are close, they hardly fight, living in harmony. But no one liked to do certain chores in the house. Suddenly, one day, one of them decided that he wanted to take up the chore and do it. None of them like to do the chore, but he doesn’t mind doing it even though it might be a little troublesome. So he took up the responsibility, having the thought that doing something out of routine is nothing compared to having a house full with unhappy people when it comes to chores.
To his surprise, the housemates did not that him, but instead scolded him and said, “don’t try to be holy, we know you don’t enjoy doing this.” … >.<” Ouch, never did he thought that such words will come out from their mouth. He wasn’t even hoping for a big thank you but he never expected such respond either.
When we do good, we do not expect something in return, but what is heartbreaking is when people think that we have motives, that we try to bribe them, that we are up to something fishy. Are these things and these thoughts disturbing? But are they going to stop us from continue doing what is right? Be strong in the grace of giving. Don’t become talkers but become doers. We might be in a situation where all around us are against us. But remember that we are created for the glory of the Lord. Do all things for His glory. We might be the odd one, but we are certainly not alone.

* story is not related to what’s written before it, just some randomness. :p

Do people think too much?

2007-09-26T23:53:00.000+08:00

Do smart people think too much at some point? Here’s a situation. One day, I invited a friend for a dinner with a group of four. I said, “hey hey, John asked you, asvin and I for dinner. So come along k.” it’s a normal day situation. But I was humored with the reply I got. He was saying, I have 5 theories about this invitation.

First, he really invited the 3 of us. Second, he invited you and you are bringing both of us along. Third, he invited you and you don’t want to have dinner alone with him. Forth, you are bringing me along to make someone jealous, and fifth, you have nothing to talk to him and bring me to start a conversation.

How much can a person think out of one simple question? I just laughed and replied, when I say he invited you means that he actually invited you!!!

Are we thinking all these stuff because it happens too often around us? Here is the reasoning for him to think this way. First, there is the probability of him inviting the 3 of us. Second, sometimes, people don’t feel easy comfortable being alone with another person, well, it is no harm in bringing others along as long as the other party knows about it. Third, the more the merrier, when there are more in a crowd, it will be livelier. Forth, people sometimes get close to others to make someone jealous, but we must always remember the golden rule, people has feelings as well. And fifth, when there are more people gathered around, it is easier to initiate a conversation and there are more things to talk about.

Sometimes, when we think too much, it just leads to trouble and it might make our life miserable. But on the other hand, it prepares us for the situation to come and that we will be more cautious. But in everything we do, do it out of love. Love, be it in family, friendship, people that hurt us before, maybe even to random people around us, or even people far far away that needs our help. It is good to see other people are blessed and the smile on their face. Meet a need when you see one, it doesn’t matter if it is appreciated or not, it won’t be sincere if we are expecting something in return. =D

At last, we had dinner together in Batavia. Its Indonesian food. Food is a good way of bringing people together; catching up with what was left behind, getting to know each other more… And we had a long long chat of random stuff and went home happily. =D Praise the Lord even if it’s a bumpy road that we are going through.

A loser?

2007-09-25T18:54:00.000+08:00

What do we do when we feel like a loser? There are times that we fail, times that we succeed in life. But what actions can we take to overcome such things? Well, the best thing for us to do in such situation is to take a break, think of what went wrong, pray about it and work on it.

It is sometimes not that easy especially having people around us looking down on us. What more those who are close to us? Fixing the problems takes time. There are not much point fighting with them and defending ourselves. Is it not better to have patience and continue to work to overcome our failures? The best way to prove them wrong is to make sure that we succeed in the future.

We might feel down, feel that there is not much purpose in life, negative thoughts will come to us at such time. But we must stand strong and not be shaken. We need perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

When times that we feel useless, alone, uncertain, be sure that He is always watching over us and will certainly guide us and be with us all the time.

*We are not perfect being, there are ups and downs in life. But we are over comers!!!

Year End goals =D

2007-09-24T20:45:00.000+08:00

Its my first day of fast, fast and pray for my family and my studies =D. Not that bad, but having the urge to go online to chat on and off. Its also the first day of college, not that bad also. Well, people make their New Year resolution and work towards it. But I haven’t set much goals though, always having the mindset of if you have no goals, you have no disappointment. But well, maybe its time for a change. But this cannot be called a New Year resolution though, because its not New Year. =D maybe its just some stuff I want to do and hope to achieve. Was chatting the other day, my friend said something I it was stuck in my head since then. “Why not glorify God in everything you do?” I know this, but it just sort of keeps ringing in my brain since that statement is made. So, here are some things that I hope to achieve before I regret not doing it. In a race, all runners run, but only one will get the prize. So, we shall run in such a way that we get the prize. =D

1. Scoring in exams – well, we always talk about faith, but a man is justified by his works, not by faith alone. As a student, the best thing for now is to be a testimony is through our results.

2. Have patience – a realized that I like to rush people, but most of the time is because other people are rushing me. And I have to learn to have patience when it comes to lots of random stuff. Have my regrets and will learn to set things right.

3. Finish my book – haven’t been reading much but this book did caught my attention. Borrowed it a long long time ago but can’t seem to finish it. After reading a bit, I realized that there are many things that I don’t understand yet. (will write a blog about it after I finish reading =D)

4. Live a healthy lifestyle – well, first I have to start with a healthy diet. Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Keep is healthy keep it clean!!! And some exercises will do me good as well. And have at least 4-5 hours of sleep per day.

5. Start a record of my budget – I’ve to learn to be a good steward of $$$. Was thinking back, I realized that I myself don’t spend much, but I have to keep an account of where my $ goes. (it’s amazing that I had only 2 figure in my account in mid August. But I’m still living till now, indeed He will provide when we give faithfully.) Was blessed by my dad, my mum and my sis.

Well, no point setting too many goals and not working towards it. So, this is so far 5 objectives that I will want to achieve by the end of this year!!!

Some Bugging random thoughts

2007-09-21T13:37:00.000+08:00

1. Why would someone buy vodka knowing that he/she will never drink it? Random actions that has no explanation?

2. Why do we expect to find a perfect partner when we alone are not perfect? And when the perfect person shown up, we find that we are unworthy and back off?

3. Why do we get homesick when we just leave home for one day? Even when we have lots of activities around us.

4. Why do we smile all the time when there are actually nothing much to be happy about? And can’t even cry when we are depressed? Till no one can actually tell how we feel from the outside?

5. How do we say that we are close to God when non-Christians know the bible better then us? How can we not remember much even we have been reading the same stuff over and over again?

6. Why do we have endless chats online and have practically nothing to talk about when we meet each other? Does internet create more problems then solving?

7. Why is it that random things just appear when we say we want to focus? Why do random people appear when we have other better things to think about?

8. Why is it hard to say “no” to a close friend even if its inconvenient? Why is it more fun to see our friends being happy rather then being happy doing other things that we enjoy?

9. Why do we feel guilty when we do something wrong and when others don’t feel a thing at all? Why do we feel extremely guilty when someone is upset because of us?

10. How do we celebrate when we do well but others don’t? And how do we don’t do well when everyone else is doing well? Where will we be many years from now?

*How do we expect people to understand how we feel when we sometimes don’t understand how we ourselves feel?